Right, listen up Santa, you fat knacka, I asked for this (http://www.williamswarn.com/The-WilliamsWarn) last year and you didn't come through, despite having plenty of notice. FFS, how long do your elves need to rustle one up? Well, I am giving you over a months notice this year so there should be no excuse for non delivery, even furniture land can fufill an order in that timescale.
I have also been extra good this year and I promise not to put any of my other present requests on my wife's amazon list this year (true story ).
Yours in anticipation,
CB Saint