rallyboy

Of all the countries he was likely to declare war on, I didn't expect Canada to be the first target. I'm looking forward to that free trade deal with the US that Boris told us about....should be finalised any day now.

Stevie wasn't detained for reporting a trial, he was arrested for contempt of court because he was interfering with a trial - for the second time. There are thousands of people on social media who need to get informed before they jump on the far right freedom bus. The far right is clumsily selling the idea that illegally quizzing defendants, solicitors and jury members within the precincts of the court is the same as reporting the facts. People can either choose to buy in as it suits their agenda - or perhaps follow meekly along because they're as thick as pig's ****? Either way, if you are looking for a genuine free speech battle to support, and there are many out there, this isn't one.

I'm not a massive Stones fan but when they're playing in your back garden it's only polite to attend - and they were bloody awesome. It was the best thing I've seen on that pitch since Boufal scored against West Brom, and if Boufal was as fit and dedicated as Jagger he wouldn't be on the youth team's summer minibus trip to Butlins Minehead. It was a great show - and you don't leave SMS muttering that very often these days.

It's a simple tale which requires no complex analysis. A man was arrested for breaking laws which apply to everyone. He repeated the offence and was jailed. The end.

Let's just clarify, Stephen Yaxley-Lennon aka man-on-the-street Tommy Robinson was not jailed for telling the truth or exposing wrongdoing - do not believe the social media hype, he's no warrior of free speech. Neither was he silenced to protect offenders - as Bexy points out, his stupidity could have led to alleged rapists walking free, as their defence solicitor could have pointed to his reckless interference in the case. The style of his Facebooking Live within the precincts of the court could have destroyed the entire police investigation. His actions were the height of so-called citizen journalism stupidity - a man with zero grasp of UK law drives a bus through the restrictions regarding the reporting of court cases, then reverses over the survivors.... On the other point, some might suggest that if a man behaves like a moron and sounds like a moron while repeating the mistakes of history, there's a pretty good chance that he is a touch moronic.

Indeed, Trousers deals with all enquiries, he's happy to talk newcomers through the whole thread, one page at a time, explaining every reference and offering unique background analysis.

You guys need to let this go. There is nothing remotely funny about us dodging a relegation that was nailed on for nine months and ruining their party that they sang about for ninety minutes every week. Nor is it comical that they dodged a play-off place when their goalkeeper's attempt to replicate Boufal's goal against West Brom ended abruptly in his own six yard box against the Bury youth team. However crap the season is, it's always nice to see someone worse off. But there's nothing to see here, so move along.

It did even out, we got robbed of two points for a blatant handball that even made Stevie Wonder wince, but we then won a throw-in on the halfway line against Man Utd that maybe should have been theirs. The same as when Kevin Friend was playing for Liverpool and on that one day his mistakes cost us a league place - we won a goalkick that season that should have been a corner. So it all evens out.

Having tried both clubs without much success, anyone know someone who dropped their gym card in all the excitement at the end of the game the other night? It has a scrawly signature and no clues to the name. Ask around - I can reunite owner and card.

I felt a bit sorry for Swansea, in a nostalgic way. They looked like we did before we appointed a manager who grasps the basic principles of the sport. They were toothless, jittery, with feeble performances all over the pitch, and even when things were desperate they couldn't muster a proper attack. It was like watching us play against our old selves - which gave me confidence that they would never score. I don't know if Hughes is the man to build a club around long term, but if you are in trouble, forget the old Pardew, Pulis and Allardyce gang - there's a new daddy in town.

If you have three apples and two oranges, why on earth did you outbid the rest of the Premier League to sign unaffordable players?

My recollection is that the restrictions on use always ruled out selling the site and cramming houses and commercial property on it. The only way they'll get money for The Fortress of Fat is if they stick it on Homes Under the Hammer and some dimwit local builder jumps in without reading the legal pack. But at least he'll get Nelson's computer table, the shroud of Turin and the grassy knoll used by the CIA.

I admire any keeper who has the confidence and technical skill to attempt a Cruyff turn on the edge of his own six yard box... That said, the training ground is probably the best place to have your first clumsy attempt, rather than in an actual match. But it was worth it for the comedy value - a nice way to confirm Division Three status next season.

Before the toothless and their sisters rise from their hibernation and return here to celebrate their love of Bournemouth, let's give a nod of recognition to Mack. He didn't hide, he kept sticking his head up even when his club closed to make way for a new one and became irrelevant to the rest of football. Fair play to him.

Do they really want to reopen that enormous comedy warehouse? It's packed full of arms dealers, unpaid players, club-financed prostitutes, heather-peddling simpletons who will believe anything, false accounts, a tax-dodging dog, ridiculous estimates of people on Southsea Common, kids with their legs blown off, backhanders, a poor innocent woman on a mobility scooter and a level of delusion normally associated with serious mental health issues. So please stop them from reopening the 2008 cup debate - it won't end there, we'll have an underwater casino before you know it and Maradona will be watching the World Cup Final next to HMS Warrior while his tubby mate sells ice creams. I can't go through all that again.

When you lose your biggest game of the season against a top team from London, with the whole world watching, it's gonna hurt. That said, Charlton Athletic must have been surprised at the home fans booing their own plucky heroes.

They'll do anything to dodge a derby.

Calling the simple folk, ill-informed and easily-led! Rise from your six-year hibernation my lovelies, take Nan's bacon scissors to your fringe and brush your tooth, because there are fresh portsmyths being written right now by Disney's finest and we need you to open wide and gulp down all the made-up drivel you're spoon-fed. And remember, just like the olden days of the previous football club that closed, once a myth is repeated in a pub, it's then an official fact. #dockstrike #tankcommander #freeticketsforimmigrants

That's the worst thing for me. I can cope with relegation, it's been on the cards for a year - been there, done that, it's just football. Then you look at your grandchild in a little Saints kit and you feel responsible for their misery. I guess it'll be character-building... And to address the direct question, I'm not happy about it but I'd rather this than seeing them hop between Man City and Chelsea etc for the rest of their lives! That is a road of shame that only the most feeble tread.

From what I recall of the major training ground investment projects when they were proudly announced, personal fitness appears to be based mainly around ping-pong.

You nutjobs still don't get it! How many times do I have to explain?? There was no criminality, there was no welcoming of criminals with open arms, there was no ignoring quite clearly that people were using money from organised crime to generate football results! And there was certainly no use of arms dealing money or cash stolen from Lithuanian pensioners or charities, and no one was shot in revenge attacks by rival gangs. So let it go! pompey only ran into trouble ten minutes after the final whistle of the 2008 cup final, because the world markets struggled - not because they were illegally-owned and running a madly unsustainable wagebill and transfer policy to launder money. Thankfully they then recovered from the stockmarket crash and a little bout of insolvent trading, just in time for the cup game at St Marys, when luckily for them, they were running legally again, as supported by the false accounts presented to the High Court. Sadly on the triumphant trip home along the M27 there was an issue with the taxman wanting some money or something, he was waiting at Segensworth - and it all went a little bit wrong again because of the FA not selecting them better directors and owners, which is unfair as the FA's main job isn't running the game, it's trying to spot when clubs dress up criminals as saviours and try to pull a fast one - or four. And they certainly didn't continue to overspend after the first administration - nor did they try to wriggle out of all debt by agreeing a CVA but with no intention of paying it. So this thread is ridiculous, clearly based on jealousy. Little-minded people are still trying to make a link between the cup win and the accompanying debt and theft that made it possible - that's crazy! The club can walk away from the debt and the criminality but retain the history from the same era - that's only fair! And to support this I'm going to make up some figures, add in some appalling spelling, stick in an apostrophe for no reason and circulate some vulgar-hued mad graphic on Facebook for simpletons to Like - that'll show you green-eyed idiots!

Trying to offload 12,000 out-of-date Cornettos?

On a lighter note - the ice cream seller just got banged up for five years for stealing money from his wife and using it to buy pompey. He was one of the more pleasant crooks they welcomed, he didn't maim any kids and he didn't kill anyone - bad fashion is not a crime. #hero

Harsh but true.

If he's got anything that's only been seen by his sister, it won't be a CV.