Lighthouse

Where on Earth have you got that from? For whatever reason we’ve supposedly given Forster one of, if not the, biggest contacts in the history of our club and it has represented pretty awful value for money. We can either find similar for much cheaper or better for a similar price. As for being free, well if we’re just going to scrabble around for free transfers and loans, like some League 1 club in administration, whilst everyone around us is spending £30m on new players, we might as well give up now. However, I’d like to hope our new owners have more ambition that simply treading water until we get relegated.

If we can’t find a better player than Forster for the same considerable wages he’s reportedly earning, then our scouts should pack up and go home.

He may well have score the hat trick but I don’t think they look as good a team with him in it. Sure, he’ll get goals by virtue of being one of the best players of all time, but it’s still a narrow win at home to Norwich for a team which could finish 7th/8th.

If Burnley are mental to get rid of Dyche, 15 points below us in the relegation zone, then we'd be two pencils up your nose and shout, "wibble!" To get rid of Ralph.

They must be steaming. 😆

What a fantastic endorsement of the striker on our books; sat here debating which one is the best at falling over if fouled.

That myth was busted a while back but it is always 4 goals or more (apart from the Leicester game it's always 5 or more).

He isn't good enough. Where shall we hook up?

Completely forgot Moi was on the pitch, until I saw him sat there.

Nice haircut Bednarek.

I didn't see a yellow and I don't think it should have been.

Oh Cedric, please never change.

'kin 'ell Valery.

Yep. Those photos may look like a pile of naked, raped corpses but if you look again from a different angle you realise it’s just a swingers party playing naked Twister.

Have I misunderstood this; Russia have launched missile attacks on Kyiv in retaliation for a technical malfunction on a ship?

Was there 20 minutes ago. Only have premium unleaded right now.

Must have Joe Root already lined up.

Who decided to put Anton Ferdinand on SSN. Sounds like he's (trying to) read the ingredients on a tin of Baxter's Soup.

Nope. The fire is out, apparently.

Isn't the Kuznetsov moored up somewhere undergoing a major refit? We should get 617 Squadron to drop a couple of Tallboys on it, like they did with the Tirpitz.

He's really gone all in on that 'Keira Knightley in Bend it Like Beckham' look.

Don’t forget, Mané and Pellè didn’t do winter whilst they were here.

He has kept his identity secret for a few years, how do you know?