rallyboy

The best striker outside the Premiership? For starters, that's a rugby competition, so that is quite a claim. And pompey have fallen so far they have not a clue about what is happening in bigboy football. They think that every coach who shows promise in the 4th tier is the next England manager, and that any player who scores a couple of goals against Barnet or Newport is destined for Chelsea or Man City. How far do they have to fall before reality floods in and washes away these insane delusions of mediocrity??

Good point that - were it against someone other than Barnet.

A good purchase to strengthen a weak area as he clearly has quality - but I don't think I'll be rushing out and getting his name on a shirt quite yet. He will either become a cup legend or that bloke who played three games for us and then went to Stoke for his retirement.

We were 90 minutes away from getting an invitation but Sunderland forgot to put a stamp on it. (unlike Vardy)

While we do see some horrific haircuts these days and some players need a slap, how does FIFA feel about referees using their powers to impose religious codes? I'm not sure that the beautiful game should be used as a tool to enforce anything of that sort. It is a sport for all ages and genders, it brings people together and sells us Coke and McDonalds, it's not for promoting religions.

Leicester could finish bottom at the rate they are going, there is still no sign of hope. Palace and Bournemouth are going to get involved, while Sunderland, Boro and Hull look incapable of pulling clear. It will be interesting to see who can put a run together, I reckon Leicester, Palace and Sunderland could go - but it might be decided in the last ten minutes of the season...which will be exciting for everyone else to watch!

That is such a poor division that I still can't see them dodging promotion again, that would be an epic achievement. So tonight is the big one - win at home and I suspect they will scramble into third for the rest of the season. That would mean they could rejoin bigger clubs like Bury, Rochdale and Fleetwood. But credit where it's due, and they do love a bit of credit. They have come a a long way in five years - from the bottom of League One, all the way to...half a dozen places below that.

Interesting read ta - it looks like the game has come a long way from steaks for pre-match meal and a fag at halftime. And it's good to see that we appear to have developed a sports science approach that should be a blueprint for others to follow - with no reference to hockey or rugby!

What a pleasant surprise. We appear to have stumbled across someone who is able to strike a decent blow to a cow's arse with a banjo.

The difference with VVD is that everyone had the opportunity to buy him when we did - it must be the most public transfer we have done in recent years. We haven't unearthed a gem, as in Poch, Mane, Lovren (!), Koeman, Alderweireld, Clyne, Pelle etc - the whole world knew that we were in for VVD and they had all seen him play, no one else was interested. Hopefully, whatever it was that discouraged them back then, still does now.

That's kind of him to make himself available for the Wembley gig.

I know top strikers are the preserve of the well-funded elite but we do seem to be gathering a collection of forwards who are not quite there - it's all a bit quantity over quality at the moment.

In health news, another glorious victory for the spiritual home of the few. The Shepherd's Crook, the traditional home pub within a fat squirt of Fratton Park, has scooped the Portsmouth City Council award for the dirtiest pub on Portsea. When visited by health inspectors it was the only pub in the city to score zero in hygiene ratings.

Is the club really five years old already? - how times flies when you are jealous.

Run Nige, run as far away from that place as you can get.

pompey recruit promising Championship full back - at last, something that matches the ambition of the floodlights! (in reality - a player last seen in Wolves reserves squad)

If I was you I would be wary. If there is any borrowing or a deadline involved then trouble is likely to appear when you least need it. While there are profits to be made, you need a lot of wiggle room to prevent it turning into two years of hell. Approach with extreme caution - and expert advice.

They've realised that ownership of the comatose giant is too big a job - for themselves. It's the pressure of their own virtual cup final, they are weighed down by their own inner expectation. Sort of. Or some other twaddle about warchests, rallying cries and plucky heroes.

Any high points? Yeah, the ref blowing the final whistle. You have to admire that cheeky Scouse sense of humour... Though he does look like a bloke who is ready to confront the next fan who tells him where he is going wrong. Tune in next week for more play-off-based laughs.

Excellent! So they have signed an international centre forward.

He's been on a very long trek trying to rediscover his long lost street cred - Paramount bought the rights but Harrison Ford turned it down because it wasn't that successful a search.

Rose-tinted virtual strip lights!

Does he chuck in a fresh MOT and a set of mats with every goal?

No, he joined them for the love of it, and that went for the backroom staff and players as well. Many took pay cuts - none of them grabbed at the longest contracts in League Two on inflated wages through greed. It's all about the honour of playing in front of the nearly sold-out, nearly fan-owned, fat-free faithful.

The League Two's sleepiest minnows must be doing something right if bigger clubs like Chesterfield are trying to poach their manager.