Whitey Grandad

Not something you read everyday.

Likewise, my one and only visit to the Emirates.

I went bro a nightclub once and they stamped the back of my hand. I suppose I should be grateful that it wasn't a tattoo.

If only they had appointed Hoddle whilst they had the chance.

It qualifies as 'holding' which means stopping the opponent from moving freely. Some defenders will take hold of an opponent's shirt so that they can watch the ball and still sense when the other player makes a move. If they let go straight away there's no problem but when it becomes a tug it should be punished.

No, just a one game ban, same as two yellows unless it's the second red in a season. Three games is for a red for violent conduct or serious foul play.

Unless we are perceived as being a poor team who these big teams should be able to roll over and that losing to us is somehow the worst disgrace in football. No, it's just the last straw in a run of poor results, but I'd like to think that somehow we could take some credit for it. Has he gone yet?

Some of us can remember when £4m bought us a record signing, someone like Delap, a record that lasted for 11 years. How times have changed.

The only one I really blame him for was the flap against Palace that went straight to Zaha. I agree that Forster is a better keeper. Stek is not bad, but not up with the top ones.

Removing your shirt is a mandatory yellow, as is shirt-tugging come to that. These days it's called 'unsporting behaviour' presumably because not all players are gentlemen any more and may not actually be men. On penalties, as a linesman I was once told by the referee that if I flagged for a penalty I had to be 110% sure of it.

You just pay to get a name and number tattooed on your back.

It ranges from 42 to nearly 60 if I get really excited! This doesn't happen very often these days It's actually 43 at the moment. The blood pressure is perfectly adequate, if a little high but not by much.

With oil at the present price? I remember when the events of 1982 were going on, the first reaction of my French and American counterparts was that 'there must be oil involved'.

What about the people who live there, don't you care about them?

During my 'modest' heart attack my BP was 210/96 but my pulse rate was normal for me at 44. I had always thought that if you had an attack your pulse would be racing but apparently not. Later that afternoon it dropped to 30 bpm and all the alarms were going off. It's weird lying there waiting a couple of seconds for your next heartbeat.

Yes indeed. You don't play football with your hands.

Simple solution: no shirts, just coloured body paint. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/15/55/b7/1555b70633562c61c121ae9807ceaecb.jpg

Nice technique, the way he twists as he shoots.

Parliament

A bit extreme, surely? Just chopping a hand off should be sufficient.

We've had worse days

It can also mean 'filled' or 'well supplied' with something so on this occasion I have to agree with our friend Fry. Besides, the meanings of words can depend on many things, as Lewis Carroll once wrote: 'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less'.

Retrospective action is needed. What shall we go for, a one match ban?

Martin Chivers?

I often have that problem.