Whitey Grandad

I'm still in the changeover from Sky to Virgin. I effectively wanted multiroom and HD and a cabled installation was more practical than a satellite broadcast. Now I can watch the footie in the conservatory on Monday nights without all the earache. The broadband is very good. I still need to switch off Plusnet just as soon as I get my missus a new email address. Plusnet were ****ing me off with constant delays and outages.

Yes, it was the other ones that he didn't give that raised a few eyebrows.

They don't play there any more but the Arena has other uses. I hear that Elton John went down quite well.

'If you build it, they will come'.

Man Utd prefer to have a section of the crowd who are once a season visitors because they buy all the Ryan Giggs bedspreads and Wayne Rooney face cream so they restrict the total number of season tickets.

Americanisms such as 'regular' instead of 'standard' or 'normal'. My clock and my bowels are regular.

Make no mistake, he would have gone if the takeover hadn't happened. He was under a lot of pressure from his wife who wanted to stay here.

What's a thousand or so bums between friends?

30,713 is just about as near to full as you're ever going to get.

I made it five completely empty (10 seats) and five half empty, or should that be half full?

They can be iFfy.

Clyne looked very good at left back.

I had the same problem installing IOS5 on my iPhone 3. It got stuck in an endless reboot loop. I finally managed to catch it with a combination power off sequence. It's still on the shelf waiting for me to be brave enough to try to reset it with ITunes.

Im Krankenhaus, eigentlich.

But I am old, chunky and outdated. I'll stick with my 4, we belong to each other.

No, it's even worse than that.

Aren't there regulations now that the water has to soak through and not run off into the drains?

Keep 'em coming lads. We've been intending to get ours done for some time.

That's not quite my point. A non-smoker is a happy as a smoker having his fix. The perceived pleasure of the smoker comes from getting the fix, i.e. getting back to 'normal'.

I would like your choice to be freely taken without being driven by addiction, for your own sake. I would not like to see anybody inflicting self-harm in any form even if they said that they enjoyed it. All I ask is that you understand the process by which you get effective pleasure, it comes from feeding the addiction. My point about banging your head was that it was like going without the smoke and having a craving. When you stop doing it (banging or going without) it feels good. Some of us get plenty of serotonin from just sitting in the garden reading the paper. For the non-smoker life feels great all the time, not just when they are having a fix.

What about the morale of those who don't smoke? Are you saying that everybody should have a cigarette break just to increase their morale? Three quarters of the population don't smoke so how on earth have they managed for the last 2 million years?

You can always find some people, but with smoking the odds against are awful. For every one who lives to over 90 there are many more who never got to retirement. The point about smoking is that the benefits and pleasure are illusory and non-existent. The 'high' that smokers get is relief from withdrawal symptoms. They have deliberately forced a chemical parasite into their bodies. Initially the body will fight this but once it's ingrained then it demands to be fed by nicotine, and in return it lets you feel normal for a little while. Then it gets hungry again, and all the while it is eating away at your insides. If you think you enjoy smoking then try banging your head against a wall for a while and see how nice it feels when you stop. Your choice, of course, your money, your life.

Which Wednesday? Or is that Sheffield Wednesday?

Typical denial of the nicotine junkies. Yes they die, but they die later. I have seen two close colleagues die very painful deaths from cancer in the past few years at 63 and 64. Yes, they were both smokers.

Never have, never will. Mugs' game. I've suffered all my life from other people's smoke and all I ask is a few smoke-free years in what I have left.