Crab Lungs

He’s not that great anyway.

Yep, they weren’t great but I suppose they didn’t have to be. You could kind of see they were a bit of a team though. So glad West Ham are continuing the lolz. Pellegrini

They won’t be all that, as predicted. They were flat track bullies last year. Nunos not gonna last either.

If we ever, EVER get the dream of Jannik and Yosh paired up, we’ll immediately see what we’ve been missing.

Remember, our recruitment team is the envy of the world. A weird Scottish midget in an oversized suit, a never-has-been and never-will-be smug football executive and a team of nerds with Macs looking at FIFA ultimate team cards to pinpoint our next signing. Great algorithm.

Same people who likely shuffled around him like starry-eyed kids at the fans forum, meekly thanking him. Our fans are absolute weirdos. And yes about Hoedt. Hughes is to blame for picking him, but I’d like to think he’s half sensible to have learned from Hoedts performances and putting in alongside Stephens.

That is delightful. I can’t imagine what he’s do to hoedt

What the actual fkkk.

I feel enraged. I almost used to combust when Forster and him played though.

Stephens is by no means a brilliant CB but he’s nowhere near as sh1t as Hoedt.

Welcome to my world. People, sorry, dinnies on still defend hoedt and actually think he’s good, or that he’ll getbetter.

There are several huge elephants in the room and some of them were approached but the answers given were quite frankly, watery and inconclusive. The pellegrino answer was pathetic, made out to be some sort of well planned and executed move. Carillo, what sort of response was that? I don’t expect them to apologise but I do expect some sort of admission that they made a mistake. We went round the houses with the Gao answer... nothing clearly stated ‘this is what he wants to do’ ‘this is his plan’ etc. All I ever hear about is raising our profile in China, ergo - his profile. No admission that they’d learned anything from last year. As predicted, all the dinnies lap it up because there was a free bar etc. #wesapon

It was, Hughes aside, just a load of waffle and were no close to explanations on anything. Anything at all.

A great advert for those wishing to lead a life in celibacy.

I like the Muppets one. Someone with a better handle on net spend would have tied those turds up in knots tonight.

Adam's a great broadcaster.... I'm glad he didn't let that happen and he wouldn't because he's a professional but he definitely, definitely helped deflect a lot of the difficult stuff.

Gao should have been there. Disgraceful that he's not.

A colossal waste of time. As predicted.

Having been to a few before and not my learnt my lesson until now, I’m very well placed to make assumptions on what it will be like. And if I’m wrong, my predictions above can be scrutinised justifiably. On another note, some people on here are probably justified in their beliefs that they are more worldly, superior and knowledgeable...because they are. It’s probably a 60/40 dinny melt split on here

Yep. Terrible, doesn’t run fast/hard enough.

Ditto the last bit.... it’s the personnel used that impacts the way we play, not the formation (well not completely - it’s how you utilise it)

Oh and I think it's pretty f()kkin poor our owner, who was there Saturday, won't be there. A real opportunity to outline your intentions after approximately a year of owning the club.

I like this lineup. Get rid of Hoedt. Absolutely sh1te.

A few predictions for tomorrow; - Ralph will offer up strange platitudes and weird-speak on locker rooms and rosters. He will also take all the difficult questions (if asked) and go off on a tangent from what was originally asked. - Reed will bewitch with corporate mumbo-jumbo and will take any opportunity to link any successes in recent times indirectly back to him. - The player will be dull, dull, dull. - Hughes will be the only one worth listening to but will be guarded and won't give much away (but if you listen carefully, he will). It'll mostly be a season-ticket **** measuring contest between dweebs. The majority of the questions will concern things like concourse facilities and red felt around the pitch. We won't get any closer to what Gao's intentions are, why Forster was given extension after extension despite being horrendously sh1t, why Pellegrino was given almost a full season despite being sh1t and why he was given £20m to spunk on Carillo. There will be no accountability by Reed or Wilson for our recent poor recruitment of playing and coaching staff. There will be no accountability for any of the big stuff. None. A few weirdos will meet Reed etc and come back on here, starry-eyed and will tell everyone how "nice" and "genuine" they are despite riding roughshod and presiding over two years of pretty amateur decision-making.

Seriously wtf is this? Our fans ffs