Secret Site Agent

Oh ****

I've been watching Fox sport. How patronising and wrong can the Yanks get? This is our Premiership debut, we just want to get next to a Man Citeh player and swop shirts, Man City is a fortress, Lambo on the bench is a mistake, as we don't have anyone to fill in. Goiung to watch sky sports. It's still patronising, but at least it's my sort of patronising.

I think 6m for JustMike is fair, but 11m for skintsaint is too much for someone without Premiership Experience.

I'd go back in time, Invent the DVD, Windows, the Ipod and Iphone, go forward in time, invest in genetics, go forward again until we have perfected cloning, go back in time, take genetic samples of the greatest players that ever lived, (you know, Bobby Moore, Messi, Le Tiss, Bestie, Becks, Keegan) create cloned children of them in 1992, sign them all to Saints in 2002, buy saints before Marcus, and then give them all their first team run out this year,Spend six weeks telling everyone on here that we are going to walk this league, record all those that beat me down, then let my cloned team of 20 year old's beat the crap out of everyone in this league, just to shut up the *****wits on this board,

She's got real hair and everything.

Good read, thanks for the link. A bit guarded though I reckon. But fair play to Nigel. In Nigel we trust.

What, again? Do i have to?

I'm such a goody-goody. Or i'm more cerebral in my infractions that I get away with it!

Are you admitting to be a fool, aintforever? Welcome to the nut house

Oh no, don't get me wrong. I'm all for a lively debate, but half of us have sacked him already based on this. And mentioned Harry in the same breath. His very name sends shivers down my back.

OK we're doing it again. 'NA aint signed no one. What's the matter with him, he knows we need a CB, but he just aint bothered to spend the cash.' The truth is quite simple: a) we don't know what players he is interested in, until they sign, or the manager makes upm stories about us tapping up their player, or they raise the price to 18 million b) we don;t know who we HAVE approached and failed to sign c) we don't know what deals are being done at the moment d) we don't really know what are strategy is this season, what our target is. e) we don't know if we're going to play the long game and wait until the January transfer window. f) we don't know what foreign players may be on the radar, either permenant of loanees. g) we don't know if Nigel has the cabability to manage in the Prem, but then again the likes of Sir Alec and Arsene weren't born in a test tube just to manage in the prem, everyone has to start somehow h) we don't know if Nigel will walk instead of being pushed. i) we don't know if Nicola has already given Nigel an ultimatum j) we don't know if the 'success factor' will dribble down to the players and give them the boost to actually compete at this level. k) we don't know the capabilities of the team. Judging them on a few pre-season games, where we constantly change the team and tactics, is like asking me to make a tower out of lego, mechano, straws, sand, bags of suger, then worry that I would have problems managing the construction of a new Tower block . l) Bookies are just stataticians that work on the basis of probably. There isn't one who would give you more than 2/1 on the toss of a coin, where as science tell us that the odds of tails is higher than heads, (53/47) and they wouldn't give you more than 7/1 on an accident happening on a certain day, where as collected data tells us we have more accidents on a Wednesday than any other day, and just like the theory why the bumblebee can fly, science just can't prove it. But bookies have to make sure they cover risk, and it's easier on paper to prove Nigel, than it is to prove Sir Alex, will be the first to go. So, based on the above above, how about we take this with a pinch of salt.

Yes, I just need Hypo, Alpine, shame no Dune, and Bitterne and I have afull set. Obviously you need a lesson in irony.

Why am I a fruitcake? What is wrong with putting my cards on the table, but being more direct than everyone else. We haven't kicked a ball yet and were already relegated, so why not just miss out on all the ups and downs, the false dawns. We wanted to be in the Prem, we are here, but we've all changed our minds haven't we? Why fight to stay here, where we don't belong. Back to the comfort of the lower leagues I say. I don't wnat to wait for us to build a team, I want success NOW. We aint going to get it here, so lets just drop back to where we desrve to be. I have no mental problem. It's the rest of the residents of the bubble.

I can't wait. Lets get this season over and get back to the Championship. More chances of winnig games, and coming top of the league this time, with £6 million + of a parachute payment, and a team to beat any in the second tier of English football. Yes, let's not even bother this season. Go to the bottom of the Premiership and lets stay there, then next season we can really let rip into some teams. Lots of 4 and 5 - nils for us next season. We don't belong here in the Prem, teams too lightweight, Manager has no experience in top flight, press don't think we can do it, and we have failed in the transfer market. Even our best players as past it. No, we don't belong here. We are just the pretenders of the Premiership. It'll be great to be back in the Championship. I can't wait for it. I wish we were already relegated.

We've been linked with ALL players, it's bound to be right sometimes

The streets of heaven are full of Angels, and one I believe has always been looking down on us, with a grin at the legacy he left. I believe that a Legend is when the man survives his death as his name lives on. As long as we have Marcus alongside Saints in our hearts, he will always live, in every success we have had, in the games we play, in the players, and in the fact we now have a team. People berated me for wanting a statue of him. I'll say it again. A statue of him, Smile in Hand, Saints Scarf around his neck, and Camera in hand.

Trouble is, people seem to forget that these are pre-season games and not ones we are going out to win, but to test the team, tactics, formation, individuals ont he fringe and experiment, plus as a training tool. That is why i give a 'meh' to us winning, losing or drawing these games, as if we were going out to win, we would have the difinitive first 11, not make so many substitutes AND give the team an incentive to win, like for every goal they score, they get a mars bar, For every game they win their wives/girlfriends will be released unharmed and for every goal scored against us, a little kitten dies.

Not forgetting that it is a waste of money to develop an acadamy when we can buy what we want for top dolla.

I have an old gold ring, it's a buckle ring and is about 120 years old. It belonged to my mother. My friend has a painting of a horse fair by Leo Whelan. My Aunt has a full collection of fine Bone China tableware with Silver cutlery. They are all worth money. Lots of money. And they all belonged to a parent that died. And we wouldn't sell for the world. I know that a football club, especially one recently purchased, is probably something different. But just because they are in business, doesn't mean they are heartless bastards just out to make a quick buck. Fulfilling the dream of a deceased parent for what must be a minor outlay for them, and the fact that they don't have to pump **** loads of money into the team, perhaps means more to his wife and children than another diamond encrusted backscratcher, © C.Montgomery Burns.

I had one about three weeks ago and for the entertainment of my daughter, I pretended to be deaf and daft. Him: Hello, my name is David. Me: Sorry, no David here. Him: No my name is David. Me: Whats that about DVD's Him: NO, my name is David. Me: (this is for those born in the 70's) And I'm Ian. And I wanna go straight, I wanna go straight, I'm sick and tired of taking up drugs and staying up late. Hahahaha, come on David, sing with me. Hello? Hello? Him: Who is your current energy provider? Me: Currency provider? I ususally go to the post office and change it there, but I haven't had a holiday in years. Him: Do you have any pets. Me: Pests? No no pests here. I had some ants once, but I think they came in from outside. Him: Can i interest you in any offers? Me: Offices? Why would I want to buy any offices. I can bearly avoid my mortgage as it is. Him: Who do you bank with? Me: Johnny Dankworth? Wasn't he married to Cleo Lane. Him: No, whose you bank. Me: Oh, sorry. Hows my back? Not too bad considering, still get a bit of a twinge.

Mine is Orange Broadband. I was originally with Tiskali, then Wanadoo, then Orange bought them out. First the broadband was slow, them stopped working. Rung and rung the Indian call centre and told no problem on the line. TGalked to BT and there was an issue, which BT sorted. Then had BBand for 6 weeks at 0.5 meg, then nothing. Samething with Indian call centre, reading from the script. Then asked for supervisors etc. NOTHING. Found a site with number for UK call centre, finally got to talk to someone with some sense, but no joy. BUT got back two month fees. Then told the problem may be the router, so sent a new router. Nothing Moaned again and got another month back. Got through to an escalation team, told me they were sending a better router, but had to upgrade my service. Sent me the paperwork, and I changed it to read, ' If Orange are unable to give uninterupted broadband service for 7 days, then this contract is null and void. Paid 11 quid tol get it notorised by Solicitor, and sent it of. Got new router, worked for free days, then nothing. Phoned up to cancel, told I couldn't, told them i could, told me I was signed up for 18 months, told them the contract I sent back was that it was on the basis of 7 days uninterupted. Told me I couldn't change it, told them I could, the woman really argued with me, and I asked to speak to a supervisor, which she said I couldn't. I asked for her name, and she said they weren't allowed to give it out, and if I didn't pay, she would county court me. So I hung up, redialed, spokie to someone else, who put me through to a supervisor, who not only told me the name of the woman I was just speaking to, went ovber and chastised her, then arranged for me to come out of my contract. I then went with BE broadband. But, it doesn't end there. A month after being with BE, orange takes a payment. I phone them up, get my money back. Next month Orange take another payment. I call the bank and cancel the direct debit. Phone Orange to get my money back. They say they can't as I Have cancelled the direct debit. I tell them I don't trust them to not take any money, so they arrange to send me a cheque, which duly arrives. Three months after leaving them, get a letter for non payment. Nothing month four or five. Month six, get a letter threatening court action over non payment of six month broadband. I rang them up and asked to be taken to County Court. I was offered easy payment terms, an offer of stopping proceedings and a warning that it would effect my credit rating and would be in the hands of debt collectors. I told them that I don't care, as BE Broadband had been supplying me with Broadband for six months, and we willing to give this evidence in court. They dropped the matter and sent a letter apologising. Then sent a letter the following month threatening court action. So I e-mailed the lot over, sent it in the registered mail, got a solicitor from Which magazine involved, BE publicity department sent an e-mail saying that they are happy to assist as they want to use it for PR purposes and I finally recieved another apology and a cheque for £60.00. It's been three years now, and I still expect them to want to take me to court.

You know, you can always vote with your feet and if NO-ONE uses Collesium, and only use Avensis & Princess, then they will be back in the frame, will be able to charge MUCH more money on the deal, and the price of season tickets, shirts etc. will go up. This is capitalism. You go out to tender, you may have a prefered bidder in mind, but if the other bloke can do it cheaper, you have to go with him. And as for keeping in with the local community, if NC came on here and said the official coach company was Avensis & Princess, but to subsidise the deal he would ahve to put £10.00 on all tickets, this thread would still exist, but would be about ripping off the fans, (and in Schrodingers universe, it probably does, and Pompey have paid all their debts, Saggy Chops regularly gives to Charity and is spearheading a campaign against corruption, the Green party are in power and Nick Illingsworth has a season ticket).

You know, you can always vote with your feet and if NO-ONE uses Collesium, and only use Avensis & Princess, then they will be back in the frame, will be able to charge MUCH more money on the deal, and the price of season tickets, shirts etc. will go up. This is capitalism. You go out to tender, you may have a prefered bidder in mind, but if the other bloke can do it cheaper, you have to go with him. And as for keeping in with the local community, if NC came on here and said the official coach company was Avensis & Princess, but to subsidise the deal he would ahve to put £10.00 on all tickets, this thread would still exist, but would be about ripping off the fans, (and in Schrodingers universe, it probably does, and Pompey have paid all their debts, Saggy Chops regularly gives to Charity and is spearheading a campaign against corruption, the Green party are in power and Nick Illingsworth has a season ticket).

I don't agree. I use Retarded every day, such as 'Retarded Binder' where the black tarmac stuff is stopped from fully going off by the addition of a solvent, or Concrete Retarder.

Oh, ****, I say that one. Going to be practicing removing it fro m my vocabulary. And I'm probably one of the funniest people you'll ever meet.