Bearsy

Hi Phil! Does the little blonde one get naked again? She was my favourite from the first season! You know the little blonde dragon chick what was always getting rear ended by that big warrior dude! Edit: Dat's her!

I used to take a lot of note of Alpine's opinions a few years back when he was predicting we'd lose, that the manager was useless, the players were crap and the wheels were coming off big time I was like Wow! This Alpine Saint character really knows his football! Last couple of years tho when he's still predicting we'll lose, we're not good enough and the wheels are about to come off big time he's like a stopped clock. He needs the post Liebherr reboot. He needs to learn we're actually quite good at football now!

I've always said having actual sand on ur beaches is overated! What u want to do is sunbathe on a load of sharp stones!

hahaha bletch u evil genius! I love every part of that plan and I can't see even the smallest flaw in it! It was also impressive how u could be bearsy so convincingly in that letter to my neighbours! Do u want to swap logins for a week? U can be all bearsy and i can be all bletchy! it'll be chaos on saintsweb! I'm glad to say it's all academic nows tho!

You're so vain, I bet you think this sh!t film's about you. You're so vain, you are so vain! I bet you think this sh!t film's about you, don't you, don't you?

I had to google Tulasne - that's in bleediing America! I've got to emigrate as well now FFS! I've got to admire your commitment tho - that's like the most ridiculously convulated plan ever just to shake off a chick! But, ultimately, I don't want to be mean to her. She's kind of fragile. If I was willing to screw her over as bad as ur suggesting I may as well tell her to **** off now. The whole point is that I want her to move out on her own accord while still retaining the rights to bone her! I need something more subtle!

Ok maybe it was NotBigSam

Yeah I wouldn't really windows, that's not how bearsy roles. I like to row with them but that's mostly cos i like the angry sex you get at the end when they're still a bit p!ssed off with you. I think I'll keep your Propose suggestion on the back burner tho. There must be an easier way. The one thing it's got going for it is her dad is a bit of d!ck and i like the idea of him getting stuck with wedding bills when i do a bunk. How close did you cut it - was she standing at the altar?

I thought maybe we could be more magnanimous and less vitriolic. We're the big club, right? I think it would be a nice gesture: "We'll meet again, don't know where don't know wheeeeeeen"

I could maybe smack her round a bit. That's what the last patsy did.

What happens to the other 2/11 terrorists? They get off scot free?

Take that back homie! What's the more blokish thing to own: A live-in sex slave, or the ability to crack one off in the front room whenever u feel like it?

I was hoping for a Pompey Drinking Game! Every time Guly miscontrols - have another drink! Every time a Pompey player throws a girlish tantrum disputing a decision - have another drink! Every time Lallana skins their full-back - have another drink!

Do STDs count?

Moany old buggers! Kids of today are awesome! Miles better than the kids u see in old movies and junk! Some probably are nawty but i bet that was never any different, kids was always fighting and stealing or whatever. I bet 100 years ago bunch of old farts were sitting round saying "tut tut kids of today running wild, it never happened when we used to send 'em down the mines or whatever"

Rule 1 dude.

I've got a screwdriver, somewhere. The dude what come to assemble my bedstead left it behind. Also when I moved in I found a box of cigars hidden on top of the kitchen cupboards. I ain't smoked 'em or nothing cos I don't want to get cancers, but it's pretty butch just to have 'em. Sometimes I put one in my mouth when I'm watching tv and pretend to be in A Team.

It's weird that u need a strap on dildo tho. You have no penis?

You know, even without the visible boner I'd of said it was a dude! Look at them shoulders! Also no arse, no arse at all. Anyone got any fresh ideas? She needs to be gone over easter, I can't trust her not to eat my easter eggs while I'm at work. I'm willing to pay cash money to get shot - is anyone looking for a lodger???

Should I get lawyer???

It's been like 2 weeks already! Does that mean legally it's like we're married???

Hmm maybe fish is not the best idea. I don't know about rats, where would I get some rats? How about spiders - she don't like spiders! I could introduce say a couple of dozen spiders into the place and pretend to be one of those freaks who refuses to kill them cos "they keep the flies in check". That'd probably work! I could put some on her face in the night! I could wake her and be like "Look at all these spiders on your face! They clearly like you! Aren't they sweet!"

I own the flat! Is there anyone else that says how many people can live in a place? Could the fire brigade say there's only allowed to be one person cos of the lifts and fire escape situations? Would that wash?

You lot are all too crude with ur suggestions! I was thinking of something more subtle! Like for example if I cultivated a bad smell in the flat? I could hide a fish somewhere and when she objects I'd be like "oh that's smell is always here in the summer. I quite like it." Do you think that would work? Any idea what's the best fish to use? Also where is the best place to put it, and how long will it take to clear the smell out once I've got her shifted?

I'm not ****ing proposing Windows FFS! What kind of advice is that! Also, you weren't to know, but her ex is a bit of a psycho by all accounts and I'm keen to get her moved on before he finds out where I live! I haven't got time to play the long game of arranging marriages etc.