Bearsy

Ally Biggs swings both ways dude. Deal with it!

Page 1-867,653: nothing happens

Oh, I like your ready wit Tokyos! Here is an abbreviated review for dudes what is just catching up and don't want to read the whole thing: Chapter 1-7: Nothing happens Chapter 8: B!tch gets boned Chpter 9-14: Nothing happens Chapter 15: B!tch gets boned

50 Shades of Grey: Chapter 15 Now she don't want to get bummed. They is arguing bout it. He's saying "But I really want to claim your ass! We won't do it straight away, your ass will need training. It'll need careful preparation, but anal intercourse can be very pleasurable, trust me." "You've done it?" she says surprised. "Yes." B!tch goes quiet for a second. "With a man?" I have to put the book down for a minute cos I'm lolling so bad at that one! They is then going through the list of stuff he's gonna stick up her arse. It's all part of the contract. There is butt plugs which I've heard of before, then there is beads I ain't quite sure bout that I'm picturing them on a string or something, then the next item is eggs... I'm wondering where this is going! I mean butt plugs is fairly normal i spose but now we're into everyday household objects! Telephone. Shoes. Sofa cushions. Eggs is my favourite though. So they sort out the contract thing, then he is kissing on her and messing with her boobs. Then he is taking off her dress and he dips a finger in her vag to check she's wet. Then she sucks him off for a bit. Then he makes her put the condom on his knob. This takes her ages. For the first time in my 21 years etc. Then he knobs her. We hear quite a lot bout the Inner Goddess (curse her!) this chapter. At one point she is getting ice cream. At another point someone is taking her ice cream away. We are also hearing a bit from this new character called her subconscious. I prefer her to the Inner Goddess. Dude has bought Anastasia a new car, and the subconscious is pointing out quite rightly that this makes her a Ho. Dumb converation of the week: GREY: I thought we'd celebrate your graduation. Nothing beats a good Bollinger. STEELE: Interesting choice of words. GREY: Oh, I like your ready wit, Anastasia If you can explain the above let me know! I was staring blankly at the page for like 5 minutes!

I'm loving it! We're on tv a lot more so I don't have to go all the way to St.Mary's and the televised games have all been pretty sweet! Both the 3-2s against the Manchesters were really exciting, and the Villa game second half I got to stick it to the fat brummies down the pub. No complaints!

Yeah if you need someone to finger her up in Weatherspoons car park, I am available. Call my freephone number 0800-DIRTY-BEAR

If FEXMDP is loving the Shades Phil you should try out some of Christian's trademark moves! Turn up unexpectedly and when she is saying What is you doing here you can be menacingly growling "I tracked your phone" Take her to homebase and be buying Cable Ties, Rope and Masking Tape, when she is asking what for be doing a sinister chuckle Tie her up with your necktie and fvvck off down the pub She will be loving these treatments!

Ain't untenable meaning it's all over bar the shouting? I ain't thinking that at all, I'm thinking he's under threat but could still turn it round with a few wins.

Are they serious bout this bpfa thing?

50 Shades of Grey: Chapter 14 For the first time in her 21 years Anastasia Steele has a sex dream. I know what you're thinking, you're thinking I'm making this sh!t up but I swear that's what the b!tch just said! She's at her absolute dumbest at this moment, she's like wait, who took off my manacles, how did i get in this room... hold on is it possible that was a dream? Is it possible that I just had a dream about sex? It's tortuous how long it takes the b!tch to figure this simple fact out. We've all had dreams you ****ing dumb b!tch you don't need to explain the concept! "I was seeing like pictures in my mind but they weren't real!" "What is this? Why am I wet? Is it possible that I just had a wet dream? It's bewildering. I had no idea I could orgasm in my sleep." I hadn't thought bout this before. Is this common for girls? I used to have the wet dreams when i was like 12 or whatever, but it never occurred to me that b!tches have them too. They never mention it. To be honest I think it more likely she p!ssed herself but I will make investigations bout this and let you know. We then find out she's wearing Christian's jacket. This makes me lol! Good luck getting the vag juice out your jacket Christian! Ray, it turns out, is the step dad what taught her the difference between a hawk and a handsaw. He already has my respect, teaching this b!tch complicated concepts like that must have been a real man's job. He's coming to her gaff cos the university thing is today when they give you the square hats. I seem to recall that Christian Grey was sposed to be handing the hats out so i spose he'll be along in a bit. She bangs on a lot bout how much she loves this Ray character, but then the first thing she does is mug him off to me saying bout his ill-fitting suit. Stuck up b!tch. So they go to the university for the square hat ceremony. Here is what she has to say next: "I make my way to seat amongst my fellow students whose Surname also begin with S. I am in the second row." Does this strike you as odd? I mean making them sit alphabetically and they putting the S's in the second row. It strikes me as odd! But then so many dumb things is happening in this book that I barely raise an eyebrow anymore. I'm like yeah whatever, she goes to a special school where S is the second letter in the alphabet. I'm not even surprised. Christian Grey turns up on stage, he's wearing the bondage neck-tie which I'm appreciating. Some of the other girls is chatting bout how hot he is, so Anastasia is telling them he's gay. Lol. He makes a dumb speech bout how he's going to eliminate world hunger, as you do, and he's mentioning that he knows what it's like to be hungry. I'm with him. Sometimes I'm hungry. Anastasia however, I don't know if it's cos in her 21 years she's never missed a meal but she's reacting like he just spent 6 years in a lebanese prison camp. She's like "I swallow, my heart constricting at the thought of a hungry, gray eyed toddler. Oh no.". Alright love. Calm down. Have a Mars Bar. There's a whole dumb thing going on now cos he's moaning at her for not returning his emails and phone messages and she's like "Oh I haven't been checking my phone" and he's like "I was worried bout you driving home in that sh!t car" and she's like "Oh you should have called." I DID FVVCKING CALL YOU DUMB B!TCH WE WAS JUST SAYING HOW I CALLED BUT YOU AIN'T ANSWERING YOUR PHONE FFS! I can see this conversation is going on all night so I skip forward a couple of pages, just in time to catch him mugging her off proper. Someone's asking something and someone's like "I don't know," and she's like "Me neither," and Christian Grey is lolling, "You don't know much." Burn!

Supposedly QPR was gonna give him £60k per week. He told them to get stuffed.

Is you really ill tokyos? Did you catch something nasty from Hannah? Is she no longer Souji?

Not sure you can pin that one on BBC delldays.

Norwich have conceded 17 goals this season. Ten of those goals have come in the two games missed by Sebastien Bassong. Coincidence? Probably. Thought you might be interested tho!

I don't like it when people is all arguing! I always try and make it all nice again with off topic posts. Like yesterday Alpine and some dude was having an argument bout who was most mentally negligent and I used my negotiating skills to twist it into a discussion bout if Whitey Grandad likes anal sex. It sounds like nothing, but I tell you i totally talked them poor souls down off the ledge! Before long it was all hands across the water. I should be in the U.N. / nobel peace prize

Sweet! I hope the first team squad is involved with the search. Given the gravity of the situation, i imagine they was. Personally, I suspect Chaplow hid it somewhere for lolz and for bantz. He seems like the type.

No bother Sue! I ain't sure all the sexisms is my fault, I used to have big respect for women till i spent 200 pages with Anastasia Steele. What worries me most is someone at work said 50 Shades is officially the best selling book of all time. They can't all be reading it ironically! A lot of these women must be sitting around thinking Oh I wish i was a boring fat stupid virgin like Anastasia Steele.

50 Shades of Grey: Chapter 13 B!tch is worried that she's been too negative bout this whole contract thing. She's worried he'll withdraw his generous offer to bum rape her with curtain poles, so when she gets an email from him she is all sh!tting herself bout it, but it's ok, it turns out he's just randomly emailing her the dictionary definition of "submissive". It's a strange move, considering the b!tch supposedly just completed a degree in English at Washington State University. She is then emailing him back the dictionary definition of "compromise". I'm thinking at this point if you've both got dictionarys why can't you look it up your fvvcking self? She is then spending some time catching up with friends that i don't remember meeting before, but she's acting like i do. This happens to me a lot. She's like "I call Ray who is just about to watch the Sounders play" and I'm like who is this Ray of which you speak? What is Sounders? But she don't really clarify. Instead she's like "Paul is back from Princeton before he sets off for New York" and again this is leaving me non-plussed. I wish she'd just stick to the main characters, or at least when I've learned a character like cvvnt Travis from chapter 3 make the effort to keep them on stage. I don't see why we is needing all these new characters. If someone has to go to Sounders, I'd just as soon it was Jose. This Paul seems to be hitting on her tho, up until she rubs her Christian Grey in his face and then he gets all moody. This makes her "inner goddess make a vulgar and unattractive gesture". She's always saying dumb stuff like this about her Inner Goddess. I ain't even entirely sure what she's going on about. I think it's schizophrenia. Every time she meets Christian Grey her Inner Goddess has something dumb to say on the subject. Not exactly say, the Inner Goddess is mute, but she keeps doing stuff like jumping up in the air or touching herself or clapping her hands. I thought Anastasia Grey was the dumbest b!tch in the book, but I'm starting to think the inner goddess might be Down's Syndrome. She's got a date with Christian Grey so we get to hear all bout how she's washing her vag, and shaving her vag and cleaning her boobs and stuff. This will probably work better in the film version. All that is left is for her to "mentally gird her loins" which strikes me as a particularly dumb sentence, and then she goes to meet Christian Grey. We find out all bout what he's wearing and how he's done his hair and stuff but that don't interest me all that much. We then have to sit with them while they have dinner. It takes ages. Here is samples of their rivetting conversations: "What would you like to drink?" "I'll have what you're having please." "Glass of Sancerre. They have an excellent wine cellar here." "Are you hungry?" "No" "Have you eaten today?" "No" "I hope you like oysters." "I've never had one". (Item 276 on things Anastasia Steele ain't never done before) "Did you choose them for their aphrodisiac qualities?" "No, they are the first item on the menu." I like this, that's what I always do when I go to a restaurant, eat the entire menu in order. Freak! This goes on for pages and pages. "Would you like some more wine?" "I have to drive." "Water then?" "Yes." "Still or sparkling?" "Sparkling please." This is all very realistic. I've been with b!tches like that. No conversation. I bet it's really dragging, I bet even the Inner Goddess is checking her watch. Then he wants her to knob her right in the restaurant and she's like lol no! and they is having some sort of disagreement bout it and then she is getting in her car, and being the dumb b!tch that she is both her and her inner goddess is immediately bursting into tears. This is stirring my emotions too. I'm laughing, callously. I like to think Christian Grey is too. Just by way of explanation, all the chapters at the moment is about will she or won't she sign the rape contract. I mean obviously she will. There ain't a lot of suspense bout this, unless you're particually bothered bout if sub-section 6a is gonna say they meet 3 weekends or 4 weekends a month. Basically, we're killing time. But it's coming. B!tch is gonna get bummed, I can feel it!

True dat! But the commercial stations are quite happy making shows that people want to watch, it makes good commercial sense for them cos they can sell advertisings. The BBC should concentrate on making shows people don't want to watch.

Champions League, cheesey! Champions League!

They do need to knock all the reality and cooking and home improvements type shows on the head though, i don't see why they need to spend my money making crap that i could just as easily not watch if it was on channel 5. Also, they shouldn't be showing movies unless they made them themselves.

Ain't Downton on ITV? That's like when Alan Partridge was trying to ingratiate himself with the BBC commissioning dude and all he could come up with was ITV shows like Inspector Morse or whatever, then finally he hits on a BBC show and he's like "I want originality, quality and excellence, so I go home, sit in front of the tv and watch Noel's House Party and I think to myself "Thank God for the BBC".

Fess up Charmin' you naughty toilet bear!

I've done an updates. This weeks big mover is Cheesey! SAINTSWEB INFRACTIONS LEADERBOARD: Glasgow Saint - 27 hypochondriac - 20 Alpine Saint - 14 Cheese on Dune - 12 Thedelldays - 12 Turkish - 6 Deano6 - 4 ericofarabia - 4 CB Fry - 3 Jonnyboy - 3 Bearsy - 1 Dibdeu Pirleu Saint - 1 Hamster - 1 skint-saint - 1 smirking saint - 1 St.Chalet - 1 suewhistle - 1 Trousers - 1 Spudgun - 1/4 Hatch - 0 Pap - 0 Secret Site Agent - 0 Scotty - 0 Tokyo-Saint - 0 Let me know if anyone is missing or underscored please b!tches!