Hatch

A Smash'n'Nicey type DJ or one of those noisty scratchy fckuers type DJS

A new invention. I think I will call them 'Pedalos' and hire them at a beaches or lakes. I'm going on Dragons Den. PS. Will I be seeing you on Sunday?

I do extreme sports. Like paddling a boat and riding a bicycle.

Tried that, doesn't help. Still can't think of one.

:smt102 I couldn't name one of her songs if I sat here for a million years

She is another one of those, 'what the **** do you do and why are you always in the paper' people

I'm going out there with a fiver and become a loan shark. I'll be beating them off with a ****ty stick , as they will be so eager to take on my 10,000% offers.

Same as one of those Kennedy fellas

1/2 % annually not monthly

'fags' being the correct term.

Who wins the signed photo. MY vote goes to B rabbit.

Have the high street banks followed suit though?

You're right. It wasn't a mistake. It was a gamble. He took a gamble and he lost. Now he is paying for it. As are innocent third parties.

I thought this was going to be about the front page in The Sun today. Single woman, 7 kids, £170,000 a year in benefits, living in a £1.2m house paid for by tax payers.

Do Heerenveen still have those little hearts on their kits? I bet Sol thinks they look 'ever so fabulous' (PS How do you type in a camp style? )

I'm going to buy a ticket and not go so that there is at least one empty seat

That sounds like a name of a band that someone like Rory would like.

Whatever animal would provide me with bacon sandwiches.

true story

my wife, then I would have the pleasure of banging myself. (as I am sure it is a pleasure from a birds point of view and not cos I'm some sort of fag)

Donated to Tescos for the value range sausages.

I have as it happens. She was a proper stunner as well. But then he went and blew by wearing a shiny white suit, which strangely enough, looked really camp.

He crashed a car that he got in knowing full well he was drunk. May as well have had a gun.

I bet he doesn't drop the soap.

One night out on the p.i.ss. £100.