Verbal

If anyone hears of any vacancies at the club I've actually got secret filming on my CV.

That argument, which Hellboy himself resorted to, is real look-at-me-I'm-a-genius stuff - and only really relevant if you're interested in studying how previously he brilliantly moved Boro out of the autos down to 5th.

I'd prefer it if the two of them could say they've done some journalism so that they can tell us whether it's actually true. It wouldn't totally surprise me, but on the other hand it's in the Telegraph.

What?! We now urgently need a stand-in DT to depress the hell out of us.

The season of the bollocks-talkers is upon us.

And the prize for the quickest reverse ferret in Saintsweb history goes to

Quid infernum

Will it help if I have a rest too?

With or without an arsehole?

That's so unlike absolutely anyone else on here

Welcome to the dark side. We've been waiting for you.

I'll just stick with my camel, thanks all the same.

Nailed on

Thank the lord my Arsenal-obsessed son was given some lovely Bose headphones just before the game. Noise-cancelling, too - so he couldn't hear a word I screamed.

If thinking Bazunu was a poor keeper is a mark of being hoi polloi then feel free to call me common.

I like it! Also, playing with no goalkeeper at all is the ultimate sign that we're the overlords.

In Grandad's defence, I think you're dismissing too easily the possibility that Edozie inflated his own shirt as he suddenly fell backwards to the ground.

Not too sure from the purple prose, but I think the Norwich fans forum are accusing us of time-wasting towards the end. Can't imagine it myself. "I noticed in added time at the end of the second half that this hulking Southampton wandered over to take a corner and spent quite a while examining the quadrant minutely before finally, after several trial attempts, putting the ball on what apparently was the perfect spot to the millimetre, with all the care and precision of someone placing a symbolic stone in a Japanese miniature garden. Heart-warming to see someone taking pains to that extent."

Top reason for us winning today, according to the wiseacres on the Coventry fans' forum, is that we're managed by Hannibal Lecter. "If you told me Eckhart was responsible for a horrible crime I wouldn’t be at all surprised. Dead behind the eyes. Cold. Odd."

How about now?

Didn't the club say he just thrown a stiffy for the second half v WBA?

Oh thank god. I love it when these things are decided in advance.

The funny thing about Ross Stewart doing his shush celebration was that no one had heard a peep out of the Fulham fans all afternoon.

So Verbal Junior and I both got ejected from the game in the final minutes. We will live in eternal shame. I hope it ended well

Donald Trump. Assuming...