rallyboy

At five-a-side when players take shortcuts across the keeper's D then say it's okay because they didn't touch the ball inside it.

When we sold Lovren to Liverpool he played like we hadn't given them the user manual. Is this the guy who can unlock the full talent of our Man City crop, and other youngsters? Though there will be potential for some lively debates between him and Jones, conversations that need to be had....

Scores the late winner in the cup final against Boca and celebrates in front of their fans causing a mass brawl and red card fest... He sounds alright to me. 😎👍

I had a crazy dream last night, Lyanco was bossing Zaha, Armstrong scored, two goalkeeping howlers - but at the other end....it was the craziest shit. The perils of a late night cheeseboard.

Our name is clearly on the cup! Somewhere around the back, down there on the left.

Nah, the light show was shit - it just became the highlight of the evening 90 minutes later.

Must win.

How would force-feeding all adults advanced or pure and applied maths at the age of 18 be progress, other than as a headline-grabber to distract from all the other shit? The priority should be improving basic maths, learned in those seven years between the ages of five and ten.

Bloody leftie press, spreading facts about. 😡

Incredible delivery service. I ordered something, no urgency, turns out it was only in the US, a guy even rang me from New York to check the order... New Jersey to Hampshire, standard service, from order to delivery - 38 hours. Are you watching Royal Mail?

A cabinet minister assisted a company to get £500m from taxpayers, and they gave him 20k. Other than laughing at his poor backhander, anyone want to defend that?

That was fucking dreadful, but a neutral might observe that sections of the crowd booing at the first individual error after 15 minutes told us more about those fans than it did about the keeper. Let's just step back from the wreckage and look at it from the manager's point of view - he's inherited a crap squad with zero confidence, and even the 'better' players were lost souls. After weeks of training and players talking the talk, he needed to see the squad stress-tested in game conditions, and blimey, he's just learned a lot of lessons in a week. Now he can go to the board with an emergency shopping list, but he must be given some time, even though we don't have much, because this is not his team, he's been given half a bucket of trade magnolia and people are expecting the Sistine Chapel ceiling in 15 minutes. Now, if he is still generating performances like that in a few weeks, then he can own it, and his appointment will have been a mistake. Hopefully he saw what we saw and he acts on it, rather than repeating mistakes on loop, in the style of the previous regime.

Wow, what a heart-warming forum moment that is, and in the season of goodwill too. It was like watching Israeli soldiers hugging Palestinians - while explaining that bulldozing their houses would offer them more outdoor leisure space.

Merry Christmas everyone, let's hope the strangers from the east gift us three precious things tomorrow.

Southern Water - they can't supply homes with actual fucking water, because they've redirected all the infrastructure investment money into bonuses, dividends and shareholder hedge funds, but if you prefer your local waterways flooded with human shit, they can find money to fund that immediately.

My daughter was inspired by the Euro success, she plays football, and I'm bloody proud of her. The standard of games isn't great but that is irrelevant, she's doing what she wants to do, having fun, enjoying sport, inspired and encouraged by our best players who have been fantastic role models. But if I ever wanted her to think I was a creepy weirdo unable to disguise my dark backward views, I'd call her sport the chick game. In the meantime, I'll just enjoy sharing a love of football with her. Like a normal man would.

But what about the joy of getting asked to comment after someone has done a shocking job! No holds barred, gloves off, 0 out of 10 on all questions, great therapy. 😊

After reading it he now seems as upset as anyone, poor guy - not quite upset enough to apologise but he's clearly now a victim. He used to be an obnoxious cnut, and this latest episode suggests that not much has changed.

He was invited to the Palace because we have a free press? It's not a great look.

How can the UK allow a deranged elderly sex pest to write articles of racist hatred and abuse in The Sun to satisfy his dark army of wanking gammony freaks, but still get invited to the Palace?

Cabinet minister caught out lying on the BBC again. Is Dowden trying to mislead us, or is he just so thick that he parrots any old drivel he's told to say? Bit of both I reckon, we need a moron cull at the top.

Run it off mate, old school.

Poland missed a trick. I'd have paid good money to watch Bednarek mark Messi, it could have been a very different game...

No permanent change was demanded, FIFA negotiated aspects of this world cup with Qatar and agreements were reached. Several of those agreements have been ripped up at the last minute. It's not too complex.

Did FIFA lost control of their own tournament when they sold it to Qatar? The hosts appear to have gone rogue and are now doing whatever they want - from beer sales to keeping fans outside or banning entry for a hat. And it's not about the laws of the country, these things were all discussed, negotiated and agreed in advance, but Qatar are now ripping up those agreements and making up new rules every day. As an advert for what a wonderful place it is and how everyone's welcome, it's been a total clusterfuck. So the sooner their awful team is battered for a third time and relegated back into the shadows of world football, the better.