Whitey Grandad

Indeed. I certainly wouldn't want to go into next season withe the squad in its present state.

There was some drunken noise coming from their area for the first few seconds but somebody must have let them know what was going on. I think it was coming from below stairs.

Yes, this is a common feature of our play. Often the midfield player has plenty of space to turn and look upfield but it seems to be trained into them that they should lay it straight back. Davis put in a great shift of work yesterday but he's not the sort of player you need when you're chasing a lead. To be honest I thought Guly looked very slick when he cam on for a few minutes with a couple of enterprising through balls.

Very glad to hear it. Grandma and I have been together since we first me in 1966 when we were both still sixteen. When we look back over a life spent together there has been very little to complain about on my part but she has had to put up with me. I wouldn't have had it any other way. Two children and seven grandchildren later and physically you wouldn't recognise us from photographs of when we were eighteen but inside we're still a couple of kids in love. The only problem I have is trying to convince her that we're both on the same side, she can sometimes see things as a competition between us. The longer you stick together the more you realise that you have invested in life, and the more that you have to lose.

And the good points?

Who he?

Exactly. I'm better than both of them when I'm not playing It doesn't matter how good Boruc is if he keeps getting injuries. We need a couple of new goalkeepers if our number 1 and number 2 are going to be injured half the time.

Nothing we could blame him for today. He even kept us in the game on one occasion.

He was miles better than Boruc today.

So blatant I didn't see it.

You've saved me typing. Shaw's crossing was awful. Would somebody please tell them that playing the ball back and forwards along the back four is never going to score any goals, and you've only got to miss one pass to put yourselves in trouble. Fonte got caught for pace a few times.

Aren't they called 'tents'?

My wife always drives. I just hold the steering wheel.

HUSBAND'S TEXT MESSAGE: Darling, a car hit me whilst crossing the road outside the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. The Doctors have been making tests and taking X-rays The blow to my head has been very strong but, fortunately, it seems that it did not cause any permanent brain damage. But I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they may have to amputate my right foot. WIFE'S RESPONSE: Who is Paula?

There's something about this whole search area thing that raises my suspicions. They all seem so certain that it's down there but the Inmarsat indications are very approximate to say the least. To have actually found any of these pings by chance would seem to me to be miraculous so I wouldn't be at all surprised by what you say. The important thing is that we do eventually get some answers.

That's not the point. What the F*ck are you doing in the kitchen anyway?

If they don't show up in mirrors then in my experience zombies or vampires are usually involved somewhere, sometimes both.

If a man says he's going to do something then there's no need to remind him every six months. Female logic (there is no such thing) is different to a man's. They can never give a straight answer to a straight question, you have to have a full story of the thought processes involved first.

I've met him: I couldn't possibly comment

Bad hip, last week.

Simple. You borrow to pay off the debt

I've just finished watching it. Nothing much that we haven't already discussed. International protocols wasted a lot of time in the early phases and that ground radar only covered a limited amount if airspace. Any military intel would not be publicly admitted, that surveillance resources are expensive and have to be specifically targeted to be of any use. The Inmarsat calculations were compared with 6 other aircraft that were flying at the same time. None of the wilder theories was discussed. Then talk about what the future might hold with any new developments being driven more by the demand for greater connectivity for the passengers than aircraft safety. Talk of continuous reporting from the onboard systems and some Japanese research into total remote control. An admission that the cockpit voice recorder probably won't reveal anything, if found. It confirms what we already knew, that this situation is unprecedented and unprepared for and that the aviation world will be revamped for the future. The one question that lingers for me is why the aircraft made that last, final sudden turn towards the south. It seemed to be under onboard control until then.

There's a programme about it at the moment on the Discovery Channel.

Which stand shall we name after him?

Maybe He didn't move the star, maybe He moved the earth! There! You hadn't thought of that, had you?