CB Fry

Clasie was clearly Koeman's key target this summer and we signed him. We probably need to negotiate less effectively and just sign every we want for £10m to stop people moaning on here.

Isn't it funny how any real world comparative clubs you quickly disregard - no, so we're nothing like Leicester, or Sunderland or Newcastle or Stoke or, it seems, any other club on earth. Welcome to Sherlock's world, where Southampton Football Club are the most unique-est sporting institution there has ever been. Bizarre.

Arf. Keep trying. Just another variation on your openly weeping about net-spend routine. I then mention clubs with gigantic net spends - like Sunderland and Newcastle and you start spluttering about how no no no you don't mean them, you mean other clubs. Guess what, Southampton will have lots of seasons where we knock about mid table and then with a fair wind we will hit the heights of seventh. I couldn't give two sh its whether you and your non-dullards "accept" this or not, because that is what is going to happen. Waaa waaaah waaaah it's so unfair that howwible German woman took our windfall away, our windfall our windfall waaaah.

Not really.

Except the club won't increase in value, the cost of the club will remain about the same if we finish, say, sixth or fifteenth, fundementally the club is the same. Any potential purchaser is not going to be heavily influenced by a league position in any given season, as long as we are in the top flight. But a great plan - a new billionaire comes in spends all the money you want him to and only stops when you're happy, then of course we have non stop success forever until the next gazilllionaire turns up and buys it off them. Great thinking Roger, great thinking. Schoolgirl football economics.

It's not that big a bump. We're thirteenth in the Premier League, not bottom of it.

We only "stopped doing it this summer" for the right back position, when we should have signed somebody of Bertrand class at a Betrand sized fee. Other than that we haven't stopped doing it, have we?

How's your list coming on?

The temptation to have a second bite of the summer 2014 cherry is so irresistible or some isn't it? We finished seventh with a record points haul last season which should draw a line under it. Done. Move on. But you can really see how much some on here hated that outcome.

Comedy, comedy gold. Someone remind Begovic how much he wants to stay at Stoke because he seems to have accidentally signed for Chelsea in the summer. And N'Zonzi of course who so dearly and desperately wanted to stay at his beloved Stoke he decided to express that by being sold to Sevilla. Apparently he signed his contract in Spain wearing full Stoke City replica kit drinking from a Wedgwood mug and spent his first pay packet getting a tattoo of Gordon Banks on his back.

Except in 2005 we were second from bottom. But, yeah, identical. Have a Wispa.

Comedy gold fellas. Comedy gold.

Probably why Stoke have only bought one player at that price since we've been back in the Prem, Palace have only ever bought one and Watford and Leicester have never bought any. Newcastle and Sunderland have bought a few, though, so let's hope we start emulating their great work.

You said he was "given a budget that was only likely to buy also rans" which is not the same thing. He may have signed also rans, but he has been given a budget to assemble a team to be competitive and is comparable with other clubs. You're asking for evidence from me that Cuco Martina is a Koeman signing? Dear god. We signed him from Twente, and he spent eighteen months playing for Erwin Koeman, who is currently the assistant manager of Southampton Football Club and also the brother of the first team manager, Ronald Koeman. I'd like you to find some evidence that Cuco was a player unearthed by Reed and the black box and thrust onto an unsuspecting and helpless Ronald Koeman.

He's not doing the job expected right now because we're thirteenth. I don't think he is thinking of walking, and I can't see us sacking him even if we end up, say, 15th or so - he might then go at the end of the season if we do finish that low, I imagine there is a break/review clause at that point anyway, or at least it is a natural end. At this point I expect us to havea run of form at some point and be fine, I like our manager very much and I would like to see him deliver us back to a level that the cost of our squad should deliver - around about 10th from where we are now.

I believe Stoke City have signed one player for more than £10m in the entire time we've been back in the Premier League. One. We signed Long for twelve million knowing he would be on the bench as "competition" for Pelle. Have a look at Leicester's bank busting signings. Or Palace. Koeman has been given the tools.

Koeman has signed not one, not two but three £10m plus attackers to play alongside Jay Rod, an £8m signing. Koeman signed a £10m plus keeper. Koeman signed two £10m defenders to play alongside our captain, plus a £5m right back who may not be to standard. Plus an £8m defender currently crocked which has been covered by the club by another defender on loan, who had previously been subject to £8m transfers. In midfield/wings Koeman signed £10m winger, plus an £8m midfielder to play alongside our existing £12m midfielder. Added to that is £6m for another midfielder, decent fee for a back up midfielder. Let's skirt over the £12m legend on the bench today. Koeman has signed £10m or thereabouts - some twelve mil, some eight mil - for all over the pitch from front to back, so much so that we very often have ten million quid players on our bench. The idea he has had "a budget to buy only also rans" is utterly fu cking laughable. The cost of the team we put out stacks up very, very well compared to any in our competitive set. And Koeman's hands are all over it.

No, it is Koemans. The black box didn't sign Cuco, the Koeman family did.

Comedy gold.

You think we're going to win one game between now and the end of the season? Christ. After 20 games last year the team third from bottom had 17 which is identical to this season. There's nothing at all to suggest that 40 points will be required for survival.

42 points would mean relegation? 42 points meant 14th last season and 12th and 13th the two before that, but yeah, you're probably right. Also 40 points has meant relegation once in this millennium and that was more than a decade ago. But yeah. Bang on.

This could be Michael Laudrup all over again, just without the cup win. He was sacked in February of his second season.

Why is our situation so different from all of those clubs, then? I believed you don't really like it when people say we are particularly unique or special. I don't think we are, we're just like all those other clubs more or less and no more guaranteed to lock in finishing seventh in perpetuity than any of them, just like Palace, Leicester and Watford won't be doing either. Southampton Football Club: really not that unique.

I think this is right - no idea why Man U or Bayern would genuinely want him in the summer if he carries on as he is. I was hoping he would have a barn storming season, maybe break his own hat trick record and then we cash in big style when it becomes inevitable that he would go. Not quite worked out like that this season. On current form I think slightly more likely we've got him for one more season.

Where did I say it's random? Of course it isn't, our performance has been decided by choices we have made in recruitment, team selection, tactics and, to a lesser extent, retention. I didn't just shrug when we ballsed up our European campaign, it was a fu ck up of our own making. But there is no crossroads, except there always is a crossroads. If we'd finished fifth, twelfth, eighth, seventh, tenth, fourteenth last season, the same sh it would be coming out now - invest/push on/does she want to sell up/show ambition/waah waah look at X club why cant we be them/capitalise on our position/etc/etc. The usual grab-bag of obviousness but yeah, it's me with the platitudes, right? There's plenty of clubs that have finished top eight only to drop down alarmingly subsequently - from Villa and WBA to Boro, Blackburn and Fulham. There hasn't been any club, whatsoever, of our size that have consistently remained ahead of the chasing pack for any longer than three seasons, with most managing one or two. (The only one I can think of on three is Villa, where on season 3 of being sixth attendances went down as fans git bored and the fanbase started moaning about investing to push on. Or "capitalising on their position" or something.) So thanks for your in-no-way platitude heavy "if we capitalised we could have done better" insight. I have no doubt the management of the club are jotting it down right now.