rallyboy

Putting everything else aside, if he's turned his head and been clipped on the ear by a bullet fired from 150 yards away, he is one lucky fucker.

Indeed, US citizens do like their news relayed in simple Hollywood terms, every story needs an arc they can follow and appropriate music to remind people what they should be thinking. This one is simply, hero telling it like it is gets shot, but defies the bad guys and refuses to be silenced. Cue inspirational music and President Trump riding into the sunset while conspiracy theorists go mental in the background. This couldn't be a better script for Trump, it's perfect for his campaign.

The Changing of the Arseholes. They have no quality to choose from.

Is this a sponsorship deal with Marwell?

One or two Tories don't seem to have learned anything, they're still making up the same old shit that got them thrown out. It's all gone quiet on the meat tax, seven bins and compulsory car sharing, but Labour are going to concrete over the green belt apparently. Stop telling lies, do your fucking job and come up with some actual policy, a sensible opposition is never a bad thing.

Anyone who voted for Richard Holden needs sectioning - seriously, if they really thought that he was the answer to anything they should never be allowed near a polling station ever again. How he still has a job is a damning judgement on the intelligence of voters in Basildon and Billericay. Shame on them.

Sorry if I've missed someone highlighting this before but Rupert Lowe and Mrs Sunak jointly owned a company that went pop and left the taxpayer with loads of debt. I know she has history with closing companies after taking furlough and that Rupert has several ventures that closed, but I didn't realise that Lowe and the Sunaks were so close... With Reform vowing to destroy the Tories, it's an unusual friendship...

Now the criminals have left the scene can we see some PPE fraud prosecutions, including the former ministers involved, and some genuine attempts to recover Covid loans and furlough fraud?

I don't think we need any experts or 'good ideas', we've all done perfectly well without that sort of nonsense for a decade.

I can hardly get out of my front door now, seven woke recycling bins all over the front path. When we eventually got past them, and up the street full of immigrant criminals who have just arrived and been given new houses due to open borders being enabled, we went shopping to discover the new meat tax is going to cripple us - 32% on a pork chop! At least we're better off than the local pensioners who are now all bankrupt due to heavy taxes, every single one of them. The country has made a huge mistake, just when everything was going so well. Seven fucking bins! 😡

One more sleep until bin day.

Fantastic - what a guy.

Mark Cavendish.

No there hasn't.

Sunak's campaign strategy people have had an absolute shocker from start to finish. What shall we do today, stand outside in a thunderstorm, tell veterans to fuck off, make up a meat tax, stand in front of a Titanic sign or attack Starmer for sounding like a family man? Seriously, that party needs an enquiry into who has been calling the shots.

I'm not a fan of all their music but Idles were fucking epic. It was nuts.

What's funny about soldiers and settlers bulldozing family homes and dumping kids in the street? An emoji that definitely wasn't thought through and looks horrendous in the cold light of day. But, but, I meant something else.... No you didn't.

Rishi ploughed through his normal greatest hits set tonight - nasty Labour's secret taxes, leftie open borders, Starmer murders puppies - and his new single, a promise to fly 50,000 people to Rwanda. He seems to think that plodding out the same old lies and interrupting at every opportunity is a good look. It's not, it's desperate and he'll regret it in a fortnight as it makes him look dishonest.

I had a terrible dream last night, I was forced to watch a Claude Puel backwards and sideways masterclass on a loop - it was so dull I just couldn't wake up.

No, you lost your bet and you're wrong on all three counts. Yet again. I just wanted professionals dealing with things professionally. Not quite sure why you have to be abusive, there's a lot of anger there. Have a nice day.

Even putting aside the fact that they lied and partied while loved ones were buried alone, the government's Covid response has been exposed as an absolute clusterfuck and the facts are writ large in black and white, from the death figures to the profiteering. But their real problem is that behind every personal loss, there are people who will never forgive them - and each one of them has a vote. The sky is dark with chickens coming home....

Never a pen, Stuey ran into the box to make it look like one and then backed into the poor guy who was a bit wobbly because it was hot there - it should have been a free kick to Hungary for obstruction, or for Stuey kicking the back of his leg into the guy's knee. In fact the reffing was so obviously spot-on that we didn't even have to put up with VAR checking. Had that challenge been at Old Trafford on a Man Utd player there is no way a penalty would have been given, no way at all.

BT Business - try leaving them - absolute fuckwits of the highest order. Total shambles of a company.

Not sure who had a worse night, Southgate or Sunak. At least Gareth gets another chance and will probably progress, whereas Rishi, well, every time he opens his mouth another thousand voters switch off. He still doesn't realise that every time he boasts about furlough and how he protected us all, every single freelance or self-employed worker in the UK that he abandoned, is counting down the hours to polling day when they will come together to bang a few million nails into his political coffin.

They do seem to be a pair of twats. But anyone who think Stonehenge is from the dawn of time needs to look beyond the hype. It was a pile of interesting historic rubble that we rebuilt and cemented in place during the 60s - it's nothing but a tourist con. And it's not very big.