scotty

Very odd one, this. The idea that it is a sincere gesture towards brotherly love and understanding rings somewhat hollow, but who can tell?

How is bristol not on that list? One of only two places on the planet I have vowed never to return to?

..ahem, meant to post this in the muppet show, can a mod shift it please.....

Will these thugs stop at nothing??? http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-24430981

I made a right hash of mooring up, sprinted to the harbourmaster and panted "sorry mate, I've just f*cked four of your buoys." He said "you must have some stamina, want a job?"

I'm not even a household name in my own household.

Christ almighty. Thanks pal, thats an image I could have happily lived without

I said before the game that swansea are an excellent side going forward. I didn't see anything today to alter my opinion. Got to confess, for a while at 1-0 I still expected us to lose.

I called this one as a 3-1 defeat, so fair play to turkish who predicted 2-1 Saints. Great result, and against a very good attacking side. Not sure how we kept that clean sheet, Boruc was immense, and all credit to J-Rod for that poachers special to wrap it up, superb take.

If you genuinely need a good masseuse to sort your back, (no frills or happy ending,) I can pmail you the number of one I use regularly, my profession happens to involve a knackered back at regular intervals. Fifty quid well spent, but dont expect to get your rocks off in the process, strictly therapeutic business.

Down to earth with a bang. Saints 1 - Swans 3. I dont see us getting anything from this game. Swansea are a better side than most give them credit for, and their forward play is terrific. #bedwetters

Count me in that, but I was standing on a box in the wilton end. And I'm guessing there are rather more than 20 posters on here who could say the same.

:lol:

People complain about charity collection sacks getting shoved through their letterboxes, but I find them ideal for my grandmother's used incontinence pads. And if I put them out on the pavement every tuesday morning, it even saves me bin space.

I phoned my boss and told him I'd be late as I had to take my cat to the vet. "Pull the other one," he snapped. "Why cant your wife take it?" I said "because it's not her cóck its stuck on."

Seems ridiculous on the face of it, was anyone involved in the horrendous crime of imbibing alcohol being rowdy/aggressive, mirrorcarp? If not, I cant see why you got singled out. And as others have already said, if the stewards didn't confiscate said hip flask just say it wasn't alcohol. In fact, you only have the word of its owner that it was alcohol at all. It may not have been, they would have to contact its owner to confirm it either way, and my guess is that he might suggest it was non-alcoholic.

Agreed. ....but.... could so easily have gifted two pens in the last two prem games. The scouser one was iffy to say the least, and the one today could so easily have ended up as a spot kick, I've seen far less obvious ones given. Superb signing though.

"You need to reduce your cholesterol", said the doctor. "Why are you eating so much buttered toast?" I replied "I'm spreading the risk."

edited it for you.

Whatever happened to miltonroader?

My inlaws had a place in Torrevieja for 15 years. It was in a residencial block of flats as opposed to a specific holiday or expat place, and we got a lot of value from it. Most of the (large, Italian) family went there at least once a year, so it was occupied for longer than it was empty. Maintenance costs were low because it wasnt a tourist place, I think it cost a maximum of £1k a year to maintain including electricity. They bought it for £18k in about 1988, and sold it in 2002 for £55k. If I'd had the money I would have bought it from them. The thing about seeing different places is entirely valid of course, but I loved going there. You're on holiday the moment you land; there's the hire car office, leave the airport knowing the route like the back of your hand, drop off at the supermarket for the essentials, drop your stuff in the flat that you havent spent half the day finding or settling in to, out for a drink in a bar you already know then dinner in a restaurant you know is good. There is a lot to be said for returning to a place you like, and hopefully you can afford another exploring-type holiday in the same year. If not, at least you've had a few weeks well chilled out. Calpe is really nice, go for it.

No idea whether Cork is injured, but we are a weaker side without him. I reckon he was one of our three best players last season, so I'm kind of hoping theres a reason for him not playing other than a management decision.

Consider that forwarded.

lofl

I opened the anaesthetist's invoice, went numb and passed out.