benjii

It's Van der Waals. You all thought he'd gone but he's still very much there behind the scenes. He's not the puppet master though, we all know who that is....

So you're obviously not behind Kluivert-gate then as that is pretty realistic?

Very good Stu!

Anyway, we have a proud tradition of drunk drivers in our team in recent years.

Down Weston shore innit?

No, I've got some cream for that.

Enzo Scifo and Toto Schillaci in Shirley Kebab Junction. Signings to be announced at 7am tomorrow.

So, the big question: Is Kluivert the new Bierhoff or the new Skacel? I'd ****ing love it if we signed him. It would be the headline deal of the window. (PS - I doubt there is any truth in this!)

Quite right too. Women have no place on a golf course.

What, whether there's any truth in the suggestion we're signing Patrick Kluivert? No idea, but I guess not.

He has said he wants to leave and is probably one of our top three wage earners already (in fact, I expect only Davies earns roughly the same amount?). If we simply give him a wage increase on that basis we are letting players run the club. It would be ridiculous. The fact that we have not entertained the idea speaks nothing about a "restrictive" wage structure. It points to good management. Further, the fact that we signed the League's top scorer would also seem to be irrefutable evidence that our wage structure is not "restrictive". He's a decent player but he doesn't merit being way out ahead as our top earner. I'm sure there are plenty of similar quality replacements available.

Yeah, maybe. Instead of "more money" read "longer terms". In any case, he is a player who is known to want to leave and is also known to be on a wage which is a perfectly good Chanpionship wage. The notion that his departure to a club in a lower league, who are apparently trying to sign the likes of Nedved, Figo and Larrson (!!!!), therefore means there is discontent in our camp because we are being "shackled" by a wage structure is clearly quite outlandish.

If we sell him then obviously Pardew really doesn't rate him enough to want him to stay. Now, given that he's 24 and we have quite a lot of young midfield players (James, Schneiderlin, Gobern, Thomson, McClaggon, White, Holmes, Mills all of whom have some promise) as well as the experienced Hammond and Wotton, if we can free up a squad place and get some money it kind of makes sense.

So if Notts County are offering him more than we currently pay, you'd offer him a pay-rise to keep him would you? EDIT: Bungle has put this more succinctly.

Don't know why people are giving him such a hard time. If he has decided to sacrifice his international career for cash, that's up to him. Good luck to him.

With his long-time business partner and mentor Terry Hurlock?

Saga's been linked with QPR hasn't he and now we're linked with that Polenta chappy. Swapsies?

No, no, that's Uli van Gobbel (actually I believe he is on the run). Marco Almeida?

Oh and I will PMSL if James and Krancjar leave for £4m!

"'Arry's fee" - what on earth are you suggesting?! :smt017

Thanks. How about Cosimo Sarli?

Does anyone know what Neal Heaney's up to?