Whitey Grandad

There is no room for sentiment here, this is business. We need a better keeper for the next level, and a few other players too.

This sums it all up. I'm glad I'm not there today. We've probably got several new players lined up already.

Hmm 18. How am I supposed to have dark hair at my age? Any woman impressed by an Audi is not worth having anyway and I can still come up to scratch when necessary.

And Blackpool?

Aren't there now new regulations in place restricting this?

You normally get them stuffed and mounted. Or is it mounted and stuffed?

My elderly neighbour, who has two cats, woke up last week to find a large, strange ginger tom lying in bed next to him. After it had eaten all the cat food in the house and terrorised his other cats he phoned the vet. He said that it belonged to a woman at the top of our estate who had paid £2000 for a pedigree ginger tom. You see, that's the danger of catflaps, you never know who or what you're letting in to your house.

Indeed, I had this proof offered to me many years ago: 1/9 is 0.11111 recurring 2/9 is 0.22222 recurring ... 9/9 is 0.99999 recurring

Only those who put out the wrong coloured bin.

What, again ???

It's i over 8.

I'll have a Blackpool please, Bob.

Never believe a rumour until it's denied.

Related, but not quite the same... We once had a Danish customer whose first name was Bent. Bent liked to wear a black leather jacket and one evening we were all in a pub in Romsey when by business partner John went up to the bar to someone who was wearing a black leather jacket and tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned round John said "Oh I'm sorry, I thought you were Bent".

As in 'bath'?

But could he spell?

I overate?

I often like to look at things from another direction.

Do you have that problem too, Scotty?

Wouldn't that be 'constructive dismissal'?

Try replacing the £ with metre and p with cm and then imagine it with little square tiles each 1cm x 1cm. So 100p = (10p)2 which would be the same as saying that 100 tiles in a row can be arranged into a square 10 tiles by 10 tiles, but this does not equal 0.1m2 which would need 1000 tiles. The difference is between (0.1)2m and (0.1m)2

Let's just say that they didn't try very hard.

This step is wrong. There are 100 p in a £ so to go from p2 to £2 you need to convert by 1002

You're mixing pence and pounds and once you square £0.1 you are in a different dimension which requires a correction factor of 100 to get back to the one in which we live.

Yes, different units. You can square a number but pence and pounds are different dimensions.