Lighthouse

The real life person who made writing The Ali G Show ridiculously easy.

If he goes to Leicester, which he won't, it'll be because they offered him a massive wedge of cash and nothing more. You don't go to Leicester to win big competitions. Playing in the Europa League, which they have a slim chance of sneaking into through the back door, wont advance his England career.

All Premier League clubs play in a top level competition. I get the need to stick to a familiar and consistent nucleus of players but all that means is that the same ones will be picked regularly with less interest in form fluctuations. It doesn't mean anyone from a smaller club can't get selected if they're consistently performing well.

I think the big club bias with England is more that sh*t players at big clubs DO get picked, rather than good players and smaller clubs not getting picked, see Calum Chambers, Danny Welbeck and Tom Cleverly for examples.

That would require Bournemouth outscoring them by at least 2, possibly 4 or 6 goals in the other two games.

I don’t think it changes a lot TBH. Forest go above if they win, then they just have to match Bournemouth in the final game. If Swansea had won, the only difference would be if Bournemouth- Forest was a draw, the permutations of the final game would be slightly different.

Ancelotti telling Pep, "we’re not so different, you and I."

Starting to feel a tad xenophobic if I'm honest. I've already banned a Scotsman, a Kenyan, a New Zealander, a Thai and an Indian. What do the rest of you reckon, shall we see how this 'new' persona plays out?

Wonderful to see an African American achieving so highly.

Suffice to say that had that been Lovren, we’d have a three page thread of people crying with laughter on the main board.

Whenever I see Joel ward or Phil Jones play, I always wonder how they aren't about 36 years old.

Well, there were the photos of Lukashenko standing in front of a large battle map which said, "invasion of Moldova, this way," and explaining it to a room full of high ranking generals. Very subtle but the clues are there.

Or they could f**k off and actually live in Russia, if it's really that important to them. Which it isn't.

Supplied without comment.

I’d still bet against it if I had to put money down. I think they’ll beat Watford and Brentford, pull off a jammy win somewhere else and stay up above Leeds.

So you expect us to achieve surprise results against teams above us and not lose to anyone around and below us, all with a team built on a Championship budget for the last 5 years?

Slightly less nauseating than every other Liverpool goal ever scored.

Lets bare in mind what some of our players achieved before we signed them: Walcott - Not wanted by bottom half Everton. Tella - Released from Arsenal’s academy. Stephens - Plymouth fans weren’t exactly gutted we’d nicked him. Long - Couldn’t get a start in the Championship last year, Bournemouth fans thought he was useless. Lyanco - Torino fans we’re glad to see the back of him. Bednarek - Looked pretty uninspiring for Poland U21s Redmond - Was an okay player in a Norwich team fighting relegation. Elyounoussi - Didn’t uproot any trees in the SPL McCarthy - Barely played for a pretty poor Palace team. A. Armstrong - Was quite a good Championship player. Nothing more. Adams - As above. KWP - Spurs fourth choice RB. Diallo - Decent enough player for a mediocre French team. Not exactly an all star cast are they.

Same day, different sh*t. Sounds like you aren’t getting enough fibre.

Likes on Instagram are more important than tweets, which having just checked I haven’t done since 2014. Although that didn’t stop our old friend ALWAYS deciding that @lighthouse must be me and sending a bunch of abuse to some random Korean guy.

I want Arsenal to get that fourth place. Or, more accurately, Spurs and United would be the most hilarious combination to miss out.

If he hadn’t ended a sentence on a preposition, Ekon Okereke would still be here.

We declared martial law last year in a bloodless coup d’état. TBH I can’t be bothered with infractions anymore, every single one just results in a boring PM from someone telling me to get a life.

You don’t get anything for a pair…

Hardly anyone does any serious business, it’s usually terrible value for money.