Bearsy

50 Shades of Grey: Chapter 10 Jose is back b!tches! I've missed him bad we ain't heard from him since he finger-banged her outside Weatherspoons! In the interim period Jose has become considerably more portugese. He is now saying things like "Dios mio!" i ain't looked it up or anything but from the context i'm detecting it means "fvvck me!". Dude don't give up! He's ringing her up while she's meeting dude's mum. Rather rudely she's answering and then she's immediately telling Jose that she's just been boned. Cruel! Jose was really looking forward to getting some of that virgin vag and now it's all ruined! She's rubbing her slack twaat in his face! She's then immediately making sure Christian Grey knows that it was Jose on the phone. This is also typical b!tches! They love telling people when they has got other dudes dogging round! It's the total opposite of how men roll, I go to great lengths to make sure that the b!tches I'm boning know nothing of the b!tches i want to bone. I'm much more considerate! Whereas girls is always telling me oh noes there's this guy at work and he is always flirting on me... it's so annoyings! Right oh. Whatever! Christian Grey ain't so sanguine as me though. He gets all moody bout it. Just like b!tch wanted. I reckon he'd like to start in on her with the cat o nine tails but unfortunately she ain't signed the sex contract yet so he is having to settle with just glowering at her and frowning and stuff. What is his problem? she is asking me. I've warned her bout this before, it's your fvvcking book you figure it out! I can't do all the work! He takes her home. They is driving which is a blessed relief to me cos i've already heard enough bout his dumb helicopter. I could probably fly the fvvcking thing. On the other hand, i now know an awful lot bout his car They stop off at this restaurant. You can't choose what you want to eat they is just serving "whatever they've caught or gathered". Nice. Roadkill and nettles. My favourite! B!tch wants a Diet Coke but she can't have one. They're out of season. You know she met his mum just now? His mum was acting all surprised, i thought it was just the natural awkwardness when you is walking in on your boy licking out a porky retard trussed up in neck-ties, but no, turns out she was surprised cos till that moment she thought he was gay! I still think he might be. He put on Bruce Springsteen in the car (overcompensating! probably if she went through the cd changer it was all One Direction and show tunes) and then he looks at her sincerely and says "Gotta love a bit of Bruce!". It's probably the gayest moment in the book so far. I was so cringing I had to put the book down and watch some porn. Lols! Waitress just brought them some soup! It actually is nettle soup! Sometimes I'm so amazingly prescient! This is one of the proudest moments of my life! B!tch reckons it's "delicious". Nah, you're alright. I had some hawthorns this morning. We is then finding out bout his first boning (he's done 15 birds total) which is what i was wondering bout last chapter, how come it was kinky and not normal? It turns out he done it with one of his mum's mates when he was 15. He's making out it was a woman, but given what his mum just said I'm thinking Jimmy Saville or something. Christian Grey was originally a submissive (translation: bum raped) but now he is a dominant (translation: bum rapist). The waitress comes back with a plate of meat. Badger or something. Anastasia is making out like she's full up with nettles. This causes a bit of a conflict cos he's always going on bout wanting her to eat lots of food. This is one of his things. He's a feeder. He's then dropping her off. Before she goes she's like "By the way... I'm wearing your underwear." She is showing him. "Christian's mouth drops open, shocked." I don't blame him! You take a girl out, you buy her a nice meal of badger and nettles and she is stealing your stuff! B!tch! I always wonder bout what b!tches are like the day after I've boned them. I pretty much forget all bout them and get on with my life thinking bout the football or what's on tv or important stuff like that. What girls do, it turns out, is spend the next ten pages thinking bout me, talking bout me, boasting bout me to Katherine 'Kate' Kavenagh, rubbing my helicopter in Jose's face and wearing my stolen underpants. I knew it!

Hey baby! Has anyone hit on you yet? I can tell just from username that you is hot! I really like what you're wearing or whatever! How come the saintsweb ladies (or "bearsy's b!tches" as I like to think of them) ain't hating on me for these reviews? Possibly they ain't picking up on it but hidden in the subtexts is a very slight air of misogyny in these postings! It's obviously too subtle. Probably they're not concentrating properly cos they is too busy thinking bout their ironing or whatever.

That's front page of tomorrows echo sorted. Wears one on the left, wears one on the right Adam Lallana makes black boots look sh!te

Much as i love you tokyos and i enjoy learning bout japanese, without hannah this thread is losing it's essential appeal! Is it cos of money? has she had better offer from the Pompey forum or something? Double her wages! Keep on doubling them!

It's the most greatest book ever written! What EL James has done is made the first 7 chapters so dumb and boring that when the characters start sucking each other off in chapters 8 & 9 you is so relieved that thou ain't talking no more that even the entirely unnecessary 6 pages I just read bout him feeling her up in the bath is like dostoevskys! It's like how they put Adrian chiles on tv to make Roy Keane seem intelligent

I was wondering when there was other people in the gaff if it was gonna be a whole bunch of his mates and she was gonna get gang banged. I was a bit disappointed when it was just his mum! Maybe it turns out his mum was the one who taught him all the S&M stuff tho... maybe she's gonna pile in! B!tch signed the non-talking agreement but she ain't signed the actual sex-contract yet. That's probably why she ain't getting it too bad yet!

50 Shades of Grey: Chapter 9 B!tch wakes up and she's really sore in the vag. P!ssing razor blades. She's worried he's gonna start in on her with the curtain poles so she comes up with a plan: "I find two hair ties in my bag and quickly put my hair in pigtails. Yes! The more girly I look the safer I'll be." Yeah that ought to do it you dumb fvvck. Put on your school uniform. Dudes hate that. They is then chattin a bit bout the sex last night. She's saying she was loving it. He said he quite liked it too, which was a surprise because he "never had vanilla sex before." This surprises me! I mean I get that he don't have normal sex no more, once you find you like bum rape you tend to stick with it, but I don't get how it was he never had a normal boning. Like my first time, i was in spain with my mum and dad and I'd fixed it so my mate had come with us, and me and my mate met these two girls and one night i fixed it so i was gonna bone one on the beach, and she fixed it so she'd only do it if my mate boned her mate, and i fixed it that he would even tho he weren't keen cos she was butters. So anyway we've knobbed these birds and then I've looked at my mate and my mate's looked at me and I've gone "RUN!" and we've pegged it. I imagine it was much the same for you. What I'm saying tho is if instead of just knobbing her I'd of been popping back to the hotel for nipple clamps and gimp masks.... it would have been a bit weird! It don't happen like that, IMO. So they is then having a bath together. What he is doing is sitting behind her with his legs around her and he is washing her boobs. I like this bit, I'm getting a small boner. I like touching boobs, especially when I'm doing it in such a way that I'm not having to look at b!tch's face. Then she sucks him off in the bath. It's pretty cool how he talks her into this, I've had trouble sometimes with talking chicks into a BJ. Turns out my technique was off. I'm all like give me a bj, she's like lol no! I'm like Please give me a bj but it's too late she's entrenched in her original position. What Christian Grey does is he's like, “I'm gonna fvvck your mouth.” You see the difference? It ain't exactly a question. More difficult for the b!tch to back out of. Few incidentals we are learning: B!tch swallows The room he makes her sleep in is smaller than his toilet She's started calling him "Bluebeard". I don't think it'll catch on. Dude is clean shaven. If anything it suits her better cos we is finding she has big bush He then ties her up on his bed. He's doing this with a neck tie, I spose it's the one on the front cover of the book, the one with the Half Windsor knot. He's tieing her hands up above her head and then he's licking her body and every time she moves her arms he's like "FFS! Now we've got to start again!". Then he's licking her vag and she's like "Aaargh!". B!tch must be proper sore! She calls her vag her "sex". This makes things confusing! It's the first time in 21 years someone of the opposite sex had sex in my sex. There's some strange noises without. His mum walks in. Lols.

Dumbasses! Can you imagine the upper body strength required to buzz a hippo or alligator up over a crossbar! Be realistic FFS! Nothing bigger than a small penguin, IMO.

Can you ask him where he places when they have their running races? Genuinely interested!

I know two things bout cars in general: 1) Never get a vauxhall 2) Getting a used company car is getting arse raped by taxman, cos they tax you like it's brand new.

I just see the highlights. I had a little lol to myself. If this happened to England we'd never hear the bleeding end of it, hodgson would be hounded out of office by the current bun.

pictures+of+bears+jizzing+in+small+boys+face Totally innocent google search! Work computer... "clear histories!"

Yeah i dunno what that's about. It was a gif i found online, i just wanted me bouncing up and down dunno why it's intercut with them kids having a waterfight. Weird.

Undousuru!

The racism stuff is disgraceful, the punch up on the field though that really speaks to my inner bear. I'd like to see more of that stuff! Football should be more like ice hockey, where players are allowed to stop the game every now and again to have a punch up. I love it when it kicks off!

Works for me! Serbian FA goes bankrupt.

Don't worry homes I'm still about! I'll have a read of the next chapter soon as i can sit down again....

Dunno Kraks, I mean Bendtner and Man City was being punished for their own actions. It weren't the Serbian FA out there making monkey noises. At least, I fvvcking hope it weren't!

I'm bummed! It was gonna be a lollathon watching our tricky wingers, Milner and Cleverley.

Lols!

Also, this thread is good, but it needs more hanna minx. If i could only keep one thread, I'd keep the other one!

So them symbol things they use to do their writings... tell me bout them. Is each one like a letter, or is each one like a whole word, or is each one like a syllable. How many is there? Does they take a lot longer to do japan witing than to do england writing?

Dude I'm dumbing it down for the 2-4 year olds! They ain't gonna understand my sophisticated wordplays!

Good idea bro! I've already began illustrating my story! Can you forward this to your dad please!

I am enjoying learning the japanese! Someone told me one time that estonian for 12 months is "Cocks Taste Good" is there similar coincidences in japanese words that i can use on japanese birds for lols?