Wiltshire Saint

Gorgeous.

Mature woman, with shoulder length brunette hair which is dyed. I imagine some wrinkles. Possible bad skin and smoke stained teeth. Probably wears cardigans. Aged about 42. Thick thighs and wears jeans that make her bum look quite big. Healthy breasts, though in 6 years they may be more saggy. I'd certainly monkey **** over it.

I remember coming back from a breakdancing class in the mid 1980's, on my brothers racer and I hit a brick that someone had left on the cycle track. I went over the handlebars and could not breakdance for about 3 weeks. In that time I felt alone.

Tissues not ready?

If it were free, then I would murder Jamie Oliver. This is because he has a very fat tongue and says things like "pukka".

I get really mad when women who clearly have a thing for me try to act cool about it all. It's such a playground thing to do.

Dr Strangelove Dr *****er Dr Scrotum Dr Doolittle Dr Hamilton

I have been playing golf for about 6 years now and have got pretty good. The top tips I have are: 1. Get proper golf shoes. 2. Grip properly. Get the club pro to show you. 3. Keep your eye on the ball. 4. Never let go of the club. 5. Keep your head still. 6. Miss out some shots when recording your score. 7. Shout things just as your opponent is about to take their shot. 8. Promise yourself a reward for getting a hole in one, like a beer or something. 9. Sometimes move your ball forward using your hand. 10. Use a mashie niblick.

No, I am not going out of my way to put Barney down. He made a stupid comment and I pointed it out. I was making another point at the same time, so there was no "going out of my way" involved. The EU is not a loony left club. In fact it is quite the opposite of that. The loony left would not encourage the spread og globalisation and capitalism the way the EU does. The loony left would not adopt policies desgined to strengthen the position of multi national companies nor would the loony left subsidise farmers to the degree the EU does, which ultimately makes trade between the richer and poorer nations unfair. The actions of the EU are actually supportive of the right (not the far right). If they decide to take action against the far right, it is not because of their left leanings, but because they are aware that capitalism and the global economy are dependent on stable political situations and governments. The fall out of having a far right party in charge would be too much for the capitalists and globalisers of the world.

Homophobe. Also, with the stuff about students you are beginning to sound like a fat, spade faced ex soldier who works in telesales.

True to form as ever. Is there any topic at all that you cannot turn into a thread about Islam/foreigners/migration/a display of xenophobia? You end your ridiculous post with "I have to LOL at the self righteousness of some on here" after typng this out "I find it laughable that some are happy that this guy died and they think themselves as reasonable people - you're all sick ****ers too if you think that someone deserved to die in that way because they had some pretty hard opinions.". There is irony in there somewhere, I'm sure of it. For what it's worth I have no sympathy for bastards that die. I don't care what colour or religion they are, if they're a c*nt who went out of their way to put others down and discrimate and persecute, then the world is better off without them.

I have a baby gecko! It is 10 weeks old. Cute little fella.

I am not BTF but am replying anyway. Firstly, I am not sure I understand your question as it is not clear. I think you are suggesting that the cabinet office spends £5.7bn and would like to know what on? Just as you have no evidence to back this figure (I'm not sure why BTF would have) I also have no data, but would like to suggest that the cabinet office do not spend this much money. Obviously having no evidence to back up my case makes it only as strong as your suggestion.

This is Gerry, my little doggy! I love him more than my Dad.

Ponty already has the second chin and he seems happy enough. I would like to have grey skin and tusks.

George Michael

I think my friends would enjoy bumming my cold dead body. If it makes them happy, then I would be happy.

He should be made to drink 2 bottles of vodka and drive his mum to Asda as a punishment.

I would like to see an all black defence. I think they would be good. They would be tall and strong and people wouln't want to mess with them. I would like to see white people running things, as in colonial days, in the midfield. Maybe a tall Maasai warrior up front with a little pygmy to play off him.

I am posting this from a party. It is being held at Boj's house and all those who did not register have been invited. Boj has spent all the money earned from the £5 subscriptions on booze and whores and Eddie is singing Electric Avenue.

I have organised an alternative football experience in Wiltshire. We play regularly and to a good standard. The pitch we play on is well maintained and FREE! Afterwards we all go for a beer afterwards and one of our lot was even scouted by Bournemouth! None of you are invited.

Agree totally. Why was Jan not crying? If he cried I think the team would have gone on to win. I would like to see players holding each other when on the bench. I want to see people rocking or lying in a foetal position. This would all be positive and would help us no end.

Still single then Calvin?

+ almost 3000. I agree wholeheartedly with this sensible post. I can see us winning or losing, as does St Marco. I am prepeared to go a bit further by saying I can see a draw as well. I don't mind putting my neck on the line, after all these predictions are just for fun aren't they.

Maybe the thread title could be changed to "The works of Beckett (and their relationships with Sounthampton Football Club)". That way we could keep the thread on track and it would be more interesting than Simon Clifford. I can imagine Skacel talking to John over their lack of involvement in first team affairs: Skacel: We were respectable in those days. Now it's too late. They wouldn't even let us up. (Estragon tears at his boot.) What are you doing? John: Taking off my boot. Did that never happen to you? Skacel: Boots must be taken off every day, I'm tired telling you that. Why don't you listen to me? John: (feebly). Help me! Skacel: It hurts? John: (angrily). Hurts! He wants to know if it hurts! Skacel: (angrily). No one ever suffers but you. I don't count. I'd like to hear what you'd say if you had what I have. John: It hurts? Skacel: (angrily). Hurts! He wants to know if it hurts! John: (pointing). You might button it all the same. Ckacel: (stooping). True. (He buttons his fly.) Never neglect the little things of life. John: What do you expect, you always wait till the last moment. Skacel: (musingly). The last moment . . . (He meditates.) Hope deferred maketh the something sick, who said that? John: Why don't you help me? Skacel: Sometimes I feel it coming all the same. Then I go all queer. (He takes off his hat, peers inside it, feels about inside it, shakes it, puts it on again.) How shall I say? Relieved and at the same time . . . (he searches for the word) . . . appalled. (With emphasis.) AP-PALLED. (He takes off his hat again, peers inside it.) Funny. (He knocks on the crown as though to dislodge a foreign body, peers into it again, puts it on again.) Nothing to be done. (Estragon with a supreme effort succeeds in pulling off his boot. He peers inside it, feels about inside it, turns it upside down, shakes it, looks on the ground to see if anything has fallen out, finds nothing, feels inside it again, staring sightlessly before him.) Well? John: Nothing. Skacel: Show me. John: There's nothing to show. Skacel: Try and put it on again. John: (examining his foot). I'll air it for a bit. Skacel: There's man all over for you, blaming on his boots the faults of his feet. (He takes off his hat again, peers inside it, feels about inside it, knocks on the crown, blows into it, puts it on again.) This is getting alarming. (Silence. Vladimir deep in thought, Estragon pulling at his toes.) One of the thieves was saved. (Pause.) It's a reasonable percentage. (Pause.) Gogo. John: What? Skacel: Suppose we repented. John: Repented what? Skacel: Oh . . . (He reflects.) We wouldn't have to go into the details. John: Our being born?