Lighthouse

There are always the same two mistakes popping up in debates like this: 1. "We don't know this, there isn't any evidence." - No, there is evidence, you just haven't read about it in the Grauniad. As Batman says, military commanders in the area will know which ship was responsible, where is it and what the first mate had for breakfast. 2. "We're just as bad as them, it's our fault really." - Again, no. Whatever the Saudis, Israel and the great Tango Monster may get up to, Iran are worse. They are die hard religious fanatics who make no secret of their desire to wipe half of the west of the face of the Earth.

I knew you'd say that, it's kind of like saying I want Ralph out because he lost at home to Cardiff. They are right far more often than they are wrong. I don't see what the motivation is for the West to lie about this; after Iraq/Afghanistan/ISIS there really is no appetite for another Middle Eastern War. Iran on the other hand have a fanatical desire to wipe USA and Israel off the face of the planet (or at least that's what they wrote on the side of one of their prototype missiles).

Why not?

That's based on the supposition that the attacking ship left Iran perpendicular to the coast and intercepted the ship at a perfect trajectory, with precise timing. The attacking boat could have been trailing the ship for a while, or may have sailed out beyond the actually course of the ship and fired upon it when it passed between them and the Iranian coast. The ships could have changed course to avoid other shipping, stay in a particular lane, or to find a favourable current. I'm no naval expert but to say that attacking the right hand side proves anything seems extremely simplistic. I trust our intelligence and if people like Hunt are convinced it was Iran, that's good enough for me.

I don't think so and I believe there will be a lot of scrutiny on refs and the FA not to allow that. I'm not convinced there's a deliberate bias towards the big clubs, more of a subconscious intimidation. If Saints have a corner in front of the Kop End, it's easy for a ref to pretend he didn't notice a shirt pull and not have 50,000 Scousers screaming for blood. If he sees two or three replays and another official spots it too, that wont happen.

I didn’t mean it quite that literally but we were certainly robbed of the opening goal in a game we went 2-0 down in. I think a few minutes here and there checking VAR is worth it for moments like that.

Knock off £15m for Gabbi and probably a bit more for the Hoedt/Cedric/Boufal/Clasie/Davis/Carrillo loans. I'm not saying we're skint but it's hardly as if we've dug deep in our pockets either.

So you're saying the Saudis may have attacked a ship (which left their own port) hundreds of miles from their own coast but very close to Iran, as a false flag to escalate US/Iran tensions, in revenge for Iran backing Houthi rebels? The Saudis also believe that the US, who will be watching the region like a hawk, won't notice any of this?

Debating whether it’s a mine or a missile is one thing but who else do you think might have been responsible, if not Iran?

I think you would know 99% of the time whether you can go nuts or whether there's a dubious foul in the build up. It's not perfect but it will cut out many of the ridiculous decisions we've seen recently. With VAR we'd have a League Cup trophy in our cabinet.

I’m pretty sure there was also money involved in that which stopped us from going into admin for a few more months. It’s easy to criticise in hindsight but I think Lowe was just doing whatever it took to keep the club afloat. It’s not as if we were desperate for a keeper, he was just a makeweight. To think we used to believe Gaston was a poor signing when he cost £12m and ‘only’ got about 6 goals in his first season. He’d get our golden boot these days.

Comparisons to us are hardly valid, everyone looked good compared to what we achieved. After all their spending and big names, they finished 3 points above Palace. Whilst we can hardly laugh, it’s not like they actually achieved much.

I’m sure Anderson, Lanzini, Antonio, Yarmolenko, Nasri, Snodgrass and Wilshere will be delighted to have another AM in the squad.

I do remember someone saying McGuire was twice the player Stephens was, so I’d probably take £45m.

I don't have a problem with Valery being first choice but he is still young, inexperienced and 38 PL games is asking a lot physically and mentally. He will have injuries and patches of poor form, we need the option of resting and rotating him when needed. Ramsay is completely unproven and Stephens is awful as cover options. I just don't want to find us with a knock to Valery, playing a back four of Targett, Bednarek, Vestegaard and Ramsay. That's weak, inexperienced and we'd probably end up changing the whole system to enable a back five to cover our frailties.

In his appearances last season he generally looked decent when on the pitch. The problem I think is that as a team we looked lightweight in midfield when he was on the pitch and conceded a fair few goals. Watford and Newcastle away we just looked hopelessly overrun, which I'm not saying was 100% his fault but it wasn't a coincidence either.

I’d much rather have a sh*tty start with those home games than do what we did under MoPe, p*ss away all our easy home fixtures early on and claim we were doing well because we were 8th in October. Not that I think Ralph would have us playing that badly but I always prefer to get the bad news first.

I flippin' well hope we do. If we don't it leaves us with Valery and Targett as two inexperienced and not all that fantastic full backs with basically nothing in reserve except Vokins and Stephens.

Not a bad start, tough but winnable away games mixed with unlikely but you never know home games. Good to get Utd at home early, before they sack OGS and get someone decent in. Liverpool will come immediately after a midweek European Super Cup game against Chelsea, which might be a small distraction. Decent looking end to the season, although April looks a bit rough.

Middle of June and I've got the heating on.

Better than millions and millions and millions of pounds? Fonte wanted a big juicy contract and ended up at West Ham. Had he wanted to stay he wouldn't have given that nonsense interview about wanting to be nearer to his wife's family in London.

When comedy starts to believe it’s own hype and ends up parodying itself. A good example being Top Gear, which was funny in its early days but after a while you got the impression the script was just; Jeremy shouts, "power!!!" And breaks something, Hammond has a hissy fit and shouts, "oh Jeremy, you blithering idiot!" Whilst May just drives around going, "oh I’m captain slow, I got lost again, ha ha!" I think the Inbetweeners second movie was probably the worst example. They went from being misfits to being borderline mentally handicapped.

Basically my thinking, I don't really want any promoted sides in the first month. Wouldn't mind a game against post-Hazard Chelsea or even Arsenal, who are prone to the odd opening day howler.

He was never the backup to Pellè, he was the replacement and we got him in a few months early. Being our top scorer is no real boast either, not when he failed to make double figures in either of those seasons. 18 League goals in 3.5 seasons is pretty poor. He didn’t keep us up, we just wouldn’t have been fighting relegation if he’d been any good. At £4m he was worth a punt but he has been massively disappointing.

Redmond lacked confidence, under Puel and MoPe he looked like he didn't want to take a man on and often drifted around the sides, waiting for Bertrand or Cedric to overlap. Boufal has never lacked confidence, if anything he is guilty of trying to take on an entire team, or charge blindly into a disappearing space, only to lose the ball.