Top Gear

[St Landrew]

I'm not putting this into The Arts, because it has nothing to do with artistic merit. But then again, perhaps it has nothing to do Motoring. I suppose it has more to do with Motoring than Art, so here it is.

 

However, the spot on the programme I'm going to highlight is the electric car they built [or their back-room staff built for them], they called Geoff/Hammerhead. I've always p!ssed myself laughing at the slightly ridiculous, that's smartly done, and the fake tests they carried out on G/H had me coughing and spluttering, although the whole sketch was funny.

 

In particular, Hamster's oh my nose, oh my chest, in the crash test, was brilliant, especially when he got the timing slightly wrong and ended up speaking half of it as though breathing out helium. And the tuo hctaw [watch out run backwards] made me fall off the chair.

Yes, Top Gear is utterly pathetic, and nowadays is almost a parody of itself, but it's great.

 

Did anyone do the test on teletext afterwards..? What a complete saddo I was - 9/10 [and I only had go, before you comment]

[Ponty]

One thing bugged me; Why run an electric car with the lights on permanently?

 

Other than that, it actually raised a few sensible questions. Carrying a diesel generator, rather than powering the car by diesel itself, is actually a economical way of running on fossil fuels - if you don't mind a rather tepid top speed. It did out drag the GeeWizz, however. Mind you, I could do that without getting out of first, over 1/4 mile.

[Red Alert]

It saddened me to see such sloppy editing though. When the "exhaust" had come off and the car was filling with smoke in one scene it could clearly, blatantly be seen that Clarkson was holding a smoke machine. Anyone else notice that?

[Ponty]

It saddened me to see such sloppy editing though. When the "exhaust" had come off and the car was filling with smoke in one scene it could clearly, blatantly be seen that Clarkson was holding a smoke machine. Anyone else notice that?

 

I didn't notice, no, but it makes sense.

[Nineteen Canteen]

I use to enjoy Top Gear and as St Landrew points out it has (not almost) become a parody of itself. It's gotten all to formulaic same as the 'X Factor', 'I'm a celebrity', 'Big Brother', which I detest but my family love .Same old squabbles, same old predictable views, same old format. At least the electric car piece was something different than the norm in terms of ideas as Ponty points out but the usual stereotype of Mau being the 'boring engineer' and Clarkson being ' the bad at DIY and I'm so smart IO don't need to worry about such thing' and Hammond? Looked like he was testing for his next big commercial.

 

Even the star in a reasonably priced car is about as boring a piece of TV as Neighbours. I don't really care anymore and I think they need to change it and time to ditch 'Jeremy' I'm afraid.

 

Still my Sunday's were ruined when they moved Countryfile from 11am to 7pm. Where's the motivation at 7pm on a Sunday to go and enjoy the big outdoors? An example of change isn't always a good thing but CF did have many different reports with many different reporters none of which seemed steretyped into particular feature/piece.

 

I would like to see a retro Top Gear - more about the cool wall and the cars on it or otherwise . A nobody in a star car - some hoody plucked from the streets of Weybridge trying to tame the Corvette would have been more entertaining + a few different camera angles. A regular piece on motorsport would be good when you consider the crowds at a GP or the Festival of Speed and I'm not sure the BTCC are as popular as they were but nonetheless plenty of material and not to mention the classic car contingent. In short a Top Gear about cars!

[Ponty]

In short a Top Gear about cars!

 

Fifth Gear tried that and it's been axed for poor ratings. TG gets BBC's biggest global audience.

 

One of them has got it right for the current age of ratings wars.

[Sidney Fudpucker the 3rd]

It's ****! Never subscribed to all the staged events that occur in every episode. Their pathetic attempts to looked shocked when somebody damages a car they have on loan or something catches fire are the sort of thing you'd expect from Chucklevision.

[BadgerBadger]

Dear Top Gear

 

I'd like to complain about the outrageously placed young women (usually of the attractive variety) that you insist on putting in camera shot - they're always there and quite frankly have served only to distract me from my interest in cars and such like

 

Yours

Angry from Manchester

[Arizona]

Just watched the episode on iplayer having decided to watch House last night instead. I quite enjoyed it, but I'd agree with Landrew and 19C that it has become a silly parody of itself overall.

 

It's a shame because they have some great ideas with a lot of the stuff they do. It's a shame it is ruined by the terrible acting of the presenters and the almost slapstick way in which things go wrong.

 

Last week for example, the lorry backing into the Sandero and James pretending to be all upset. It was just terrible. The same this week with James 'accidentally' pulling onto the motorway and 'accidentally' leaving the handbrake off on the original Geoff.

 

I wish the producers would realise it's the things they DO that are funny and not the things they say. I'd like to see more stuff like last nights electric car, the attempt to get the reliant robin into space, the cross channel cars etc. but without the terrible acting.

[Nineteen Canteen]

Fifth Gear tried that and it's been axed for poor ratings. TG gets BBC's biggest global audience.

 

One of them has got it right for the current age of ratings wars.

 

I think Fifth Gear's problem was the presenters and the fact it was on Channel 5. I bet the Gadget show would be a good programme under the BBC umbrella. I don't want to turn it into 60 minutes of 'What Car' that would be boring but when they did the piece last series about cars for 17 year-olds my 16 year old son and I sat down to watch it for some hopeful suggestions and what did we get? May was the only one who tried to fill the brief and there is no reason why we couldn't have the funny stuff mixed with a bit of sport and perhaps a more serious piece each week. The guff in the news section and sycophantic interview from Clarkson in the star in a reasonably priced car could all be readily ditched they are both very embarrassing.

 

Clearly TG have it right in the ratings war and it can afford to get worse before those ratings start to slip significantly but IMO unless they shake it up a bit they are coming down off their peak. It used to be essential viewing and now I'll watch it if I'm around. Even the X-Factor has changed it's format a bit this year and if a dreadful and exploitive programme like that can recognise it needs a change Clarkson and Co are somewhat arrogant to stay with what they have.

[.comsaint]

Here's Autocar's article on it - lol.

 

http://www.autocar.co.uk/News/NewsArticle/AllCars/245199/

 

Whilst on the subject of Clarkson...

 

The enclosed article by Jeremy Clarkson was in this week's Sunday Times but has since been 'pulled' - probably by the subject of the article, Peter Mandelson. So much for free speech. But poor old manglebum fails to appreciate how the blogsphere works and in no time the article finds itself going viral round the world. Wonderful. Enjoy it - and feel free to pass it on if you did.....

 

Jeremy Clarkson

Sunday Times 8/11/09

I’ve given the matter a great deal of thought all week, and I’m afraid I’ve decided that it’s no good putting Peter Mandelson in a prison. I’m afraid he will have to be tied to the front of a van and driven round the country until he isn’t alive any more.

He announced last week that middle-class children will simply not be allowed into the country’s top universities even if they have 4,000 A-levels, because all the places will be taken by Albanians and guillemots and whatever other stupid bandwagon the conniving idiot has leapt

 

I hate Peter Mandelson. I hate his fondness for extremely pale blue jeans and I hate that preposterous moustache he used to sport in the days when he didn’t bother trying to cover up his left-wing fanaticism. I hate the way he quite literally lords it over us even though he’s resigned in disgrace twice, and now holds an important decision-making job for which he was not elected. Mostly, though, I hate him because his one-man war on the bright and the witty and the successful means that half my friends now seem to be taking leave of their senses.

 

There’s talk of emigration in the air. It’s everywhere I go. Parties. Work. In the supermarket. My daughter is working herself half to death to get good grades at GSCE and can’t see the point because she won’t be going to university, because she doesn’t have a beak or flippers or a qualification in washing windscreens at the lights. She wonders, often, why we don’t live in America .

 

Then you have the chaps and chapesses who can’t stand the constant raids on their wallets and their privacy. They can’t understand why they are taxed at 50% on their income and then taxed again for driving into the nation’s capital. They can’t understand what happened to the hunt for the weapons of mass destruction. They can’t understand anything. They see the Highway Wombles in those brand new 4x4s that they paid for, and they see the M4 bus lane and they see the speed cameras and the community support officers and they see the Albanians stealing their wheelbarrows and nothing can be done because it’s racist.

 

And they see Alistair Darling handing over £4,350 of their money to not sort out the banking crisis that he doesn’t understand because he’s a small-town solicitor, and they see the stupid war on drugs and the war on drink and the war on smoking and the war on hunting and the war on fun and the war on scientists and the obsession with the climate and the price of train fares soaring past £1,000 and the Guardian power-brokers getting uppity about one shot baboon and not uppity at all about all the dead soldiers in Afghanistan, and how they got rid of Blair only to find the lying twerp is now going to come back even more powerful than ever, and they think, “I’ve had enough of this. I’m off.”

 

It’s a lovely idea, to get out of this stupid, Fairtrade, Brown-stained, Mandelson-skewed, equal-opportunities, multicultural, carbon-neutral, trendily left, regionally assembled, big-government, trilingual, mosque-drenched, all-the-pigs-are-equal, property-is-theft hellhole and set up shop somewhere else. But where?

 

You can’t go to France because you need to complete 17 forms in triplicate every time you want to build a greenhouse, and you can’t go to Switzerland because you will be reported to your neighbours by the police and subsequently shot in the head if you don’t sweep your lawn properly, and you can’t go to Italy because you’ll soon tire of waking up in the morning to find a horse’s head in your bed because you forgot to give a man called Don a bundle of used notes for “organising” a plumber.

 

You can’t go to Australia because it’s full of things that will eat you, you can’t go to New Ze alan d because they don’t accept anyone who is more than 40 and you can’t go to Monte Carlo because they don’t accept anyone who has less than 40 mill. And you can’t go to Spain because you’re not called Del and you weren’t involved in the Walthamstow blag. And you can’t go to Germany ... because you just can’t.

 

The Caribbean sounds tempting, but there is no work, which means that one day, whether you like it or not, you’ll end up like all the other expats, with a nose like a burst beetroot, wondering if it’s okay to have a small sharpener at 10 in the morning. And, as I keep explaining to my daughter, we can’t go to America because if you catch a cold over there, the health system is designed in such a way that you end up without a house. Or dead.

 

Canada ’s full of people pretending to be French, South Africa ’s too risky, Russia ’s worse and everywhere else is too full of snow, too full of flies or too full of people who want to cut your head off on the internet. So you can dream all you like about upping sticks and moving to a country that doesn’t help itself to half of everything you earn and then spend the money it gets on bus lanes and advertisements about the dangers of salt. But wherever you go you’ll wind up an alcoholic or dead or bored or in a cellar, in an orange jumpsuit, gently wetting yourself on the web. All of these things are worse than being persecuted for eating a sandwich at the wheel.

 

I see no reason to be miserable. Yes, Britain now is worse than it’s been for decades, but the lunatics who’ve made it so ghastly are on their way out. Soon, they will be back in Hackney with their South African nuclear-free peace polenta. And instead the show will be run by a bloke whose dad has a wallpaper shop and possibly, terrifyingly, a twerp in Belgium whose fruitless game of hunt-the-WMD has netted him £15m on the lecture circuit.

 

So actually I do see a reason to be miserable. Which is why I think it’s a good idea to tie Peter Mandelson to a van. Such an act would be cruel and barbaric and inhuman. But it would at least cheer everyone up a bit. onto in the meantime.

Edited 23 November, 2009 by .comsaint

[St Landrew]

I'd like to see more stuff like last nights electric car, the attempt to get the reliant robin into space, the cross channel cars etc. but without the terrible acting.

 

I think that's pretty much the best thing I've seen them do, from the modern programme. It was only spoiled slightly by Clarkson's put-down afterwards. I only wish they'd go back and have another at getting that mission 100%. Superb TG TV.

 

[Nineteen Canteen]

Here's Autocar's article on it - lol.

 

http://www.autocar.co.uk/News/NewsArticle/AllCars/245199/

 

Whilst on the subject of Clarkson...

 

The enclosed article by Jeremy Clarkson was in this week's Sunday Times but has since been 'pulled' - probably by the subject of the article, Peter Mandelson. So much for free speech. But poor old manglebum fails to appreciate how the blogsphere works and in no time the article finds itself going viral round the world. Wonderful. Enjoy it - and feel free to pass it on if you did.....

 

Jeremy Clarkson

Sunday Times 8/11/09

I’ve given the matter a great deal of thought all week, and I’m afraid I’ve decided that it’s no good putting Peter Mandelson in a prison. I’m afraid he will have to be tied to the front of a van and driven round the country until he isn’t alive any more.

He announced last week that middle-class children will simply not be allowed into the country’s top universities even if they have 4,000 A-levels, because all the places will be taken by Albanians and guillemots and whatever other stupid bandwagon the conniving idiot has leapt

 

I hate Peter Mandelson. I hate his fondness for extremely pale blue jeans and I hate that preposterous moustache he used to sport in the days when he didn’t bother trying to cover up his left-wing fanaticism. I hate the way he quite literally lords it over us even though he’s resigned in disgrace twice, and now holds an important decision-making job for which he was not elected. Mostly, though, I hate him because his one-man war on the bright and the witty and the successful means that half my friends now seem to be taking leave of their senses.

 

There’s talk of emigration in the air. It’s everywhere I go. Parties. Work. In the supermarket. My daughter is working herself half to death to get good grades at GSCE and can’t see the point because she won’t be going to university, because she doesn’t have a beak or flippers or a qualification in washing windscreens at the lights. She wonders, often, why we don’t live in America .

 

Then you have the chaps and chapesses who can’t stand the constant raids on their wallets and their privacy. They can’t understand why they are taxed at 50% on their income and then taxed again for driving into the nation’s capital. They can’t understand what happened to the hunt for the weapons of mass destruction. They can’t understand anything. They see the Highway Wombles in those brand new 4x4s that they paid for, and they see the M4 bus lane and they see the speed cameras and the community support officers and they see the Albanians stealing their wheelbarrows and nothing can be done because it’s racist.

 

And they see Alistair Darling handing over £4,350 of their money to not sort out the banking crisis that he doesn’t understand because he’s a small-town solicitor, and they see the stupid war on drugs and the war on drink and the war on smoking and the war on hunting and the war on fun and the war on scientists and the obsession with the climate and the price of train fares soaring past £1,000 and the Guardian power-brokers getting uppity about one shot baboon and not uppity at all about all the dead soldiers in Afghanistan, and how they got rid of Blair only to find the lying twerp is now going to come back even more powerful than ever, and they think, “I’ve had enough of this. I’m off.”

 

It’s a lovely idea, to get out of this stupid, Fairtrade, Brown-stained, Mandelson-skewed, equal-opportunities, multicultural, carbon-neutral, trendily left, regionally assembled, big-government, trilingual, mosque-drenched, all-the-pigs-are-equal, property-is-theft hellhole and set up shop somewhere else. But where?

 

You can’t go to France because you need to complete 17 forms in triplicate every time you want to build a greenhouse, and you can’t go to Switzerland because you will be reported to your neighbours by the police and subsequently shot in the head if you don’t sweep your lawn properly, and you can’t go to Italy because you’ll soon tire of waking up in the morning to find a horse’s head in your bed because you forgot to give a man called Don a bundle of used notes for “organising” a plumber.

 

You can’t go to Australia because it’s full of things that will eat you, you can’t go to New Ze alan d because they don’t accept anyone who is more than 40 and you can’t go to Monte Carlo because they don’t accept anyone who has less than 40 mill. And you can’t go to Spain because you’re not called Del and you weren’t involved in the Walthamstow blag. And you can’t go to Germany ... because you just can’t.

 

The Caribbean sounds tempting, but there is no work, which means that one day, whether you like it or not, you’ll end up like all the other expats, with a nose like a burst beetroot, wondering if it’s okay to have a small sharpener at 10 in the morning. And, as I keep explaining to my daughter, we can’t go to America because if you catch a cold over there, the health system is designed in such a way that you end up without a house. Or dead.

 

Canada ’s full of people pretending to be French, South Africa ’s too risky, Russia ’s worse and everywhere else is too full of snow, too full of flies or too full of people who want to cut your head off on the internet. So you can dream all you like about upping sticks and moving to a country that doesn’t help itself to half of everything you earn and then spend the money it gets on bus lanes and advertisements about the dangers of salt. But wherever you go you’ll wind up an alcoholic or dead or bored or in a cellar, in an orange jumpsuit, gently wetting yourself on the web. All of these things are worse than being persecuted for eating a sandwich at the wheel.

 

I see no reason to be miserable. Yes, Britain now is worse than it’s been for decades, but the lunatics who’ve made it so ghastly are on their way out. Soon, they will be back in Hackney with their South African nuclear-free peace polenta. And instead the show will be run by a bloke whose dad has a wallpaper shop and possibly, terrifyingly, a twerp in Belgium whose fruitless game of hunt-the-WMD has netted him £15m on the lecture circuit.

 

So actually I do see a reason to be miserable. Which is why I think it’s a good idea to tie Peter Mandelson to a van. Such an act would be cruel and barbaric and inhuman. But it would at least cheer everyone up a bit. onto in the meantime.

 

Pretty much the same as every article Clarkson writes. Do you think Clarkson will be any different after Cameron slides himself into power? The man is a parody of himself and to criticise Mandelson on his choice of jeans when Clarkson where's nothing but jeans is ironic and who is the sadder on that score?

 

I have no lefty agenda or right for that matter but Clarkson's ramblings get more absurd as he probably has increasing difficulty in topping his previous fare. He is less funny than Ian Hislop but they share the same smugness.

 

Anyway since the disgrace of 'Janesgate' I have refused to buy the Times because it clearly was just a Sun for people with a qualification. So surprise surprise I have defected to the Guardian and Observer and off the recommendation of someone who probably has a major dislike of me for my views but as always I'll listen to anyone regardless of opinion provided some acknowledgement in the alternative is shown. So Duncan thanks for the tip about the paper - so far so good - not that he'll read it here - he only found the lounge about a month ago when his thread was moved from the main forum.

[gaz]

Unfortunately, TG these days is painfully scripted. Funny stuff that happened in earlier series was funny. Funny stuff ''happening'' in middle and later series isn't funny.

 

It seems like the show is written for Audi-driving junior and middle management, who want to stay in touch with youth by recalling Sundays show as they walk into the office on the Monday. The type that goes ''Corr, a Konigsegg/Lambo/Pagani'', the type that live on Piston Heads. Actually, thinking about it, its PH in telly format.

 

Its an entertainment programme and thats all it can be viewed for.

[Patrick Bateman]

I use to enjoy Top Gear and as St Landrew points out it has (not almost) become a parody of itself. It's gotten all to formulaic same as the 'X Factor', 'I'm a celebrity', 'Big Brother', which I detest but my family love .Same old squabbles, same old predictable views, same old format. ...................... !

 

Do you like 'Grumpy Old Men'? I have visions of you sat in a high, wing-backed chair, with slippers, in a dressing gown, complaining about every TV programme on air whilst your poor family all sigh and tut at you

 

In all seriousness, I agree that most TV is complete rubbish, awful in fact. I enjoy the news but I will admit after a day in the office, it's acceptable to cook, clean the house, walk the dogs and then sit down to watch mind-numbing rubbish on TV for an hour or 2 to unwind. So I guess that's the purpose?

 

On the subject of the thread; I thought Top Gear wasn't as funny this week. I laughed at the Dacia being presented, but that's it - I was actually more interested in Romania having gone there in 1994 to see how much it had changed.

[SNSUN]

Top Gear has become immensely popular because it veered away from seriousness and into entertainment. New viewers were sucked in, not by cars but because it makes people laugh.

 

Granted it is two fingers up to the real motoring fans, but for entertainment value alone, it is gold and a must watch in the SNSUN house.

 

On a side note, if Top Gear ever got axed, I'd still like to see the three chaps team up and just make a series revolving around travelling and challenges.

[Johnny Bognor]

On the subject of the thread; I thought Top Gear wasn't as funny this week. I laughed at the Dacia being presented, but that's it - I was actually more interested in Romania having gone there in 1994 to see how much it had changed.

 

Didn't you go in 2003???

[Nineteen Canteen]

Do you like 'Grumpy Old Men'? I have visions of you sat in a high, wing-backed chair, with slippers, in a dressing gown, complaining about every TV programme on air whilst your poor family all sigh and tut at you

 

QUOTE]

 

Grumpy Old Men - a programme for the likes of Arthur Smith, Rick Wakeman, Will Self and oh yes Jeremy Clarkson!

 

Dressing gown? More smoking jacket and I sit there and get very very drunk - more Paul Whitehouse than Grumpy Old Men.

 

You're right on one thing though I have been banned form the lounge when X Factor and any other reality TV guff is on. I can't help myself spewing my bile towards the lazines of the TV companies who hit on an idea and then milk it to it's death. Big Brother and I'm a Celebrity being two cases in point both programmes were compulsive viewing for the first 2 or 3 series, but now?

 

The thing I hate about X-Factor is the exploitation in the early shows of people who in some cases need protection from making themselves the subject of the most public humiliation and yet the shows producers put them in front of the judges as genuine candidates? How many middle of the road singers do you get to see. I was told once that contestants go through 4 or 5 auditions before they get to the judges so when they put forward the truly awful and at times people with perhaps learning difficulties is that comfortable viewing?

 

Our programming has declined because of the perceived need for ratings (BBC), competition from Sateliite broadcasters and the decline in advertising revenue and the need for £1-50 per second phone in competitions.

 

The BBC can still do good drama, documentry and comedy with the likes of Spooks, Dr Who, Life and Gavin & Stacey for example but ITV is in terminal decline with a diet of soaps and reality TV, C4 only worthy of watching if they have a decent US series running and C5 is and always has been a joke IMO.

 

Without sounding to much like my parents but when we just had the 3 or 4 channels we always seemingly had something to watch from serious TV through to trashy (light entertainment) now with just the channels on freeview it seems to me in a diet of reality rubbish, cops with cameras and many variations and endless repeats there is rarely anything worth watching during prime time. Channel 80 BBC News is a godsend at times but DAB is even better.

[Patrick Bateman]

 

You're right on one thing though I have been banned form the lounge when X Factor and any other reality TV guff is on. I can't help myself spewing my bile towards the lazines of the TV companies who hit on an idea and then milk it to it's death. Big Brother and I'm a Celebrity being two cases in point both programmes were compulsive viewing for the first 2 or 3 series, but now?

 

Totally agree - I watched the first couple of Big Brother shows, but now they are dull, tedious and dare I say it, even more dumbed down than before, if that's possible?

 

 

The thing I hate about X-Factor is the exploitation in the early shows of people who in some cases need protection from making themselves the subject of the most public humiliation and yet the shows producers put them in front of the judges as genuine candidates? How many middle of the road singers do you get to see. I was told once that contestants go through 4 or 5 auditions before they get to the judges so when they put forward the truly awful and at times people with perhaps learning difficulties is that comfortable viewing?

 

I don't mind X Factor if I'm in and don't fancy a film - but what does annoy me is the fact that (you can stick 'apparently' in this sentence if you wish) they audition all the contestants before they are auditioned in front of Simon etc. The TV crew pick the best and worst contestents and anyone who won't make decent TV viewing doesn't get through.

I have no idea if this is true or not, but I can imagine it is and therefore makes more of a mockery of the program.

 

 

Without sounding to much like my parents but when we just had the 3 or 4 channels we always seemingly had something to watch from serious TV through to trashy (light entertainment) now with just the channels on freeview it seems to me in a diet of reality rubbish, cops with cameras and many variations and endless repeats there is rarely anything worth watching during prime time. Channel 80 BBC News is a godsend at times but DAB is even better.

 

I know what you're saying, I guess you can replace X Factor with Noel's House Party? Either way, they are still intended as family entertainment, which is fine, but what bothers me is the silly bickering and the way it's all acted out.

[Bud Fox]

 

 

I don't mind X Factor if I'm in and don't fancy a film - but what does annoy me is the fact that (you can stick 'apparently' in this sentence if you wish) they audition all the contestants before they are auditioned in front of Simon etc. The TV crew pick the best and worst contestents and anyone who won't make decent TV viewing doesn't get through.

I have no idea if this is true or not, but I can imagine it is and therefore makes more of a mockery of the program.

 

 

 

 

 

Tis true, a BBC reporter auditioned this year, you have to pass two auditions before you get in front the judges.

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8209429.stm

[Son of Bob]

Top Gear has slowly become further and further detached from the real motoring world with each series. It is still very entertaining but it should be shown on the BBC alongside another motoring program which takes itslef a bit more seriously.

 

I personally thought 5th gear was great as it managed to combine 'proper motoring' with a bit of fun.

[Nineteen Canteen]

Top Gear has slowly become further and further detached from the real motoring world with each series. It is still very entertaining but it should be shown on the BBC alongside another motoring program which takes itslef a bit more seriously.

 

I personally thought 5th gear was great as it managed to combine 'proper motoring' with a bit of fun.

 

I agree - if you could take the best bits from both you could get the programme back on track and TG could benefit from having VBH as a presenter to get away from it's misogynistic image. Bring in Tiff and VBH drop limelight hogging steroetypical Clarkson and the stale joke of Stig and away we go.

[Arizona]

I think the Stig is the only presenter, if you can call him that, which is still funny.

 

If I was going to make a presenter chance, in an ideal world, it would be Martin Brundle in for Richard Hammond. I know Brundle is often off around the globe with F1, but providing they didn't film the shows (which are filmed on a Wednesday) during the 4 or 5 weeks a year when the Australian, Malaysia, Chinese, Japanese and Singapore races are on, it wouldn't be much of a problem.

 

Hammond is too daytime TV IMO. Might aswell have Phillip Schofield and Fern Britton presenting.

 

I saw an old episode on Dave today (I'm on stanby for work, don't hate me) which had a race to find the fastest evil ruler of the universe, with Ming the Merciless, Darth Vader etc. It was original and quite amusing, I'd like to see more stuff like it.

 

As well as power laps I also reckon they schould race some novelty vehicles round the track. A hearse, a tractor, a combine harvester, a hovercraft, a milk float, man on a bike etc.

[St Landrew]

I agree - if you could take the best bits from both you could get the programme back on track and TG could benefit from having VBH as a presenter to get away from it's misogynistic image. Bring in Tiff and VBH drop limelight hogging steroetypical Clarkson and the stale joke of Stig and away we go.

 

Jeez, no offence NC, but I can't stand that smug little Vicki Butler-Henderson. She was dropped from Top Gear just as I was about to write to the Beeb, crying enough of her. She has that one trick of widening her eyes when she is about to exclaim something we all knew anyway. No thanks. Tiff's a bit smug nowadays as well. In fact they're all a bit too smug except for James May, and he's getting that way.

 

Is it because they're all having far too much fun, and getting paid well for it too..? :mad:

 

Err, the joke of The Stig has many good miles to go, IMO. At least he's not smug. Mind you, we wouldn't know even if he was.

 

http://widgets.nbc.com/o/4727a250e66f9723/4b0d946a2c924efb/4727a250e66f9723/6c49049d/-cpid/bf8e4f2a82f453d0

Edited 25 November, 2009 by St Landrew

[Nineteen Canteen]

Jeez, no offence NC, but I can't stand that smug little Vicki Butler-Henderson. She was dropped from Top Gear just as I was about to write to the Beeb, crying enough of her. She has that one trick of widening her eyes when she is about to exclaim something we all knew anyway. No thanks. Tiff's a bit smug nowadays as well. In fact they're all a bit too smug except for James May, and he's getting that way.

 

Is it because they're all having far too much fun, and getting paid well for it too..? :mad:

 

Err, the joke of The Stig has many good miles to go, IMO. At least he's not smug. Mind you, we wouldn't know even if he was.

 

http://widgets.nbc.com/o/4727a250e66f9723/4b0d946a2c924efb/4727a250e66f9723/6c49049d/-cpid/bf8e4f2a82f453d0

 

Trouble is VBH is the only presenter I can think of with any credibility when it comes to cars other than Penny Mallory who has a face for radio not to mention a bit of primary school teacher attitude IMO. Presenters will always come down to personal choice, one man's meat and all that..

 

Stig was ruined with the lame Schmacher sycophantic reveal. Personally, I would prefer to see Tiff do the fastest lap in the feature cars and the in car commentary to go with it. They are getting paid for it and so lets see the real fun when they try these cars out that most of us can only dream of driving. Either that put the Star in the expensively priced Veyron!

[Patrick Bateman]

Trouble is VBH is the only presenter I can think of with any credibility when it comes to cars other than Penny Mallory who has a face for radio not to mention a bit of primary school teacher attitude IMO. Presenters will always come down to personal choice, one man's meat and all that..

 

Stig was ruined with the lame Schmacher sycophantic reveal. Personally, I would prefer to see Tiff do the fastest lap in the feature cars and the in car commentary to go with it. They are getting paid for it and so lets see the real fun when they try these cars out that most of us can only dream of driving. Either that put the Star in the expensively priced Veyron!

 

Now that I'd love to see! However judging by the driving standards of most of the "stars", I can see a fair number of Veyrons being trashed

[Pancake]

There is a place for both TG and FG. Looking forward to the next FG series.

[Patrick Bateman]

There is a place for both TG and FG. Looking forward to the next FG series.

 

Totally agree!!

 

Top Gear for general entertainment and titting around with motorised vehicles and Fifth Gear (or a Fifth Gear-esque program) that deals with facts and normal cars that normal people drive. I am actually interested in whether the new Mondeo is better than the new Vectra and whether the up and coming Toyota FT86 will be as good fun as it looks like it'll be etc.

[Nineteen Canteen]

Totally agree!!

 

Top Gear for general entertainment and titting around with motorised vehicles and Fifth Gear (or a Fifth Gear-esque program) that deals with facts and normal cars that normal people drive. I am actually interested in whether the new Mondeo is better than the new Vectra and whether the up and coming Toyota FT86 will be as good fun as it looks like it'll be etc.

 

The Mazda 6 IMO is better than both and Ford have just put up their prices again. The Mondeo is huge but if you want a car that big for less money and better equipment the Skoda Superb is superb apart from the dodgy name.

 

Put May in charge of a 5th gear-esque programme with Tiff and send VBH to the misogynist Clarkson and the generalist and dull Hammond. Put TG on BBC1 and take 5th Gear from the murky waters of 5 to BBC2.

[Johnny Bognor]

Put May in charge of a 5th gear-esque programme with Tiff and send VBH to the misogynist Clarkson and the generalist and dull Hammond. Put TG on BBC1 and take 5th Gear from the murky waters of 5 to BBC2.

 

May doesn't have enough motoring cred IMO (I could beat him driving a Veyron round a track in a bloody milk float).

 

As for his journalistic credentials, he was sacked from Autocar for this: )

 

Even Clarkson wouldn't be that unprofessional.

 

Tiff has enough personality and the driving credibility to front any car show. Agree with the comment about Brundle earlier.

[.comsaint]

... and Ford have just put up their prices again...

 

Yeah - for the 4th time this year!!! Luckily I ordered my new Fiesta Titanium before the last increase AND this latest one.

[Ponty]

There is a place for both TG and FG. Looking forward to the next FG series.

Unless there's been a big change of heart at Channel 5 there is no next series of FG as it failed to break into their top ten domestic shows in terms of ratings and was axed.

[Pancake]

Unless there's been a big change of heart at Channel 5 there is no next series of FG as it failed to break into their top ten domestic shows in terms of ratings and was axed.

 

The official FG twitter said it was back with a new series in 2010.

[Ponty]

The official FG twitter said it was back with a new series in 2010.

Good stuff. It's no TG but it's better than most weekday evening offerings.

[Arizona]

I'm only on Twitter to follow the F1 teams and drivers. Juan Pablo Montoya has the most incredible collection of remote controlled aircraft I've ever seen.

[Pancake]

Good stuff. It's no TG but it's better than most weekday evening offerings.

 

Saying that, I just asked Johnny Smith (Fifth Gear presenter) on Twitter and he said it's still up in the air at the moment.... Meh.

[Johnny Bognor]

One of my favourite Top Gear reviews....Clarkson vs Tiff

 

[Ponty]

I see Tiff Needell and VBH join Clarkson on his latest DVD release, Duel.

[Red Alert]

Isn't 5th gear not made for the Dave channel these days?

[gaz]

Nope, still for Five.

 

I'm rather shocked that TG is currently showing a piece about cars. Whats the world coming to?

[gaz]

Hmm, spoke too soon. Its now a farce

[Arizona]

I actually think tonight's episode is pretty good so far. Funny and the bits about the Lambo and Lancier's are quite interesting.

 

I know I complain about the slapstick element, but the piano landing on the MM is still funny.

[Johnny Bognor]

WTF is a hands free doing in that Lambo :mad::mad:

 

You don't need a phone in a car like that, it gets in the way of the symphony produced by that V10.

 

Sacriledge if you ask me.

[Arizona]

Ah, Chris Evans, they ruined it.

[St Landrew]

Watched tonight's [yesterday's, not 22-11-09] edition on iPlayer, and oh lordy, oh bloody hell, there's two of my favourite cars on there. The Lancia Stratos and the Integrale. And The Stig did that lap in the kit car Stratos with the most awesome [

 

Apart from that, it was all rather iffy entertainment. Another I don't care because today I operated the clutch on the 1964 Honda 250 cc RC164 4-cylinder DOHC racing motorcycle, ridden by Mike Hailwood to one of his World Championships. Which makes it Mike Hailwood, his mechanic, a few others and Me who have done that. It felt a bit special. I would have liked to have seen the Honda 250 Six from that era too, but settled for drooling over a Vincent Black Shadow.

 

Despite the rain, today [yesterday] was fun.

[JackFrost]

Watched tonight's [yesterday's, not 22-11-09] edition on iPlayer, and oh lordy, oh bloody hell, there's two of my favourite cars on there. The Lancia Stratos and the Integrale. And The Stig did that lap in the kit car Stratos with the most awesome [

 

Apart from that, it was all rather iffy entertainment. Another I don't care because today I operated the clutch on the 1964 Honda 250 cc RC164 4-cylinder DOHC racing motorcycle, ridden by Mike Hailwood to one of his World Championships. Which makes it Mike Hailwood, his mechanic, a few others and Me who have done that. It felt a bit special. I would have liked to have seen the Honda 250 Six from that era too, but settled for drooling over a Vincent Black Shadow.

 

Despite the rain, today [yesterday] was fun.

 

I was lucky enough to co-own a Lancia Delta Integrale many years ago. (we got it in '93 I think). It was only that my housemate was a skilled mechanic we bought one. Went like stink and the noise it made under hard acceleration sent shivers down your spine. It did develop quite a few niggly faults although nothing to the extent of e.g. bonnets flying off (thought that part of TG got a bit irritating)

 

Best car I've ever owned.

[St Landrew]

Last night's edition of TG [06-12-09] was quite simply, pathetic. Clarkson deliberately banged a Renault Twingo Sport around to the point where it was a write-off. There was airport support vehicle racing, and Guy Ritchie. Forgive me, but I find the current fetish for damaging perfectly sound vehicles actually quite sickening. Only an idiot, with no sense of value and of the engineering and design, would perform such a demonstration. Basically, the programme has become a thug, and I say this, in full aknowledgement of my laughing out loud at it only a few weeks ago.

 

And when is someone going to road test a vehicle where they look under the bonnet, showing the engine, [optional] home service points, test the mpg properly, as well as the acceleration and top speed, explore the handling and comfort and practicality, relative kindness to the environment, costs of ownership, etc.. and make a valued judgement on the vehicle, relative to its price and depreciation, that can be relied upon..? Because there isn't a programme out there anymore that does this, and actually hasn't been for donkey's ages, whatever you think of the merits of 5th Gear. And let's have some bloody motorbikes properly tested too.

[Ponty]

Last night's edition of TG [06-12-09] was quite simply, pathetic. Clarkson deliberately banged a Renault Twingo Sport around to the point where it was a write-off. There was airport support vehicle racing, and Guy Ritchie. Forgive me, but I find the current fetish for damaging perfectly sound vehicles actually quite sickening. Only an idiot, with no sense of value and of the engineering and design, would perform such a demonstration. Basically, the programme has become a thug, and I say this, in full aknowledgement of my laughing out loud at it only a few weeks ago.

 

And when is someone going to road test a vehicle where they look under the bonnet, showing the engine, [optional] home service points, test the mpg properly, as well as the acceleration and top speed, explore the handling and comfort and practicality, relative kindness to the environment, costs of ownership, etc.. and make a valued judgement on the vehicle, relative to its price and depreciation, that can be relied upon..? Because there isn't a programme out there anymore that does this, and actually hasn't been for donkey's ages, whatever you think of the merits of 5th Gear. And let's have some bloody motorbikes properly tested too.

If you want motorbike testing watch the MCN website video reviews, mate. They're pretty good.

 

I thought the Twingo came out of that looking pretty good. Fairly robust for a little car, pretty and handled like a dream. I'd consider one as the second car if they raised our discount a tad.

 

All in all a pretty poor TG though, can't argue with that.

[St Landrew]

If you want motorbike testing watch the MCN website video reviews, mate. They're pretty good.

 

Ssssh..! I do.

[Patrick Bateman]

If you want motorbike testing watch the MCN website video reviews, mate. They're pretty good.

 

I thought the Twingo came out of that looking pretty good. Fairly robust for a little car, pretty and handled like a dream. I'd consider one as the second car if they raised our discount a tad.

 

All in all a pretty poor TG though, can't argue with that.

 

Last night's show was awful, really awful. I know they "ran out of time to film anything decent" for this series but it really did show.

 

The piece with the Twingo was stupid, but, I do like that car - would be perfect as a town run-a-round!

Ponty ... you may become my new best friend