rallyboy

That's the one who was later exposed as pretending to own the club, then he pretended to pay the players as they pretended to compete fairly in the FA Cup.

HMRC.

As is traditional with 2-2 wins, the bus parade sets off at 10am from Guildhall Square and expects to get to Southsea by 2pm - don't use that end of the M27 today, it'll be gridlocked.

That is going to get messy. If I was a kid in that school I'd want to sit in the shallow end of the classroom.

Welcome - but if we lose tonight, don't come back here, it'll be less fun than being stuck in a lift with Claude Puel for a month and more depressing than a Radiohead/Leonard Cohen concept album about kitten rescue centres burning down.

Then again they are easily baffled by the concept of things like National Insurance, paying players' their wages - and passing on charity money. Once they master them, they could progress to complex things like tactics. Either way, Jackett's doing great at the moment.

Even as the footballing gods spray us with sh!t, they pause briefly to present us with a little treat, for that we thank them. Tomorrow the sprayer goes back on - so let's quietly enjoy the moment.

It was a big night for that Chelsea youth team - if any of them make it in the game they will always fondly recall the one night that they experienced the best atmosphere in world football. And the plucky 3,113 people who packed the fortress and roared Jackett's battling troops to a gloriously narrow defeat, will never see those Chelsea players again.

sorry Mack, we are resting between league defeats so I thought I'd have a little pop at an easy target. It was fun and slightly nostalgic, all those references to how important it was, then you read the small print and realise it was aimed at easily-led simpletons...I couldn't resist.

A Charge Up the Leagues?? Wasn't that about four seasons to get out of the basement? #charge Stand back, the Hype Machine is firing up again and targeting simpletons across the island - next step, some dull loan signing accompanied by the traditional template interview. Massive club, great fans, sleeping giant, table tennis table, Tesco nearby, dock strike, SS tank driver, longest contract I've ever been offered on stupid wages, blah, blah, yawn, etc.

Could someone pick David Shepherd up, he seems to have fallen over.* *niche cricket joke for an audience of approx three.

I started spreading the Redknapp Return rumour on Portsea about ten days ago, just for my own amusement - please tell me it's gone viral!

The shrewd football fan chooses the correct time to laugh at others less fortunate, so I'll keep my powder dry for the mo.... But if anyone fears a closing of the gap, let's just remember that Eisner bought the entire club and its four year history for £5.6m. Compare that with £75m for one player and it puts everything into context. While we are clearly struggling in the Atlantic, the plucky minnows are currently flapping about in sixth - in a puddle.

I guess Penny's resignation moment will be when they discover that she historically defended tax-dodgers. My how they will laugh down at the Treasury.

Thanks for that - I don't get to read stuff like The Sun very often so it's nice to catch up on proper news.

How long before we hear that our new bloke was in charge of Tenko...

Where did it say that the Premier League had serious doubts about the Gao family? I've not seen that, and hopefully their solicitors haven't seen it either.

Unlucky. That Fulham u21 are quite a tough team to beat - pompey did well to take them to penalties.

Yes, and a radio station. And top class catering.... Then sort out the squad and the ground if there's any money left over.

Saints valued at £262m. pompey valued at £5.67m.

If you hold up your hands to block the path of the ball it's a penalty. When the commentator said it was ball to hands it just demonstrated that he hasn't read the rules since 1980 and needs to catch up. He was presumably equally shocked when the keepers didn't pick up back passes, and we had goalposts instead of jumpers. Two good penalty shouts - you'd expect to be awarded one of them, and probably miss it.

Not another ref who found the game was too big for him! Or is it Kenny Jackett who can't cope with managing a big club? Either way it'll be something about being the biggestest club - or some other old nonesense.

Mad talk.

Dodged us again.

I mean charges on the ground. I'd like to think they can find the £125k due.....unless of course they have defaulted on that as cash flow becomes an issue pre-takeover....