rallyboy

Not sure who had a worse night, Southgate or Sunak. At least Gareth gets another chance and will probably progress, whereas Rishi, well, every time he opens his mouth another thousand voters switch off. He still doesn't realise that every time he boasts about furlough and how he protected us all, every single freelance or self-employed worker in the UK that he abandoned, is counting down the hours to polling day when they will come together to bang a few million nails into his political coffin.

They do seem to be a pair of twats. But anyone who think Stonehenge is from the dawn of time needs to look beyond the hype. It was a pile of interesting historic rubble that we rebuilt and cemented in place during the 60s - it's nothing but a tourist con. And it's not very big.

Very sad news, my best wishes to his family and friends. I'm glad he was there to share Wembley with us all.

I haven't seen the full fixture list yet, when are the two pompey derby games?

I had the misfortune of seeing the Telegraph on Saturday and suddenly it all makes sense. It leads with marvellous news about our beloved princess of Wales with an enormous shot of her leaning against a tree, like the cover of a 70s easy listening LP. The rest of the front page leads to a heavyweight and probing piece on the fantastic MP Suella, written by one of her former university friends, telling us how great she is, how everyone in Fareham and Waterlooville loves her and what a super leader she would make, in fact, it's so glowing it's as if she wrote it herself. Down the bottom it claims nasty Labour has launched a bitter class war, alongside a cartoon suggesting Tories are great at managing the economy and Labour are reckless... Inside it gives a whole page to scaremongering and massive tax fibs direct from Tory HQ, even trying to link Starmer and Corbyn together, opposite a page where they manage to carefully weave an attack on the leftie woke BBC with a free plug for Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage. I didn't get beyond page 5, it's a shadow of a real paper, aimed squarely at easily-led pensioners - but it explains a lot if some people are still stupid enough to gulp down this lazy drivel masquerading as news.

Penny was shockingly bad, talking over people, nothing to say, bullying, dressed like some end-of-the-pier Thatcher tribute act, just spouting lies, more talking over, more lies. How anyone can vote for this chaotic shitshow is beyond me, seriously, please, who really believes that another five years of this insanity is a good idea? But, but RB you woke remoaner pinko, Labour will make it worse, tax, blah, blah, war, danger....Corbyn...tax...Covid....Putin, blah, blah....clear plan....no plan....tax.... It's like being bottom at Christmas with no points, having not scored since September, but saying that changing the manager now might make things worse, just give him another ten games, we're only 15 points adrift... The architects of this clusterfuck all merrily danced alongside fuckwit charlatan Boris the Eton clown down a potholed cul-de-sac of incompetence, laziness, dogshit, lies and corruption, all of the cabinet ministers happily laughing at the stupid poor people as the Tory donors were given millions of pounds in taxpayer cash - haha, look at the stupid oiks in their little levelled up food banks, vote for self-harm you fucking red wall morons! When Boris tried to protect one sex offender too many they decided the totally inept Truss was the saviour, everyone knew that was insane, literally fucking everyone! Now it's dishy Rishi the political giant trying to carry the big boy baton, with his 'unusual' business dealings and ill-fitting trousers - and the lies are still flowing like the mighty rivers of shit destroying our countryside as water company shareholders pocket millions. Surely even the thickest voter, the most easily-led must now understand that they have been shafted. There are no new hospitals, no boats have stopped, nothing has been levelled up, there are no GP appointments, the schools are crumbling and our country has been destroyed by these greedy self-serving arseholes. If you don't want change, whether it be Labour, Lib Dems or the Greens, you are either a billionaire donor up to your ears in filthy corruption, or you need sectioning, and even for that you'll have to wait in a fucking corridor. But I'm still undecided.

Any actual thoughts?

Interesting stats analysis by Ed Conway on Sky, explaining the fine detail of manifesto claims, in layman's terms. For instance, when the PM says that inflation is back to normal, which could be construed as technically true, in reality the chart looks like a car crash. Ditto for taxation. Get beyond the sound bites.

Had the sycophantic journalists who have been taking it easy on the government and attacking the opposition for the past eight years decided before now to call out the bullshit and spin, people like Rigby would have more street cred. But they let all the lies go unchallenged for too long and as such they have been part of the problem. Too little, too late.

Real world problems? This is a politician trying to influence thick people. All this talk of dangerous times is an electoral distraction from the UK's main issues and the failings of this bunch of clusterfuck charlatan crooks, many financed by Russia - we all know Rishi doesn't give a flying fuck about our armed services. Let's get back to what really matters to the average voter in this campaign, it's not can we take on Putin at nuclear war?, it's how the fuck do I feed the kids?

Personally I'd rather prioritise things like the NHS being functional again before worrying about getting tooled up for a nuclear war.

They were all terrible just over a year ago.

Would it be fair to say that RM has relied on a football philosophy that should translate into results even better with really top class players? If so he must make the next Chelsea shortlist in the autumn. That's presumably why Kompany got the massive promotion after a season of failure on the pitch - Bayern have looked beyond the 5-0 defeats, whether they are right or not is still to be decided.

Rishi spent the whole show making up shit. I think his speech writers have given up and just send him out with crap material - chuck in his crap delivery and inability to think of anything useful and he's fucked. Starmer on points for me, mainly for being less annoying.

We are very clear, unprecedented, Covid, Putin, dangerous times, safe with us, Labour unfunded with no plan, something about Wales, we're smashing the gangs, plan is on course, union paymasters, more money into NHS, waiting lists down, nasty doctors, fastest growing economy, we've never had it so good, more police and teachers, plans working, can I have a smaller lectern?... Yawn.

You did the right thing, I saw Matt Hancock on Westminster Bridge last year and my first thought was to tell him exactly what he is. I didn't as I was in behaving mode, but I regret it.

You can barely see the room for elephants.

The orange criminal's gone madder. He reveals the shocking truth that his witnesses were literally crucified, he confirms that Biden is going to quadruple taxes and ban cars, reveals that every business in New York is false accounting and tells us that the nasty judge went into his full life history, for the first time ever. Also, apparently his world's bestest election expert witness wasn't allowed to testify, even though there was no anything that ever happened. So that's all sorted.

I have it on very good authority that Leeds got slightly ahead of themselves. Ipswich hired two open top buses ahead of their last game but held off getting the vinyl done and kept them locked away as a secret until promotion was achieved. Leeds hired the same pair of buses and spent approx £50k on having them both wrapped with promotion messages....last week. Can anyone else hear the sound of buses reversing?...

Nice wind-up. Difficult to ignore the politics when he is literally shoehorning election messages about serving the community into the same fucking sentence. I hope he enjoyed the season like we all did but that doesn't give him a free pass for what he and his wife have done with taxpayers' money over furlough, the money invested in Russia, and those trade deals that suit his family.... I'm with Russell on this one.

It's still brilliant this morning, and the whole summer to enjoy it, only interrupted by some England debacle that doesn't really matter anyway. You've got to savour these times, historic moment, special day, fucking love it.

What a brilliant day.

Woke at 3.30am. Keep telling myself, it's just a game, just an ordinary game....enjoy the day... Travel well everyone.

Everything he's done this week has been a total shitshow so I'd prefer it if he just watched it on telly a long way away.

In this nanny state I think we all need an escape goat. Paula currently getting battered around the room like a Chipperfields chimp. One for the kids.