SuperMikey

^ That was my 8500th post. A fine way to celebrate a milestone, if I do say so myself.

Goatse

Definitely wouldn't buy anything from the fish counter at the new Nottarf Krap Tesco Supermegastore. It's going to be like a f*cking Roman orgy in that section.

Nah, Bletch sent me the video but it got wiped by accident. All I have left is the thumbnail

There's even a video of one of those farts going wrong, after Bletch got a little too close to the lid of the jar..

I heard about Cortese upsetting Adidas too, apparently there were one or two sponsors of the club who felt his wrath because they didn't meet his requirements. Tbh I don't really care about the kit, as long as it's red and white.

giant

A Rochdale fan I spoke to says it's 100% certain Messi's going to them in the summer unfortunately.

I think Shane Long is a cracking signing for them, not so sure about Jelavic though. Bruce will stabilise them in the Prem and they'll become the new Wigan (who were the new us).

http://www.darwinawards.com/

Just watched 12 Years A Slave. Incredibly powerful, difficult to put into words. Guaranteed to clean up at the Oscars as well, especially Lupita Nyongo. Have to say I thought Paul Dano was great as well, only downside was our Benedict's slightly dodgy accent and lack of character.

I think we could potentially be a Top 6 team the size of perhaps Everton, and I would be happy with that. As long as we have the right ethos at the club of bringing through young players from the club, and not chucking money at mercenaries like Chelski and City do. A couple of forays into Europe over the next decade or so would be great, though I don't hold out much hope of seeing us win the league anytime soon!

Poor b*stard, he won't get the sympathy that he deserves because of the manner of his death. He's not the first talent laid to waste by heroin though.. Big Lebowski remains one of my favourite films. RIP.

Unfortunately not..

When you're all sobbing into your sunday roast later today, take a quick look around the table. As you gaze at your rapidly ageing wife, your selfish and distant children and the dog dragging its a*se along the carpet, think of me.

In an ideal world it would be West Ham, Sunderland and Stoke getting relegated. I would settle for just West Ham though.

I did hear that Little Chef in Watford was hiring, congrats Brett!

Wasn't at the game today but funny to see people slating Wanyama for a poor performance - the guy's just come back from a 6 week layoff. Boruc wasn't exactly sharp when he came back from his injury either, but he's back to his best now. I do have to say that Jack Cork has been absolutely sublime recently, in the first half last week he was unplayable. Pleased with the win, even though it was expected. While catching up on the first half action at HT on my break from work I had that horrible feeling that Fulham would nick a goal from somewhere and we'd end up losing, but it sounds like we were absolutely flying in the second half. Hopefully we can keep this form going and finally get out of that sticky patch from December!

Boruc Chambers Fonte Yoshida Shaw Schneiderlin Wanyama Cork Lallana Rodriguez Lambert Subs: K.Davis, Clyne, Hooiveld, JWP, S.Davis, Guly, Gallagher

gash

I know he acted like a tw*t, but I do feel a bit sorry for Dani. He's not really been able to settle anywhere and that's obviously not going to improve his personal issues. Hope he does well in Turin. Don't think he'll be happy until he's playing for Boca though..

I wouldn't say so, we have Lallana and Prowsey that give us creativity - and also Gaston when he's back from injury.

Santi Del Solanti doesn't exist. Complete bullsh!t.

Fargo

Well, I live round the corner and my mate works next door so... Ah f*ck it, why justify it. I like eating, and the food there is nice.