rallyboy

They'll do anything to dodge a derby.

Calling the simple folk, ill-informed and easily-led! Rise from your six-year hibernation my lovelies, take Nan's bacon scissors to your fringe and brush your tooth, because there are fresh portsmyths being written right now by Disney's finest and we need you to open wide and gulp down all the made-up drivel you're spoon-fed. And remember, just like the olden days of the previous football club that closed, once a myth is repeated in a pub, it's then an official fact. #dockstrike #tankcommander #freeticketsforimmigrants

That's the worst thing for me. I can cope with relegation, it's been on the cards for a year - been there, done that, it's just football. Then you look at your grandchild in a little Saints kit and you feel responsible for their misery. I guess it'll be character-building... And to address the direct question, I'm not happy about it but I'd rather this than seeing them hop between Man City and Chelsea etc for the rest of their lives! That is a road of shame that only the most feeble tread.

From what I recall of the major training ground investment projects when they were proudly announced, personal fitness appears to be based mainly around ping-pong.

You nutjobs still don't get it! How many times do I have to explain?? There was no criminality, there was no welcoming of criminals with open arms, there was no ignoring quite clearly that people were using money from organised crime to generate football results! And there was certainly no use of arms dealing money or cash stolen from Lithuanian pensioners or charities, and no one was shot in revenge attacks by rival gangs. So let it go! pompey only ran into trouble ten minutes after the final whistle of the 2008 cup final, because the world markets struggled - not because they were illegally-owned and running a madly unsustainable wagebill and transfer policy to launder money. Thankfully they then recovered from the stockmarket crash and a little bout of insolvent trading, just in time for the cup game at St Marys, when luckily for them, they were running legally again, as supported by the false accounts presented to the High Court. Sadly on the triumphant trip home along the M27 there was an issue with the taxman wanting some money or something, he was waiting at Segensworth - and it all went a little bit wrong again because of the FA not selecting them better directors and owners, which is unfair as the FA's main job isn't running the game, it's trying to spot when clubs dress up criminals as saviours and try to pull a fast one - or four. And they certainly didn't continue to overspend after the first administration - nor did they try to wriggle out of all debt by agreeing a CVA but with no intention of paying it. So this thread is ridiculous, clearly based on jealousy. Little-minded people are still trying to make a link between the cup win and the accompanying debt and theft that made it possible - that's crazy! The club can walk away from the debt and the criminality but retain the history from the same era - that's only fair! And to support this I'm going to make up some figures, add in some appalling spelling, stick in an apostrophe for no reason and circulate some vulgar-hued mad graphic on Facebook for simpletons to Like - that'll show you green-eyed idiots!

Trying to offload 12,000 out-of-date Cornettos?

On a lighter note - the ice cream seller just got banged up for five years for stealing money from his wife and using it to buy pompey. He was one of the more pleasant crooks they welcomed, he didn't maim any kids and he didn't kill anyone - bad fashion is not a crime. #hero

Harsh but true.

If he's got anything that's only been seen by his sister, it won't be a CV.

That's the one who was later exposed as pretending to own the club, then he pretended to pay the players as they pretended to compete fairly in the FA Cup.

HMRC.

As is traditional with 2-2 wins, the bus parade sets off at 10am from Guildhall Square and expects to get to Southsea by 2pm - don't use that end of the M27 today, it'll be gridlocked.

That is going to get messy. If I was a kid in that school I'd want to sit in the shallow end of the classroom.

Welcome - but if we lose tonight, don't come back here, it'll be less fun than being stuck in a lift with Claude Puel for a month and more depressing than a Radiohead/Leonard Cohen concept album about kitten rescue centres burning down.

Then again they are easily baffled by the concept of things like National Insurance, paying players' their wages - and passing on charity money. Once they master them, they could progress to complex things like tactics. Either way, Jackett's doing great at the moment.

Even as the footballing gods spray us with sh!t, they pause briefly to present us with a little treat, for that we thank them. Tomorrow the sprayer goes back on - so let's quietly enjoy the moment.

It was a big night for that Chelsea youth team - if any of them make it in the game they will always fondly recall the one night that they experienced the best atmosphere in world football. And the plucky 3,113 people who packed the fortress and roared Jackett's battling troops to a gloriously narrow defeat, will never see those Chelsea players again.

sorry Mack, we are resting between league defeats so I thought I'd have a little pop at an easy target. It was fun and slightly nostalgic, all those references to how important it was, then you read the small print and realise it was aimed at easily-led simpletons...I couldn't resist.

A Charge Up the Leagues?? Wasn't that about four seasons to get out of the basement? #charge Stand back, the Hype Machine is firing up again and targeting simpletons across the island - next step, some dull loan signing accompanied by the traditional template interview. Massive club, great fans, sleeping giant, table tennis table, Tesco nearby, dock strike, SS tank driver, longest contract I've ever been offered on stupid wages, blah, blah, yawn, etc.

Could someone pick David Shepherd up, he seems to have fallen over.* *niche cricket joke for an audience of approx three.

I started spreading the Redknapp Return rumour on Portsea about ten days ago, just for my own amusement - please tell me it's gone viral!

The shrewd football fan chooses the correct time to laugh at others less fortunate, so I'll keep my powder dry for the mo.... But if anyone fears a closing of the gap, let's just remember that Eisner bought the entire club and its four year history for £5.6m. Compare that with £75m for one player and it puts everything into context. While we are clearly struggling in the Atlantic, the plucky minnows are currently flapping about in sixth - in a puddle.

I guess Penny's resignation moment will be when they discover that she historically defended tax-dodgers. My how they will laugh down at the Treasury.

Thanks for that - I don't get to read stuff like The Sun very often so it's nice to catch up on proper news.

How long before we hear that our new bloke was in charge of Tenko...