Bearsy

... tattoed across my beergut

I was trying to think who'll give us the biggest dicking next season! I think we'll get dicked by Arsenal fo' sure - we always used to get dicked by Arsenal. Newcastle I think will give us a dicking for some reason. Definitely at their place anyway. Tottenham will be dicking us if we catch them on a bad day. We'll get nothing from Manchester except dicking, obviously, Chelsea aren't really into giving teams a dicking anymore but I think they might make an exception in our case. I even think we'll get dicked at Villa and they haven't dicked anyone since 1992! Liverpool won't be dicking us tho. They're w@nk.

Yeah I went to see Hunger Games, not with Steeeve but I kind of concur with his opinion, "not the best". Dunno what was wrong with it, it kind of looked a bit budget, the main girl was good, the love interest was weak though all the girls in my cinema gave out gasps of excitement when she kissed the grumpy looking little runt she was supposed to be into. She clearly weren't into him tho, she clearly had a secret thing for Lenny Kravitz. Probably she hadn't heard his music yet. I know it's a kids film but it could've used more violence too, you kind of know what's going on but you don't get to see too much of it. Also I noticed there's hardly any background music - how am I supposed to know what to feel without musical prompts from John Williams???

Didn't Jos sign before Seaborne's "incident"? That's how I remember it. I remember thinking, oh it's lucky we just signed that new CB from Celtic!

Good composure to realise he had time to run round the ball to hit the second. Either that or his left foot is ****!

It's not a cup! Stop calling it a cup!

Cheers dude. What's Miles, is he in charge of Football Managers? Can u ask him why I have to wait so much longer than everyone else!

Is the wife in charge of decorating dog? I've been staring at the mirror but I can't decide what I'm seeing. Are you wearing a thong?

I'm all for reform pap! What I'd do is anyone who wants to be Prime Minister is automatically disqualified on grounds of rampant egotism and megalomania. What's gonna happen next polling day is you just get a blank sheet of paper and have to write down the name of who you want to be in charge. That way you've got a lot of scope for change! You can vote for your nan or your dad, or your favourite actress or porn star or whatever! David Beckham is the early favourite for next Prime Minister under the proposed Bearsy electoral reform. I think he'd do a bang up job!

Any idea where the iPhone update is homie? I'm kinda hoping they fixed the Saints finances which are ****ed up!

ok fair enough! Maybe everyone could help SIP out and post on here to say when they last posted? I last posted now, it's Thursday and it's like quarter to 10. Do you need to know what kind of underwear we've got on? Mine are boxers. I got them at the Gap.

21 Jump Street ain't bad homies. It's a bit spoofy sometimes which is a drag but it's got some funny bits in it. You could do worse.

You have a dirty mind! If he says he's having a dump he's having a dump! 7-10 minutes is suspicious though. Too long for a straight dump, too quick for a reading the paper dump. Probably about par for... nah. No way. Maybe...

Festival Republic tried to get him first but he couldn't do Reading. Boom-boom!

Lots of things matter! Having good players! Doing well in the league! Winning football matches! Having a good stadium! Having a club to support next season!

And you wonder why!

What have you got against bears??? I feel bad for Jillyanne's husband. She's clearly that desperate to bend his ear bout what chores she's got planned for him that she can't even give the poor sod 7-10 minutes in his own society. It's sad really. She should remember that an evacuated bowel is the key to a succesful marriage. She should be encouraging this behaviour! She should tell him to take his time "There's no need to rush, Jillyanne's Husband" Jillyanne should say to her husband. She should take an interest. She should offer to look at what he's done before he flushes. She should stand there silently holding the paper for him while he wipes, gently turning the page when he indicates with a grave nod of his concentrated head that he's ready for the next installment.

Amateur!

In fact, here's a test for you! How long does he normally take, like 20 minutes? Next time follow him into the toilet and talk to him the whole time, I think you'd be surprised how much quicker he gets done!

In the case of your husband Jillyanne, it sounds like he's avoiding your society! Are you a nag?

Just as I feared, I knew they'd shut that loophole sooner or later.

I always play Tiger Woods Golf on my iphone! Sometimes I'm there ages till my legs go all numb! What do you do Jillyanne, just like sit there staring at the wall? Isn't that boring?

Does anything in the budget affect bears???

Surely Centre Parcs is just a euphemism for anal sex? You know, like I'm gonna centre park my mansword in one of those delicious mumsnet bums!

They don't make smoke jonnyboy, they emit like a fog or something.