tony13579

A couple of points, the gatso cameras fit around 600 photos on a standard 35mm film. Also if the op received two letters from plod requesting who was driving for both the correct and incorrect time within the14 days he MUST reply to both

It would be peverting the course of justice to own up to a speeding offece that happened at 11am when you were not driving at that time. Peverting the course of justice is an imprisonable offence. Keep quiet until 14 days has passed as a second form could be issued within the 14 days. Its funny no one at hampshire got prosicuted when they falsified documents to obtain a summons.... or wrongly prosicuted hundreds of motorists on Millbrook Rd where the speed limit signs were missing. Or Mile end Road Pompey, or outside Fareham college.... Oh and I forgort Eastern rd Fareham...

In 2002 the other half recieved some meds that were based on hamster parts (sorry Hampster).. Those meds have now moved on a step to a 100% synthetic med. the point I am making is that without the reletvly short period of animal based med the synthetic one would probobly never have been developed.

Cos there were no problems at Pompey before Nov 2011...... DOH!

Thin lizzy....

Lets face it they could just text the post match excuses to a robot after the game

Apparently "50 shades of grey" is the first book in history where there is no need for it's readers to lick their fingers to turn the pages.

Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Definition of pornography: Reading material to be held in * one* hand!

Put down "Shades of grey" and type with two hands......

Who was the tory mp, minister for Wales who couldn't sing the national anthem

A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman, "I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle." "Do you think it will work?" she asks. "It's worth a try." he says. So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest. After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this.". "What?" asks the priest, "what happened?". "You gave birth to a child!". "But that's impossible!" says the priest. "I just did the operation," insists the doctor, "it's a miracle! Here's your baby." About fifteen years go by, and the priest realises he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says, "Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father." The son says, "What do you mean, you're not my father?" The priest replies, "I am your mother. The archbishop is your father.".

An observant chap died one day and was waiting in a very long line for judgment. He noticed that some people, after they went through the line, were able to go through Heaven's Gates. Others were lining up behind Satan who was throwing most of them into the eternal fires of hell. Every once in while, though, instead of tossing a poor soul into the fire, he would toss him/her to one side. After watching for hours, the fellow could not resist. He gave up his place in line and went over and tapped Satan on the shoulder. "Excuse me, sir," he said. "I'm supposed to be in line for judgment, (he didn't want Satan to mistake him for someone who had already been condemned to hell) but I couldn't help but wonder why some of these people are being tossed aside instead of into the fires of hell?" "Oh," Satan said with a snicker. "Those are Americans. These days they're too wet to burn.

A cat is walking along the river, when it sees a cocktail sausage floating in the water. It jumps in to get the sausage and gets its paws wet. The next day its walking down the river again when it sees a jumbo sausage in the river, it jumps in to get it and gets its legs wet. The next day it walks down the river and sees a huge Cumberland sausage. It jumps in to get it and its whole body gets wet. What's the moral of the story? The bigger the sausage, the wetter the pussy!!! ....... Jokes about German sausages are the Wurst.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

There were these two fish in a tank... And one turns to the other and says " do you know how to drive this thing?"

I wouldn't put my house on the line. But a caravan? ;-) Smart owners of a controversial web site would make it a limited company.

There is not much chance of avoiding this. It's a street lit 30 limit. So as long as there is a camera sign and the camera is yellow you can't fight it on signing. If the white lines were 2m lines with 5m gaps you could argue it had road markings of a 40+ road. 40 & 50 mph limits are far easier to fight on signing.

Mean while, in twitter land...... TheRealSaliman said @ollybirchpfc tomorrow we r calling Trevor and my uk team will call the fl to take an appointment 14 October 2012 21:55:37 from Twitter for BlackBerry® retweeted by @ollybirchpfc @TheRealSulaiman just a quick question Sulaiman, will you be pledging to the Trust bid once we take control of the club? 14 October 2012 19:42:41 by ollybirchpfc

I think that might have been one of us???

David guest, just gives me the creeps Crankies, ditto Mandleson. Fake lord, fake posh accent

Sibbons roofing ;-) unless its a disaster zone £400 should cover it.

When

I agree that the UK is taxed as much as it can afford. We have to reduce our spending without harming the things that are genuinely essential. Our hospitals elderly care ,roads, infustructure, education, ports, factories are essential. So is our international reputation and banking. any thing that produces exports. What is not essential is huge spending in road narrowing, oasis academies, police HQs. More service industry jobs. All that grand paving round the guildhall. Any public scheme like an art gallery must be costed on its total cost. Not the bit of money from donations, a bit from the council, a bit from Europe and a bit from the lottery. Because in the end ALL the money comes from us and out of our economy! We cannot afford to save every crumbling stately home, gothic public loo, every writers house. We cannot fund 200 potential tennis champions. What do they add to the economy? You have to decide, do you want to fund the art gallery, the tennis hopefully or do you want your gran to have a dignified old age? You also have to decide whether to have a new car every 2 years and work till you are 67 or keep your car a few more years and retire at 60. I worry about my pension not being enough. If I am lucky it might be between £11&15,000 depending on when I retire. That is a lot more than most people will get. Loads of people will just get state pension, when they reach 67...... £107 per week. £428 a month That will be squeezed. Fuel is going up to cover grand eco schemes. Services are reducing. How are you supposed to buy glasses, hearing aids, dental charges, repair your boiler, or get your feet or hair done. Hospital services are being rationalised. Southampton kidney patients go to Portsmouth for dialysis. Heart services are going to fewer centres. Travel costs are high. We spend £60 a month going to The Brompton hospital. Parking charges are just another tax. What I spend on parking I can't spend else where. I can't spend it keeping the economy afloat or save it for my pension. If its for business it goes on the retail price of my product. It makes my export goods less competitive. Councils see it as free money. they fritter it on more paving and contesting our roads. We all have a lack of savings, but what is the point of saving to get a measly 3% interest! The trouble is we will have loads of poor pensioners. If pensioners have no cash reserves they will need grants when their boiler brakes. They will qualify for means tested benefits. Employee share saves. I do an employe share save. But it is limited to £250 per month. If the government let me save more I could have a better safety net in retirement. There would be less chance of me needing state help in the future.. ISA's great idea but the banks are keeping the profits and making a mockery of the scheme. The £3000 per year limit and low interest rates make these schemes useless. There is no incentive to save.. Setting up a business is hard, too hard. We need cheap business properties, simple schemes to help you comply with legislation. Easy schemes to help you employ people. Cheap reliable postage, phones, transport, export channels, fast imports. ( not held for 21 days by customs and parcel force!) Stamp duty, stamp duty on houses over £250,000 is too much. We spent £10k on stamp duty, we couldn't do that too often! It restricts free movement of business starters. It's another £10k that is not in our pension pot. Planning permission, social housing, section 105 agreements, school buildings and sports facilities huge road schemes, non car transport etc. is driving up new home costs.. Typically a new home is taxed £30k providing contributions to all these. £5000 of all new homes is spent is spent on cycle paths, bus shelters, etc, etc. when I say spent, it is collected, and stashed by councils. Some is spent. Our parish has a huge pot looking for ways to spend it. All those huge offset roundabouts, traffic lights, pinch points, table junctions add costs to new homes, and cause congestion. It all costs money, not much of that money will help our economy. It is time to wake up and smell the coffee!

If you have his driving licence number I am sure some fun could be had. Find an abandoned car and then fill the forms to register it in his name ;-)