rallyboy

In all fairness they have had a good summer window - the mighty blue army has cracked open the warchest and seen off fierce Premier League competition to bring in some really talented players, all of whom signed because they want to play for a massive club and sample the best atmosphere in world football, not because they were offered ridiculously high wages on long contracts that other clubs wouldn't match. Every signing has stated in local media that they are now battling for the pluckiest fans in the world. All delivered in short sentences. That could have been longer. On top of that, off the field development is very impressive - they found a second table tennis table off Gumtree, pumped 7,000 litres of fat out of the stadium toilet, all of which is being recycled through local food outlets as part of the club's green initiative, and as the next stage of the stadium upgrades they greased up the jockey wheel on the Fratton End and planted new lucky heather.

and on here.

From the current allegations it sounds a little bit like a yes. Investigations will have to decide whether any acts stack up as pretending you are someone else and requesting sex pix and videos from people in positions of influence who are then easily manipulated.

GB News is owned and directed by a guy who is a friend of Michael Gove, he's also Tory donor, a rabid Brexiteer who has made a significant profit from our EU exit as a multi-millionaire hedgefund manager. Every time I've stumbled across it there's a right wing MP, an alleged sex offender, or a professional nutjob promoting the owner's agenda on immigrants, climate, Brexit, scroungers, lefties and wokery. So if I had to guess, I reckon it probably does lean a little bit to the right.

Twat.

Anyway, back on the subject of the bloated and corrupt Russian-backed Eton clusterfuck, is the lying serial shagger still playing a blinder? If he is, it's time he got a fucking guide dog because his whole career is starting to look like the slowest car crash on record. Now let's see what mad shit is on his WhatsApp.... 🍿

While it would be great to make demands and be in control, as a relegated club with a very talented player attracting Premier League interest, I'm not sure that what happens next will be fully our decision. We just need to hold out for as much as possible.

BBC are still running Who Do You Think You Are? Perhaps they should consider a new format - something like What The Actual Fuck Do You Think You're Doing?!

Oh well, it kept Boris, his phone, his contempt of court, and his daughter, all out of the news for a while, and that was the aim. I wonder what next important story will replace this when Huwgate dies down - Starmer tortures puppies? Illegals are pushing up our mortgage costs? #deadcat

Clacton - a town that's served with egg and chips. Add a slice of Pineapple for 50p.

Heavily possession-based football that often leans towards style rather than results and requires capable full backs, a clinical striker and patience from fans? 😨 I thought we'd just tried that and it wasn't a roaring success - I hope he can hit the ground running and deliver something fresh straightaway.

He's got more kids than he has supporters.

Claiming that Boris isn't a liar has to be the 'bravest' hill to die on - and if you don't know where it is, it's the huge ugly one adjoined to Mount Brexit, the only hill in the world with so few uplands it's a fucking crater.

Are we able to get the PA volume increased for the new season? It was so quiet sometimes that people in southern France struggled to hear the fucking music.

People who never clean their kettles - they're the same fuckers who vigorously pour it immediately after boiling while the lumps of shit are still floating around, thus filling your hot drink with a pile of crap.

What ordinary fans did for Ron was the best of the Southampton Way, magnificent - and well deserved. Players and managers come and go, and some command respect through their achievements - the likes of Souness, Poch, Shearer, Koeman, Ings, even VVD. But however much you might command respect, no amount of medals will make people love you, affection is not your decision. Stokes had it, and Rodrigues, Ricky has it, Franny, Matt still does, and Ron definitely had it.

Sounds like she was the Ed Sheeran of her time - heard something, might have borrowed it a bit to sell...

Goodbye Premier League, not sure I'll really miss you, it's not been right for a long time. Yeah, I wanted you, but you turned out to be style over substance, a weekly battle to keep our heads above mediocrity, and those last few years have been like like domestic abuse. Oh I know, there were a few highlights, the odd win, some good times, but I cannot recall one that left more of an impression on me than the horrendous turgid soul-destroying home performances of recent years. It's been toxic, sideways, pointless, backwards, gutless - and now we're through I don't even care, I just want to find some happiness. So keep your stupid kick off times and your VAR, keep your dodgy refs shafting us, keep your fucking light show, your cardboard signs asking for shirts, your ridiculous handball rules and your away fans in the home sections, I'm off to try and rediscover a bit of joy. Bye.

I'm no happy clapper but after several years of appalling value for money, £500 to keep the club afloat and hopefully see the odd good game and some wins doesn't seem too bad.

This is as bad as when we appointed that ex-squaddie from Grimsby, or that physio bloke from Scunthorpe.

Despite all the evidence to the contrary and the fact that we have been by far the worst team of a terrible bunch, I still can't shrug off the deranged optimism that we might get something on Sunday. Blind faith brings us back - sadly that faith normally lasts less than ten minutes.

Error-riddled newspaper with hilariously low circulation and an unusable website designed by a toddler, desperately seeks the love of toothless simpletons by promoting childishly dull non-campaign.

Rishi is emerging as a no-trick pony. His only response to any situation is to parrot bland slogans about delivering and stopping boats, he has literally no other mode. At least he has his basketball career to fall back on.

If they do manage to get all that done by 8.30 tonight as promised, I think that's fair enough. Infrastructure before shareholders.

Any player who kept us up over the years is probably entitled to ask what the fuck that gutless, sideways, lazy, chaotic season was all about.