rallyboy

Boris is currently stood in the commons, blustering, blaming others, mumbling, making up stuff and doing a good impression of a jovial stand-up on The Good Old Days. From his panto version of events, I'm not sure why anyone is worried, the UK is leading the world in every field of human endeavour. Which is nice.

We've shifted way more deadwood than I feared - despite the loan deals the wagebill must have improved dramatically. It's been a decent firesale.

There is nothing wrong with VAR, it's the way it's being utilised as the rules seem to shift slightly from week-to-week at the moment. Having one of the ref's mates sat there judging them doesn't help, he's not going to want to correct his buddies in public, so some shockers have been allowed to stand. In cricket they just give the correct call and don't worry about making the umpire look stupid. Perhaps our refs just aren't that good, at what is a difficult job.

It's all a distraction from the fact that he isn't really negotiating because he has no plan. He's just chatting vaguely and churning out soundbites to confuse the dim. It's a no deal circus.

Great to see Danny Wallace as well - that was a nice moment.

Probably best we send all the tickets back, sounds like no one will be going.

Beyond the smoke and mirrors, has anyone else noticed that there isn't any actual negotiating going on? The EU disbanded their team, though their concierge assures us that the doors are open. And we still haven't gone to them with any ideas or plans. Yet we still pretend that a deal can be done.

There will be no price hikes - man of the people Rees-Mogg has just promised cheaper food, clothes and footwear... He wouldn't lie to us, none of them would, they care about us.

Prowsie to get booked within ten minutes, charging around the pitch like a raging bull.

I hear lots of gobby people desperately engaging reverse.

Incredibly sad. This seems to be the result of complex leases and loans that prevent the ground from being included in any deal. No one in their right mind would take over the club and then be held ransom by random banks and individuals for use of the pitch. That issue will continue for Bury, I guess Gigg Lane could now be a target for developers if there is no covenant protecting it. With all due respect to them, if Bolton go too, that would be massive. Strange times.

If we can be the second-best team every week and win 2-0, I'll begrudgingly take that. I miss those games we dominate and lose.

I believe Merkel may have been demonstrating her infamous sense of humour - 'yes Boris, as one of the main architects of Brexit and a very vocal critic of the previous administration and the EU, I'm sure you wouldn't have entered into this three years ago just to line your own pockets, and without a detailed plan - so I look forward to seeing all your grand promises kept, and solutions unveiled, in the next 30 days'....

We're saving a few quid, he's going to get to play, and away from the pressure down here. Hopefully he can find his way back to being a decent keeper and we can get a nice fee. Win-win! Until he drops his first cross....

Nine men? Did pompey defenders get confused when some of them had no one to mark?? Bizarre. With Kenny Jackett taking over writing the comedy and producing plots like tonight, this thread is done.

I too was sent someone else's, which I didn't notice - mine arrived the day before the match.

Serial killers? Fred West was a bloody good builder, but all that everyone bangs on about is a few misdemeanours. Either way, he wasn't as bad as those grasses that stitched him up.

Yeah, all that scum that grassed up Savile and Glitter - then those lowlifes that gave evidence against Hindley, Sutcliffe and Fred West, I bet there's people who 'snitched' on the terrorists that plagued London too. Instead of being filthy 'grasses' let's all pretend to be crooked-nosed 1960s bankrobbers from Bethnal Green - a really cool look in a 2019 football stadium where someone is shouting racist abuse.

In this new era of technology it's a special kind of ref who can still have a shocker. Though in his defence, it must be difficult to concentrate with the VAR bloke constantly talking him through his appalling mistakes in real time. He didn't change the result, but he did everything he could.

Is Rupert still living in Kent? I'm sure that's what people shout at him every time he opens his mouth.

She could indeed turn into the dullest woman ever, banging on about seals and stuff. Whereas Banks has already demonstrated what he is. Rather than the guy who has set himself up to make a fortune from shafting the poor, a scenario he is doing everything to create, thinly-disguised as some empire drivel, I'll put up with the foreign woman in the sandals woven from her own hair, hassling me about straws, thanks.

He's just an ordinary guy on the street sticking it to the elite. And he seems to be having fantasies about teenage girls dying. A thoroughly unpleasant waste of bones and flesh.

South Today and Meridian News have both surrendered. National features cobbled together between thinly-disguised adverts for their own programmes, or dull stories about plucky pets. RIP local news.

Suggestions that people are incapable of communicating with others while driving. I'm horrified to discover that there are sections of the population that require 100% of their brain capacity to operate a car. Most people have plenty spare and can talk, think, listen to music etc. Get the thickos off the road.

Doesn't matter whether we play Gunn or McCarthy, they'll not have a save to make. Liverpool are a one man team - Stephens will have Salah in his pocket so we can then exploit their slow fullbacks and get crosses in to the middle of their defence where they're really weak. With about 75% possession we will definitely create chances. Boufal to get a hat trick in a lung-busting box-to-box MoM performance in the style of Roy Keane or Graeme Souness.