dinger

His face is beautiful.

I've gone on a colossal Saturday Prince bender. All the albums, back-to-back, chronologically. Or at least until I find myself wearing high-heels and feathers. Into the fourth album now. Things are getting fruity. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISZacjyerqc

I once knew a man from Nantucket.

I can't see that it's worth getting that worked up about TBH.

I don't think this forum is even representative of the people who post on it. There are about a dozen people on here with consistently extreme, debate provoking views, which skews the picture a bit in terms of representation. And you also have to look at how often people come straight here to react to news. The Adkins sacking was a prime example. I was pretty angry about that immediately, and I don't often do angry. But I posted about it in the heat of that reaction. Then I went home and thought about it and by the time I was in the pub talking about it the next day, my opinions were a lot more measured. I would imagine that sort of scenario is true for a lot of people on a lot of the subjects discussed on here.

"the reality couldn't be further from the truth" - I'm sure that was meant to be ironic, wasn't it?

Right on so many counts. I'm not a sun worshipper. I do however love ham, but have a twang of conscience over the environmental impact of my meat consumption. The ham hand answers all my ethical questions.

From the ever excellent F365 Mediawatch: Line By Line Joe Kinnear might be unwell. We might be dreadful people for laughing at him. But, as Newcastle have apparently given him a job that would seem to indicate all/most of his mental faculties are there, it's OK to mock him. Kinnear spoke to SHOUTsport on Monday evening. You'll almost certainly be aware of this, and you may have listened to the whole thing, shifting uncomfortably in your seat while doing so. If not, there are a few bits we'd like to highlight. The italics are Kinnear's comments, the following text is what we'd like to call 'reality'. "Derek Llambezee was the director of football. Derek has resigned now." He's talking about Derek Llambias, who according to The Daily Telegraph, is Newcastle's managing director and has never been director of football. "Where have these people been - have they been on another planet? I have played in five cup finals, I have won the lot. I had over 400 games for Tottenham Hotspur, been manager of the year three times. I have travelled all over the world as a manager." Kinnear was LMA manager of the year once, in 1994. He has received several manager of the month awards, and perhaps he has his own personal manager of the year award that he dishes out every year. In which case, it's very modest to only have given it to himself three times. Oh, and by 'travelled all over the world as a manager', he means 'I managed India in 1984 and Nepal in 1987.' "That's the people up there or the people round that area that I have upset and they have a grudge so I expect it. It's water off a duck's arse." Actually, when the water has travelled off the duck's back, it probably will reach the arse, so we'll give him that one. "I bought Dean Holdsworth for 50 grand - sold him for £3m. I sold John Scales for £3m - he was a free transfer. I sold Robbie Earle for x, y, z." Holdsworth was bought for £650,000. Scales cost £70,000 and was signed five years before Kinnear joined Wimbledon. Robbie Earle retired at Wimbledon a year after Kinnear left. "I think they've got some magnificent midfield players: Tiote. Ben Afri, Yohan Kebab..." No comment. "I mean this is a side I haven't had privilege to be with - a lot of players still there that were there when I was still there - I brought Krul to the club and I think he's a terrific goalkeeper." Tim Krul was recruited from ADO Den Haag in 2006. Kinnear arrived at Newcastle in 2008. "A lot of players still there that were there when I was still there...Perch is still there." Perch was bought in the summer of 2010, some 18 months after Kinnear left the first time. "Shola Amamobi is getting better and better, he's a young kid. Galteirez, and of course a lot of other players." Getting the names of your own players right probably isn't that important. Oh, and Shola Ameobi is 31. He probably means his younger brother, Sammy. "I don't know what angle they've got. If they want to sit down and argue with me, some of them are talking out their backsides, a load of tosh and I'm not accepting it. It's as simple as that. I've certainly got more intelligence than them, that's for sure." This was in response to the question: 'Is there anything you would like to say to the Newcastle fans who perhaps don't back this decision?' It's probably all going to be fine. Ambition Incidentally, among all that bullsh*t Kinnear also scoffed at the idea that he might be after Alan Pardew's job, that this was just a stepping stone to the big chair. He said: "Now this job come up, which I thought was a fairly responsible job, but already they are jumping on the bandwagon 'Oh watch out Pardo, watch out', but that's the snidey press." Of course, there might be reasons why that people are jumping to that conclusion. Reasons like this interview, given by Kinnear in June 2012, quoted in The Times this morning: "I would consider something like a director of football post. But I would do that for just one reason and that is to get myself back into full-time management. If I was a director of football and the manager was struggling and got the old tin-tack, I would tell them that I'd take over."

This. He sounded like he was too stoned to talk. Very odd. I would definitely go for the ham hand.

Another Stain.

So, to round off my temporary obsession with all things Boards and electronica, here's the latest edition of my podcast which is a Warp Records special.

Thanks man, that's incredible!

I think it's their darkest, most frightening record to date, and also the starkest. It's almost like all the childlike melodies (and the children's voices) that we had on their first couple of records are invoked and mourned by their absence. All pretty brutal and post-apocalypse. In a good way...

If that happens we'll all have to share the guilt.

Same as that for me, although I'd definitely have had Clyne on the ballot.

Fair play, it wasn't meant as a criticism of you. The gist of the article I agree with, in that we're trying to do things in a more sustainable manner, investing in youth and home-grown players, infrastructure, not throwing good money after QPR. A lot of those things though we were doing under previous regimes, but without the extra financial clout to make them successful at the top level. It's always nice to see people talking positively about the club though.

It doesn't sit well with the narrative, but we should remember that Morgan was a Rupert Lowe buy.

bosh!

Is any of this true? I want it to be true.

Hmm, Saints player good enough for international football but never capped by his country... Andy Townsend?

Playsturbation.

[video=youtube;-BTAECerv_s]