Wiltshire Saint

What, because he was suspicious about everything? Is that what makes a relationship serious? 3months in and he is suspicious of his girlfriend.....must be serious. Hello!

I am well pleased to have won the respect and compliments from two of the best posters on this forum. You have both made my day. Thanks.

Who is this Krouchy? I have heard of him, but have never seen him and I don't believe anyine on this site is this Krouchy character. From what I have read about Krouchy, he sounds like a right ****head, a little like INS. Who is INS? I have never heard of him, but I have heard of him. I think you know what I mean? (what I mean is INS = CROUCHIE)

Yes, we get the point. You are a little bit "special" in the head. Besides which, we don't have monkey's in this country and even if we did farm them, the chance of getting their brains into the shops whilst "still warm" is unlikely. Personally, I think the BNP are a bunch of nasty racists. They know they're racists, hence the whinging and crying about their names being made public. The only other people who crave such privacy for their activities are peadophiles.

Here you go....

Tiggs beeped me with his horn.

No one ever saw that video. It was only even seen by the would be MP. Did you not think it odd that he asked you to appear naked with your bum cheeks greased up and spread?

I would emigrate if I thought that openly gay people existed.

I have a friend who lives in Florida. I wonder whether this chap supports the Tampa Bay Bucs as well?

A sample of things to come: I Need A Push A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. 'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it is 3:00 in the morning!' He slams the door and returns to bed. 'Who was that?' asked his wife. 'Just some drunk guy asking for a push,' he answers. 'Did you help him?' she asks. 'No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!' 'Well, you have a short memory,' says his wife. 'Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!' The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, 'Hello, are you still there?' 'Yes,' comes back the answer. 'Do you still need a push?' calls out the husband. 'Yes, please!' comes the reply from the dark. 'Where are you?' asks the husband. 'Over here on the swing,' replied the drunk. Can I suggest you change the sample joke, designed to entice people, to one that is funny.

I shall add this (but I don't really mean it)

INS = Crouchie

Don't let him talk to you like that StL. Ponty is trying to make a monkey out of you. Occasionally he is determined to not understand. Muggy little c*nt.

you are unbelievable. absolutely ****ing priceless

I cannot believe you have said this. Totally absurd.

If you don't classify her comments as racist, then I would like to exercise my freedom of choice to choose these words: You are a retarded f*ckwit (I may have been able to phrase that better) That woman was right to be sacked. When she said her daughter would be freaked out I thought she was talking about a 2 year old or something. Her daughter is 2 years away from being allowed to marry with permission yet has such little life experience she has never seen an Asian person? So clearly the best way to teach her daughter about the different nationalities and colours and religions she may find in this country, she does her best to avoid them all. Clearly racist, clearly stupid and I am glad she has been sacked. Hopefully someone slapped her on the way out as well.

No, that is a hideous idea. An animal with butterfly wings would die if it were underwater. The wings would get all f*cked up and it would drown. You are a sicko. I would like to see a Wiltshire/Boggy cross. :smt117

I went to school with Maxine Carr. True story. We didn't have any luck though.

If I can clarify, by "pipe" I mean penis and the "leaking" was semen. The "pressure" was my blood pressure after an afternoon of rampant homosexual activity. That is just the way J9 works. DSM, you should ask J9 to come and fix your boiler.

J9 once serviced my boiler. By the time he left my house, my pipe was leaking fluid all over the floor and the my pressure had gone through the roof.

I won't be eating with Tom O'Connor this year because he is, apparently, spending the day with Bob Carolgees. Bob now owns a candleshop in Chesire and is going to have a well lit dining table. To be honest, I couldn't give a sh*t what Tom does for Christmas, he's a terrible drunk anyway.

Tom once taught at the same school as the father of Anne Robinson of "The Weakest Link" fame.

I had Christmas dinner with Tom O'Connor last year. True story. An intelligent man, used to be a maths teacher before going into comedy.

Does it have all the dust caps?

You're not insane, just a massive ****/****.