scotty

I phoned the ISIS Samaritans hotline once. When I told them I was suicidal they got all excited and asked if I knew how to fly a plane.

I've got an odd feeling that tomorrow is the day they actually will pull the trigger. Maybe that's wishful thinking.

Are you expecting any? (serious question)

Depressingly, right now that actually sounds like an optimistic scenario.

Everyone here is quick to blame the manager, but have any of you stopped to think it might have something to do with the supermoon?

Nor would I, particularly. But as a desperation measure to try and keep us up I could see it happening, in fact that was my first reaction when stoke sacked him. Think I said that on the hughes sacked thread.

I think we've comprehensively demonstrated that we aren't going to win games 1-0.

I normally take Sun pieces with a large pinch of saxo, but that "4+ points from the next two games or Hughes comes in" line sounded quite convincing to me. But dropping points in those would probably mean we're as good as down anyway looking at our fixture list, so I suppose even then they might stick with him.

So we're safe then?

I saw a guy with a cape running down the High Street, and shouted "are you a superhero?" He said "no, I haven't paid for my haircut."

I'd draw the line at her.

Is there a label for someone who will f*ck absolutely anything regardless of age, gender, species or pulse?

:lol:

Trump and piers morgan in the same room. So, it would only take one bomb?

:lol:

Impossible. Simply can't be done.

Fair play to him, but twitter can FRO. :D

:lol:

Bertrand wasn't getting picked much at chelsea, so he must be sh*t as well.

You've always been bitter since L'Oréal sacked you from their marketing department, haven't you.

Don't click the link, it's a phishing site.

There would be a relegation clause on both sides, I would imagine.

This reminds me of master sergeant Ernest Bilko when he placed a heavy bet on his platoon failing to win a singing contest. A corporal said "sarge......betting against your own men!!" Bilko spreads his palms and says "its sordid, but profitable"

It's the same on Sky Spurts.

That's pretty much how I read it, yes. But as both figures are only forecasts I wouldn't set much store by it. There was forecast to be serious damage to the UK economy as soon as we'd voted to leave, but that hasn't materialised much beyond a weakening of sterling, which most economists seem to think was overdue anyway.