JohnnyFartPants

Very funny.

I am doing that anyway, but I want some assurances that it might stop before the 7th pint by which time I am never quite sure if I am drawing air or mud from the well, so to speak.

I just can't shake them off. Three dumps today yet still my dead air is totally rank. I am walking to the pub shortly and need this problem sorting.

What I really want is a woman to post something before a bloke does.

Tonight - Fingering your anus and smelling it? Tomorrow - Eating a pizza and knocking one out? Sunday - *****ing your brother while catching the East Enders omnibus?

Like this you mean?

Then she will be pleased with your assessment of her small ****.

Tell your boss that the packet bulge in his pants is really embarrassingly small and you think he has the **** of a gerbil.

Where is this dam?

He was Welsh and a constable. Weirdo.

Does the term Jillywhopper make you want to slap Jilly around the head with your man flesh?

The most awkward situation I found myself in was when I got caught raping a dog by the local policeman in Cardiff in 1987. Little did I know he would make me do it in front of all his friends who were w@nking while watching. I was ashamed.

I really wanted to see that programme. I just saw the advert for it and knew the bare bones of it.

Whichever you feel will enhance my knowledge and understanding of the situation most.

Me too please.

I believe it is a term to describe full back knickers, the type your mum and BTF wears!!

People who follow fashion and watch for "this year-last year" trends do so because they have to follow the crowds to fit in and while "in fashion" have no class!

I have never seen the wrong "there" used like this before. Well done.

Surely the best in knickers a woman can wear, but I hear they are going out of fashion and will be replaced with apple catchers. That is just stupid.

No, sadly not but I have dumped in a birds mouth. I haven't really but it just sounded funny.

Ram your log up a dog, mate Shove your load in a toad, mate Intercourse with a horse, mate Down the throat of a goat, mate

I think he said it while taking gas and air when his shoulder popped out. He also said, "I will take the rubbish out in the morning mum" followed by "the bicycle is shining on my knees."

This makes no sense at all. Surely you should have continued until the sentence had a point.

I like the verse, "soixante-neuf with a smurf, mate" as my favourite.