Lighthouse

Shhhh!! Don't mention that in front of Turkish. If you're not 18 stone, well 'ard and deal with your problems by 'ironing out' the other guy you're quite clearly a sad little virgin.

Indeed. Seing a Burnley player getting treated by a physio always gets me into an enraged fury, I can barely contain myself. So playground rules is it? How far are you willing to go with that? If you walk in on me sh*gging your missus is it alright if I'm wearing a Saints shirt at the time? Or does "no grassing" only apply if it's someone else who has been wronged and not you?

It's the same for Fernando Torres. Last time he scored, Princess Diana died the next day.

Or keep scoring until all of JLS are dead.

The difference being Pompey fans are sub human animals. I've got one I keep in the garden because it's just impossible to litter train.

There is a difference between some of the Japanese stereotypes being aimed at Tadanari Lee and implying a black person is a monkey. Jokes about killing whales, eating dogs and saying "oh reary!" are at worst silly and a bit tired. It's not actually abusing him, it's just upholding some long standing stereotypes about Japanese culture. You could say the same about the Americans being fat, French being stubborn, Scots being alcoholics, Welsh being sheep sh*ggers... basically every nationality or culture has stereotypes which are un-PC but on the whole completely harmless. Calling a black person a monkey is different. It's derogatory and implies they are sub human or animals, simply because of their appearance. There is also a long history of suffering, particularly amongst the African-American slave trade and the hundreds of years battling for equality which followed. I can't believe anyone can either support or justify this alleged incident. It's the kind of mindless neanderthal behaviour which died out in the '80s amongst anyone with half a brain cell and I'm embarassed it took that long.

What would you like people to say to him? How exactly do you see that conversation going? "Excuse me sir, but I couldn't help but notice you made a racial slur against one of Burnley's players. I disagree with you views on a moral level and believe you should rethink your views on racial equality" "Good heavens, I do believe you're right. I shall leave immediate, go home and rethink my life" At best you will probably get told to f**k off, at worst a good hard slap. The best bet is to report it to the club, who will deal with it as nescessary.

That's like saying my friend was killed in a car crash, so there really is no point in seat belts or air bags. FWIW the last time we used a sub 'keeper was Poke replacing Davis in a game at Wolves under Pearson. Would have been 2008 I guess. Vignal was sent off for nothing what so ever and we equalised with a corner with the last kick of the game.

Stuff that, he was looking at Rickie Lambert to take to Ukraine.

True, they have had a decent start to 2012 and will be no pushovers, but they haven't really had any tough fixture in that list. The only teams they've played in the top half were Saints (all over them until Lambert was s/o), Leeds (sh*te recently) and Leicester (the definition of inconsistency)

Saints, Wham, Cardiff, Brum, Reading, Blackpool, Hull and Leicester are all much better than Brighton. I can't see them being in the mix.

Amazing how Boro have dropped like a stone in recent weeks. I never thought they were that good anyway, but it shows how much can change in so little time. I think Reading and Wham will be our closest challengers. I'm not writing off Cardiff or Brum, but I don't see them being as strong. Not sure what it is about a great cup result which seems to derail some teams. 2 years ago Leeds were top, then knocked Man Utd out the Cup at OT and couldn't buy a win for weeks afterwards. Last year Brum were a mid table Prem team, won the League Cup and got relegated. Now Cardiff are in the final they have 1 point from 3 league games since. I'm not saying that form will extrapolate accross the rest of the season, but they've certainly had a bit of a hangover from the semi against Palace.

http://www.bigbustycoons.com Wow, those guys run some seriously good bus companies.

How often have we had to replace goal keepers during a match? Jones for Niemi in the cup final is the stand out one. There was Bart in that cup game at Newcastle and I think Poke replaced Davis in a game at Wolves a few years ago. They're the only 3 I can think of in 10 years of supporting Saints. Worth the risk? Depends how much faith you have in an outfield player to DAJFU. This 5 subs rule is sh*te. It completely f**ks everyone's youth team up the a*se and means you have to sacrifice someone like De Ridder or Chaplow just to keep a sub 'keeper on the bench. All done to satisfy clubs like Portsmouth who don't bother with a decent youth set up or can't scrape together 18 players on a match day. Why can't we just let them play with an empty bench.

I'll go for a compromise and say 'let's smash them a new one'. I'd stick with the same team apart from 2 changes. Puncheon and Hammond in for Guly and Schneiderlin. Would also like to see De Ridder and Chaplow on the bench.

[video=youtube;L-2GrwnBOUA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-2GrwnBOUA

Force India Ferrari Not sure even a mother could love that.

I suggest taking the law into your own hands Jill. Go around to his house and either steal the cats back or take garden furnature of similar value as a hostage. Seriously, trying to do this through the courts will cause a lot more grief and expense than £500.

Awesome stuff. Such a shame that it's pretty much the end of your career if you try something like that in any aircraft.

Obviously I'm looking at it purely from a selfish POV, sure it would be a right royal pain in the kahoolies for everyone else.

I would take a pp for this one actually. Now isn't really the time to be playing them, plus I might actually be able to get to the rearranged match.

Football fans being peppered with a bunch of kn*bbers is hardly news. We're as bad as each other, and most other sides in that respect. I don't think we should be quite as dismissive of Brum's style of play though. They certainly aren't hoofers and are a much tougher prospect than the team which didn't turn up at St Mary's a few months ago. On the other hand we can give anyone a game with the players we've got. With Lambert, Sharp, Puncheon and Lallana we've got danger all over the park. Plus they wont have a clue what Tadanari is about. I anticipate a tough but fascinating game, shame I'll be missing it. I'd take a draw, but I really couldn't call it either way.

Mainly down to injuries it has to be said. With injuries to Barnard and more recently Guly, not to mention Lambert's suspension, DC has been in the team pretty much by default. I can see that changing with Lambert, Sharp and Lee all back in the squad fully fit, with Barnard and Guly coming back to full fitness over the next few weeks too. I'd loan him out TBH, HCDAJF someone in League 1.

True, but a lot of fans from other teams said that about Lee Barnard last season. As unpleasant as it can be sometime, you need a player with a bit of a dirty streak in your team. If you constantly harass and irritate an opposition, they will lose patience and make mistakes. Miller definitely left his shooting boots in Cardiff though, some of his efforts on goal were comical. He should have had a hat trick really.

The MP4-27 Looks totally unremarkable, I dare say there will be a fair few differences to the car at the first testing session.