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Acceptable pub etiquette


TopGun
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Oh dear... back to horrible pub lager, pork scratchings and farting competitions then. Being a tight git I refuse to pay for bottled lager unless it's a special occasion and I just can't drink bitter all night.

Edited by TopGun
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Oh dear... back to horrible pub lager, pork scratchings and farting competitions then. Being a tight git I refuse to pay for bottled lager unless it's a special occasion and I just can't drink bitter all night.

 

White wine isn't cheap in the pub though........is it ????? :smt102

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No, it's a misguided principle thing with the bottled lager I guess.

 

At the end of the day, you drink what you want mate. If you've got the balls to stand there and drink white wine while all your mates are drinking beer, fair play to you.

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Guest Dark Sotonic Mills

There's nowt wrong with drinking white wine, just not if you're a bloke in a pub. Usually because the wine is pants. Drink a decent Chablis or Sancerre at home, no problem.

 

PS. If you can't drink beer all night what's wrong with drinking shorts?

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Acceptable. People who complain that other people are drinking something different to themselves are usually fascists.

 

Poor pub etiquette includes:

 

- If you are male, following your friends into the loo. Unless they are female of course.

 

- Putting loads of coins onto the pool table and expecting it to be your go time and time again.

 

- Insisting on "winner stays on" even if nobody else in the pub wants to.

 

- Putting Meatloaf on the jukebox, or any other crap that lasts 20 minutes.

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Acceptable. People who complain that other people are drinking something different to themselves are usually fascists.

 

Poor pub etiquette includes:

 

- If you are male, following your friends into the loo. Unless they are female of course.

 

- Putting loads of coins onto the pool table and expecting it to be your go time and time again.

 

- Insisting on "winner stays on" even if nobody else in the pub wants to.

 

- Putting Meatloaf on the jukebox, or any other crap that lasts 20 minutes.

 

You can add as well:

 

- Someone in the group downing their drink and saying lets move on when others are still finishing up.

 

 

No to the wine drinking I'm afraid. We've been conditioned to not drink it in a pub!

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- Couples buying a round between them. This is confounded when they still expect to be bought individual drinks by everyone else.

 

- The designated driver accepting cokes all night until its their round and then saying, 'I'm not getting a round, because I'm only drinking coke.'

 

- Running out of money, or leaving before getting your round in.

 

- Sitting in the prime TV viewing seats when you have no intention of watching it. Ladies, this one is aimed at you.

 

- Sitting on large tables when there are only 2 of you.

 

- Asking for a clean glass.

 

- Taking a laptop to the pub.

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On a busy Saturday night...

 

- 3 or more people crowding round the bar when only one is ordering the drinks

 

- remaining propped against the bar to drink while massive queues build behind you

 

- ordering a massive round, only to take a chance on a debit card that 'may not work'. Go to the ****ing cash point!

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Pub toilet etiquette is serious business too...

 

1st in? Go to urinal/part of trough furthest from door.

2nd in? Go to urinal nearest to door.

3rd in? Stop at urinal equidistant between the two occupied

 

etc.

 

Never, under any circumstances, come and stand next to me when urinals further away are free.

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- The designated driver accepting cokes all night until its their round and then saying, 'I'm not getting a round, because I'm only drinking coke.'

 

That is acceptable. The driver is doing me a favour in staying sober and taking me home. The cokes are just a gratuity.

 

How long is it acceptable to stare at another man's penis at the urinals? IMO, it becomes an uncomfortable situation after 2 minutes.

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Pub toilet etiquette is serious business too...

 

1st in? Go to urinal/part of trough furthest from door.

2nd in? Go to urinal nearest to door.

3rd in? Stop at urinal equidistant between the two occupied

 

etc.

 

Never, under any circumstances, come and stand next to me when urinals further away are free.

 

 

I do this on purpose, to freak out men that are clearly "worried they are gay"

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That is acceptable. The driver is doing me a favour in staying sober and taking me home. The cokes are just a gratuity.

 

Agree with this. I can't drive so am never in that position but if someone is willing to drive people around they deserve free coke.

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That is acceptable. The driver is doing me a favour in staying sober and taking me home. The cokes are just a gratuity.

 

Agree with this. I can't drive so am never in that position but if someone is willing to drive people around they deserve free coke.

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From the Publican's point of view :

 

Can everyone please drink white wine [small glasses though], and definitely not buy the bottle....

 

The reason, we make ridiculous profits on that cheap crap we buy for peanuts and flog to you lot for lots of money.

 

Failing that, keep getting the cokes/pepsis in for Desi, because that is almost pure profit - a tiny bit of syrup with water and a little gas :shock:

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From the Publican's point of view :

 

Can everyone please drink white wine [small glasses though], and definitely not buy the bottle....

 

The reason, we make ridiculous profits on that cheap crap we buy for peanuts and flog to you lot for lots of money.

 

Failing that, keep getting the cokes/pepsis in for Desi, because that is almost pure profit - a tiny bit of syrup with water and a little gas :shock:

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  • 2 weeks later...
- Couples buying a round between them. This is confounded when they still expect to be bought individual drinks by everyone else.

 

- The designated driver accepting cokes all night until its their round and then saying, 'I'm not getting a round, because I'm only drinking coke.'

 

- Running out of money, or leaving before getting your round in.

 

- Sitting in the prime TV viewing seats when you have no intention of watching it. Ladies, this one is aimed at you.

 

- Sitting on large tables when there are only 2 of you.

 

- Asking for a clean glass.

 

- Taking a laptop to the pub.

 

I'd agree with most of this, except the designated driver. It's a crap night out if you're driving so I never do it but if anyone is prepared to ferry me around when I'm drunk then they deserve free drinks all night.

 

I'd say watching TV in a pub full stop is bad etiquette unless it's for a specific sports event. This is a grey area though.

 

Asking for a Guinness as the last drink in the round - clearly wrong.

 

Jumping the queue - just about the worst thing you can do. Come on, we all know who's next even if the barman doesn't (it's not always easy to spot when you're on that side and have a long bar to check) but we can help them out.

 

As an ex-barman one of the things that annoyed me was getting halfway through a round only for the punter to go back and check what someone wanted. It left me standing like a lemon while other people were waiting. There are ways around it but with new tills it made it harder to serve someone else. I'd add indecisive people to this.

 

Getting all fancy about drinks - for example substituting 'ding dong' for bell's or 'low flier' for Grouse. Muppets, it's easier to say the actual words and you also don't look a prat at the same time.

 

Tapping coins at the bar.

 

Refusing to put the money into the outstretched hand of the barman. What's that all about? Chucking your money on the bar makes you look stupid and rude. I noticed that the people who did it were the ones who were complained when I did it back to them.

 

To even things up barmen/barmaids who constantly chat and are completely oblivious to anyone waiting also winds me up.

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  • 2 months later...
I'd agree with most of this, except the designated driver. It's a crap night out if you're driving so I never do it but if anyone is prepared to ferry me around when I'm drunk then they deserve free drinks all night.

 

Jumping the queue - just about the worst thing you can do. Come on, we all know who's next even if the barman doesn't (it's not always easy to spot when you're on that side and have a long bar to check) but we can help them out.

 

I'd agree with both of these points. I really hate it when people get served before you, even though they know you were there first. It is selfish and rude.

 

I think when a couple of people are sat on a table for more than 5 people, they should be told to get up and move.

 

I don't like people who shout when they're on fruit/quiz machines. Worse then those people though are the ones who stand behind you when you're on one. And the worst of all of them are the ones who think they are entitled to join in.

 

I don't like it when people poo on the floor in toilets rather than the toilet.

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  • 4 weeks later...
I'd agree with most of this, except the designated driver. It's a crap night out if you're driving so I never do it but if anyone is prepared to ferry me around when I'm drunk then they deserve free drinks all night.

 

I'd say watching TV in a pub full stop is bad etiquette unless it's for a specific sports event. This is a grey area though.

 

Asking for a Guinness as the last drink in the round - clearly wrong.

 

Jumping the queue - just about the worst thing you can do. Come on, we all know who's next even if the barman doesn't (it's not always easy to spot when you're on that side and have a long bar to check) but we can help them out.

 

As an ex-barman one of the things that annoyed me was getting halfway through a round only for the punter to go back and check what someone wanted. It left me standing like a lemon while other people were waiting. There are ways around it but with new tills it made it harder to serve someone else. I'd add indecisive people to this.

 

Getting all fancy about drinks - for example substituting 'ding dong' for bell's or 'low flier' for Grouse. Muppets, it's easier to say the actual words and you also don't look a prat at the same time.

 

Tapping coins at the bar.

 

Refusing to put the money into the outstretched hand of the barman. What's that all about? Chucking your money on the bar makes you look stupid and rude. I noticed that the people who did it were the ones who were complained when I did it back to them.

 

To even things up barmen/barmaids who constantly chat and are completely oblivious to anyone waiting also winds me up.

 

I work as a barman and this winds me up a lot, especially if the bar is wet on a busy night.

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Does it annoy barstaff here if they end up receiving a £20 note as a tightly rolled tube? The longer I have to wait to be served while they gas away to their colleagues or a customer mate the tighter it gets.

 

I think most barstaff get annoyed when their fellow barstaff are chatting away when there is customers to be served. Have to admit though its a difficult one to avoid when its a lady type.

 

Oh and yes notes in any form other then flat is ****ing annoying.

 

Arguably the worst crime is holding out the note in front of you :mad:.

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