Lighthouse

No, you'd swap the last 2 months for what we've had. When we played West Ham two months ago we were on 23 points, they were on 24. The 11 years previous to that there really was very little to choose between the two clubs.

Not really, like us they’ve had a handful of decent seasons and a handful of crap ones. We’ve had a domestic cup final and a couple of semis, they’ve won the third best competition in Europe. I’m not knocking a cup win, I’m sure I’d love being a Hammer tonight, but they’ve hardly left us eating their dust over the last 11 years.

That was an absolute cracker of a cricket match. Young Currie had a bit of a torrid time of it but fair play keeping his composure I that last over. Some excellent death bowling and Turner had a great game. Another win in the bag, we’ve nothing to fear from here on.

I don’t think we’ve been watching the same AMN. Being crap in every position you’re asked to play doesn’t make you versatile. We put out one of the poorest teams in Premier League history and AMN never really looked like displacing any of them. He just filled in here and there and looked mostly disappointing.

Singing, "Jason Puncheon sh*ts on your wife," to Kevin Philips was a bit of a weird one, although that was back in the Championship. Having said that, nothing we sing at a football match will be as embarrassing as the fans who smash up town centres, start fights with other fans or chase their own players down the street.

Agreed, I don’t know how we’ve managed to regress so badly when it comes to sponsors logos. 20 years ago we had decent quality lettering individually stuck on with the Friends Provident logo and they stayed on in the wash. These days it seems to be a big piece of white plastic, which stands out against the pattern of the actual shirt like a sore thumb and feels like a Twix wrapper has been glue on with Pritt-stick.

TBF Ukrainian tractors have proven to be a deadly scourge of Russian armed forces so far, I'd probably fear them more than the Leopards.

I think we got Holden out seconds after I posted that. We’ll file it under ‘got away with one’.

Fem 2/2 we’re now being slapped all over the pitch. 164 isn’t going to be enough today.

No way Daws is getting in the Ashes squad at this short notice, I reckon it’ll be Ahmed.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-65806152 I guess that's it then. Months of preparation all over in 20 minutes this morning.

https://dvlaregistrations.dvla.gov.uk/search/prefix-number-plates.html?numbers=4&letter1=E&letter2=L&letter3=K&action=results&pricefrom=0&priceto=&prefixmatches=&searched=true&openoption=yes&language=en&super=w43lk&super_pricefrom=0&super_priceto=&origp=W&orign=4&origl=ELK&research=1&prefix=&fpsearch=1 I tried W4 ELK but the closest available is F4 ELK for £600. Would you like me to change your username, Fhelk?

My car has got my name written in binary on the plate. As you can imagine, it’s an absolute, military strength pussy magnet.

I’ve spent the day at Thruxton and Christ, the number of people who just sit there in direct sun all day and roast without a drop of sun cream is incredible.

I think my favourite memory of Hazard is of him not scoring all season in 2015/16, then turning up to thump in an absolute world against Spurs to stop them winning the title.

Eden Hazard being released on a free, so that's a good cheap replacement for Moi lined up.

F**k me, that was a good evening out. I thought we were making a meal of it when we let them have 144 after being 66-6, followed by 1 off our first two overs but fair play, that was an absolute walloping in the end. Being ultra critical, I’m not sure I’d have gone with the extra bowler, given how we bat. That looked like a bit of a long tail to me, considering how we’ve been batting.

When was goal we conceded which was a yard offside? Or one we had disallowed which was a yard on? Or penalty we conceded where a player was literally never touched and threw himself to the floor?

Without it we have absurdity like Henry vs. Ireland, Fonte vs. Brighton and David Silva’s goal against us in 2014. You can debate whether that was really a penalty but the point is it was debatable, rather than a travesty, which is what VAR removes.

VAR doesn’t do anything other than give officials a better look at an incident. If you have a gripe it’s with the officials, who are capable of making equally bad decisions in real time.

Which I'd say is fairly obviously what's being negotiated. Neither club wants this dragging on for another month but Swansea are quite obviously not going to just give up a chunk of cash without a fight. It'll be some sort of compromise, eventually.

There’re no such things as rubbish clubs, it’s all about the set which works for you. Too many ‘all the gear, no idea’ types playing golf.

I wouldn’t say we’re a one man team but we’re not far off a one man batting unit. That said, useful 21 off the last. Big total to defend now.

A club without a pot to piss in are being dick by holding out for money they're entitled to?

My phone properly dropped me in it with my ex. a couple of times. It corrected, "can't wait to see you later," into, "can't wait to see you Katie." It also changed, "I love you baby," to, "I love you Abby." My ex. was called neither Katie nor Abby, needless to say this caused a couple of 'discussions'.