Crab Lungs

That was a penalty. But it says something when we’re beaten by over the top balls by the ‘pace’ Barnes and wood.

#lesandross’duedilligence

Great stuff. Maybe we should slap another couple of years on forsters contract.

Will be five years after this year, surely? True champions. And they say we don’t win anything and when they do, we sn1gger at them.

Sounds like a plan. I’m thinking it’s probably wise to put some of the cash aside for a dribblers forum before the season kicks off (a free pint and a handful of peanuts normally placate a dribbler). Also worth budgeting for is a darker red (crimson perhaps?) felt thingy to go around the pitch when the new one wears thin. Plus we’ve probably got to account for the motivational bannering and block capital slogans around the stadium for the new season. That don’t come cheap. We’re definitely not haemorrhaging money. Definitely.

Christ, twitter really makes hope that a meteorite hits earth.

Ah, now it makes sense. We are so well run.

This as well. Just want to ride this season out now, get it over and done with and go again next year. It really feels like they're trying, but they're blatantly not good enough - even to scrap out a draw at home with Palace.

Had that on the background. This is pure PC cr4p. Winds me up. Absolutely not cut out for it - could have had a decent summariser in (even someone who hasn't played, like Michelle Owen) instead if they're going to go down that route. They'll have transgendered HDMI cables on match reports soon.

Massively this. This showed us how average we are, really. This isn't a team that'll finish in the top 10. Ever.

I think Chelsea's players have definitely given up on Sarri-ball. If they give him time, I reckon they'll be a good watch eventually. But he definitely won't get the time. I think the horse has bolted from stable, big time.

I genuinely don't think he's exaggerating. If that was a Hughes performance, this place would have melted down.

I'd agree with the Andre Marriner comment, definitely. Was very good to us. CP will probably feel a bit hard done by.

A few observations. Zaha, what a player but also what a petulant turd. Ridiculous. Obviously frustrated as he does get tw4tted around quite a bit but grow up you absolute w4nker. JWP reaction not cool either. If ever there was an advert for how far we've slipped player-wise, this was it. This was us, trying to go toe-to-toe with Palace. Yes they've got some excellent players on the break but this performance screamed 'reinforcements' - especially at CB and upfront (either a focal point or pace or both). Stephens... terrible, but sarcastically cheering him was the form of d1ckheads - of which we've got more than our fair share. He will never be a decent PL CB but he's definitely got potential elsewhere in the team, maybe at holding midfield. Was frustrating that our CB's kept getting intercepted around the halfway line when bringing the ball out but people need to be patient and understand what they're trying to do. But no, instead, the mongrel weirdos screaming 'gettit forward uuuuu caaaaaant' think they know best. One of cr4pper performances under RH which is prime evidence for strengthening - however; I think if we can't get what we want in this window then we have more than enough to limp to high 30's in points then go again in the summer. Properly. Actually properly back him. Now which one of the dinnies on here is going to clamour for Gunn in goal?

I genuinely don’t know what we’ve done with all the PL and transfer money in recent seasons. Mental.

Oh great. Loads of pillocks going to be calling for Gunn again soon.

He’s so bad it’s funny... until you realise he’s still contracted to us.

Hoedt and Boufal starting v Valladolid today. Should be a fun watch for two differing reasons.

Yeah terrible. Prefer hoedt.

Yeah let’s just get a load of cr4p in on 60k+ a week. Not done that before

I genuinely don’t understand there cash situation - other clubs seem to be able to spend money, yet we seem to have to sell before we can buy a lot of the time. I know we’re haemorraging some cash on a couple of ridiculous contracts but that net spend table says it all.

And the award for most misleading football headline of the day goes to...

Good. Hopefully permanent, though I’d hate to shovel this tremendous pile of cr4p on most teams (Pompey, Bournemouth, West Ham, Everton and Liverpool excluded. Fukk off Wesley, you useless pr1ck. Ahhhhh that’s better

How do you go from bloody awful to a top CB? FWIW, I think that’s impossible for him... he’s that sh1t.

I’m pinning the blame on McCarthy. We’ve got two of England’s best goalkeepers (and probably the universe) sitting out because of him. McCarthy too slow, ponderous, very average, not tall enough, too tall, too fat, too slim ... #ourfansareweapons