Danbert

I love the way they're dressing up repairing their dilapidated shack so all the pond life don't accidentally burn to death as "boosting the capacity of the stadium".

And the endless non-paragraphs about where the guy sits

One of Neil's finest: http://www.bognor.co.uk/sport/pompey-latest/pompey-defender-keen-to-vacate-unwanted-seat-1-6318754 I can't believe this drivel makes it into print

I think this is the first of the plucky fan funders who has paid for the privilege of writing his own personal match report on the Pourtsmouth FC site. I just find the whole concept really weird... http://www.portsmouthfc.co.uk/news/article/fanfunders-wycombe-report-1933361.aspx?

I went to a school in Kent. Our portacabins sank of ****.

It doesn't actually say their making a financial contribution.

Lots of laughs in this one: http://www.bognor.co.uk/sport/pompey-latest/first-look-at-pompey-training-ground-1-6314026 WTF Neil??? Building? Secondhand portacabin? Caravan? No property developers here, nope, never, not true.

It's official, they are the bestest: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2764077/Portsmouth-fans-watch-League-Two-draw-Wycombe-QPR-manage-Premier-League-clash-against-Stoke.html?ITO=1490&ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490

You share a bed?

No gimic to pathetic... http://www.portsmouthfc.co.uk/news/article/meet-pompeys-latest-signing-1927537.aspx

This was what got to me: "The Car Finance Company and The World Of Cars have similar values to ours as a community football club." Presumably this boils down to "milking the plebs for all they're worth."

Quite a few, I think...

I think you mean "Europe's leading alternative finance provider."

Spivs are our sponsor innit... http://www.portsmouthfc.co.uk/news/article/the-world-of-cars-sponsor-north-stand-1922765.aspx? Selling cars at 49.6% API should be illegal

If I'd made it up it would have been less like a parody (and grammatically correct)... http://hereisthecity.com/en-gb/2014/09/16/ad-pompey-fans-react-on-twitter-to-failed-city-of-football-bid/? In case you haven't visited the Pompey In The Community site it's here: http://www.pompeyitc.co.uk/ All very worthy, of course, but their tagline made me giggle anyway: "YOUR CITY YOUR CLUB YOUR CHARITY"

You mean you don't know? They're the most passionest and therefore the bestest in world football.

It must be terrifying

Nottingham beats of Manchester to be Sport England's City of Football Pompey were very much third favorites, I fear...

Wasn't that Pelle?

"Here's the paperwork, there's the deeds. The End." Yeah, I really don't get how it can be complex. It belongs to whatever incorporated entity or individual is entered on the deed as the owner surely. Simple Land Registry look up and bob's your uncle, it belongs to whoever it belongs to.

I love the phrase "former club land" Does this mean that it belonged to one of the former Pompey's, or is it that it's no longer theirs? Either way, surely it's not theirs. I guess it's complex...

More murky goings on dressed up as right and proper: http://www.chichester.co.uk/sport/pompey-latest/further-pompey-player-windfalls-ruled-out-1-6291340 "Meanwhile, the wrangle over the disposal of former club land in Bedhampton continues. And Birch admitted it was a ‘complex’ issue. He said: ‘It is a bit of land which is a bit complex in terms of who owns it."

So a £500,000 payout as part of the Johnson transfer because Liverpool finished second: http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/sport/pompey/johnson-windfall-to-benefit-pompey-creditors-1-6286300 The money grubbing begging bastards tried to claim the money was theirs, but it isn't.

I see their mighty academy and future of the club lost to errr... Cheltenham on Saturday. Good thing they're investing all that community money in some actual pitches. To be fair, it must be hard training in the street.

Err, I think you mean "fink's" not "think's"