Crouchie's Lawyer

Stinky Minkey?

This is my feeling. It needs to be knocked down due to damp problems. My recent luck would mean I would fork out a few grand sorting it and 6 months down the line, the same thing would happen!

Snobster

far / of hth

Nope as the Swanmonkeh is evil and consequently would just to to hell so no angel wings. See, a devil Swanmonkeh

You have to explain what part would be the giraffe and which would be the jellyfish though or better still, a picture would be good

Its due to people claiming for tom, d!ck and harry's sat nav, car stero and handbag that never were that our insurance rises each year. I guess it's up to you if you decide to 'reward' yourself with a justification for paying more each year or remain truthful. While I would not invent things to report as stolen, I may exagerate things. For example, just after I past my licence many moons ago, I picked up a hellova bargain. A D reg red Ford Fiesta that had done 38k miles. It was in mint condition and driven only by an old biddy once a day to the shops. The car was written off in a collision where some gimp went into the back of my car. I claimed for whiplash and got a couple of hundred quid for it, but only because the amount the insurance people would pay out for my car was far below what I paid for it only 6 months prior, and also what it was worth (there wasnt many to compare it to). I do not feel guilty at this, as it was not my choice for the car to be ruined, and so I sould not be left in a worse off state, even if they were saying what they were paying me for the car was market value.

Is that a monkey elephant? You dont have to write on the thread if you dont want to Shane? The wongs would be powerful enough to make it fly, thus being a flying monkey. I look forward to your paint/photoshop suggestion Hamster

Technically it does, the spring just moves it again

You got something against Persil?

What would they be? I was asked this question last night after I had a few smokes. I chose, a monkey with a swan. You would have the big powerful wings of a swan, on the back of a small chimpanzee. A flying monkey would be awesome Any other suggestions? Feel free to mock up something on paint/photoshop

But you are a comedian!

Brand was hardly the 'big' star then though was he? Would have got hardly any publicity and consequently, wouldnt have achieved what she would have wanted out of it. IMO she has no way engineered this, however, this is her golden ticket and by jove, she is grabbing hold of it and not letting it go!

With you on this one Stevo, does my head in too. Although quite often it can benefit, for example, if you are in the wrong lane and need to get into the right lane, you know, if the queue in the other lane is long enough, that there will be one of these mongs somewhere along the line, so you can teach them a lesson by pulling in the lane you want to be in, right infront of them.

Following on from Bates one which was rubbish. I have found this beaut. I still think the one Bates found of the girls in a ball on the floor was the best, and its gonna take some beating. Cant be arsed to number the picture, so top left is one and you can count left to right... I choose, 4, 5, 6, 22, 31 & 33 :smt101

Does that cost extra?

2 & 8 if I had to, this one is pretty cr*p though bates, they are mostly teh mingz

They are all given their own special title as I understand it. 'Traffic Police'

Mods???

Christ, you really are suicidal! Things cant be that bad, just think, the time you were in traffic was time you were not at work. Every cloud and all that.

I think you find it a turn on, because you have exausted your typical 'porn' and bashed the bishop to it too much. You seek something different to satisfy your 'needs' and push boundaries further. Starts with a bit of anal, then onto more taboo things like fisting and leads to asian girls puking into each others va-jay-jays and then eating it again. I however, have a girlfriend and get all the secks I need to stop me relying on porn. Therefore, I am happy with the 'typical' porn available without the need for a credit card on the tinterweb. Afankoo

F*ck that. Yeah sympathies to Andrew Sachs, it was his answerphone that they left the message on, and yes it is his family they were talking about, but thats about where my sympathy stops Im afraid. We are all forgetting, she DID sleep with him, so they are not making any false accusations, and the fact of the matter is, that if something bad happened to me, I would want it swept under the carpet asap and forgotten about. I certainly would not sell the story to any newspaper willing to throw a few pennies my way! She is a 'dancer' who has tried her hand in 'glamour modelling'. IMO, she will do very well out of this and taking the humiliating call to her grandad out of the acquations, she has not lost out whatsoever. I mean, if Brand just announced on air he slept with a little known person from Locksheath and said girl was trying to become famous by whapping her baps out, it would give her so much publicity, it would be the boost her career needed. IMO, yes it may not have been planned, and yes, her grandad is probably hurting, but I would imagine she will go on from this and look back at it as the moment her 'career' kicked off.

Its things like that and the spider one, where (correct me if im wrong) but a spider bites a fly and lays its eggs inside said fly. The fly then incubates the spider eggs and when they are nearly ready bites something else (normally a large animal, but it has been known to be a human). The eggs are transferred to the bite and the spiders start to grow in you. The next thing you know is a lump appearing on your body which bursts and releases loads of little spiders. Again, this maybe an urban myth, but im pretty sure I have heard its true