dubai_phil

So apparently today is Panic Saturday. Stores are slashing their prices in a bid to shift stocks. Payday is finally almost here so you can afford to go Christmas Shopping or you simply left it too late and just reallised you need to go and buy the 1D DVD or Tracey Island (or this year's equivalent). There must be some heroic tales of Survival, success against all odds, or simply horror stories of punch-ups in Aldi as the last bottle of Bubbly is fought over. Make sure Tapatalk is working, Check the Credit Card status, ensure the First Aid Kit is to hand and get out there and give us pictures & stories from the front line!

Think Trousers is writing the script, something to do with a Football Club Takeover

Yes FFS the Topless Pie eating competition. Where are our photos?

Who has the PM's? I just checked, the last one I had was some Bear Porn from Tokyo Saint. What have I missed out on this time?

Have to agree on that. finally saw it (but not in 3D) this week.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Japanese-Developing-Sex-Robots&id=55797 Hmm so THAT is what Toke's is up to. Seems he is also a fan of Almost Human.......

In the greatest non shock in Reality TV history. They walked it. We ARE doomed. Trust me, a couple of large Bacardi & Cokes and 18 cups of tea have not helped. On the PLUS side, from the spotty, nervous College Kid of the audition, Sierra has developed into a Yes, I would happily ruin her. She also appears to have pleasant Bewbs thanks to the low cut number she was wearing in the Finale. Unfortunately for Rule 1 the only way I can post a pic is to put up (another) You Tube **** of them singing. Won't inflict that on you, you'll have more than enough of them, I'm back off to watch repeats of Golf to calm down

Watching One Direction sing their latest song and thinking 1) Actually it is not dreadful and worse 2) Thinking Harry Styles could become the next Mick Jagger I think I need some Meds....

Oh FINALLY Back on TMS ground. As you mentioned Tits here are some as approved by our local censors

She's watching the game on TELLY? What sort of message is THAT at the start of her life. Get a mate to sneak her into the Northam FFS. Congratulations to you & Mrs SO16_Saint & Welcome aboard Olivia

All we need now is Fleetwood Mac to be confirmed then as long as the other Headline isn't Mrs Carter (Beyonce) it'll be a great weekend

Christmas Day is for The Great Escape. Doesn't apply to us anymore.

FFS it was my Stag weekend. I still have blank days even now. It would have been end of April sometime, Fruhligungs Fest or something. Son-in-Law had his Stag there in 2012, mine was this year. Word is the two gangs are planning a combined re-union tour for next April. Everyone on TSW was invited and Positivepete made it across. (Although he has never been the same since his unfortunate PTS Face Paint incident) Will let TMS know the details for the next one in case there are any that fancy trying Stenkelfish or teaching Bayern fans the AL song in Hofbrauhaus. And Pap. Just get the programme on Sunday and read the Golf story, don't try and send me down no Ladyboy Phil road, you'll only end up entering yourself for next year's rinsed award.

It WAS a great story. It just had the one tiny technical error. However, IF I was ever deemed important enough to be called up to play in The Ryder Cup, it would cost me a bloody fortune to get to Scotland and find a field for a tent for a week, so I would probably spread the tiny Porky that "everything was paid for" to ensure I did not get at worst a knife in the guts from Mrs D_P or at best a bill for some fook off huge present to make up for it. Oh Nick? Does your man still want a Tiger one? He won't put a name on it but can get one at end of Jan if you need it. Mind you these days he has to pay US to accept something he has signed

Nah. Volunteers sign up for tournaments through the event web sites. You indicate the number of days you can work and a preference for TV. TV needs 5 clear days. As it is the TV Production Team fly up to 40 people to every event. It simply isn't worth the cost of flying the rest. At the Ryder Cup & British Open for example there are well over 75 volunteers working TV for all the different stations. European Tour Productions then provide the Infrastructure on the course and The Golf Channel provides the production and Commentary team. The On Course team comprise the Cameramen - about 6 work in the Towers on each hole and rotate to be at the holes of the chosen "Group" that are being followed. There are then normally 3 mobile crews, one with the XMo Camera that does all the Slo-Mo work Then you have the Production Team, the Techies who make sure all the batteries are charged up, fix things when Volunteers break them and also lay out around 80kms of cabling around the course before the event. At the larger events, Sky send a commentary team as well as two extra mobile crews. There are about 80 people involved full time from Fit Chick Interns who do all the Managing & Organisation (Hotel bookings. Transport, Visas, Flights etc. The actual crew are on the road around 40 weeks a year, the mobile guys usually more than that. The Golf Channel Commentary Crew, Doogie Donnelly, Renton Laidlaw, Mark Warren, Julian Tutt, Ken Brown & Jay Haas rotate the events they cover. You'll hear them at the "smaller events on Sky each weekend, then the Sky Crew of Boxie, Howard Clark, Sam Torrance etc roll in for the proper big stuff. At an actual Tournament up to another 30 staff are needed for TV Moble Crew Drivers - they drive the buggies and set up the Tripods around the greens etc Antenna Holders - often connected to the camera, they hold the pole so the WiFi signal gets back to the mobile Studio Mike Holders - They stand by the players with the big fluffy mikes so you can hear the likes of Tiger swearing Spotters - between 6 & 8 people who walk ahead of the playing group, walk out to see which ball landed where (or find it if they hit a rubbish shot). They then call in the Shot Order so that the TV Producer knows what is going on - eg Match 23 Hole 7 2nd Shot Order X, then Y, then Z. From that you then see the image on the TV screen with those little signs that come up and say things like Birdie Putt and the Producer knows something is about to happen and can switch to the correct camera. Training usually takes an hour, Drivers need to be regular players on the course (they have to know where to go) Spotters need to have actually played golf and be able to recognise the actual players the Mike crew need to have a brain to make sure they aren't too close or their shadows are in the way, and the Antenna holders are usually numpties. (I'll put your name down for that if you like Nick?) All those guys are Volunteers, but because they are working for TV they get the 100 quid for the week. The normal Volunteer crews (down here) get about 100 quid's worth of Golf Gear (eg Greg Norman Event Branded Golf Shirts, a Jacket, Hat), free food all week, free admission (in Abu Dhabi & Dubai Desert Classic THAT saves 80 odd quid for an admission ticket) Then about a month after the event they have a Volunteers Golf Day so you get a free round of Golf (worth 140 quid here in the winter), Dinner and free booze. Net Month I will write an essay on the OTHER voluntary jobs that make big events happen. 3,600 Volunteers at The Ryder Cup for example

When you debate seriously with yourself about asking for a set of these for Christmas instead of socks.... http://edition.cnn.com/2013/11/22/tech/innovation/apparently-this-matters-shreddies/?iref=obnetwork

Now THAT is a Golf Story. It would be believable apart from the flights & accomodation paid for bit. A pal once did the Presidents Cup - he had to pay for it. I certainly read that the Gleneagles gig costs Volunteers 150 quid for the uniform & they STILL have to use the Park & Ride, don't even get a Parking space! The only job like that which normally pays is the TV Crew (driving the buggies, holding the mikes etc) that pays 25 quid a day. Unless of course your mate was THE MAN. In which case why the **** are you not leveraging him to make a fortune out of selling Tickets? You could afford to BUY the Catering Company FFS the few left are going for around a Grand a DAY! (although mind you, he probably told his misses that the flights etc were paid for, as telling her you are taking a week+ off to go that far and work at the golf without her might just prove a tough sell.....)

You know what Bear? I'm starting to get an inkling that this thread could win next year's award as well. Sure, by then the joke may be a bit stale, but then so are the pies as often as not. (Allegedly)

About a year ago we all thought NC was as mad as a box of Frogs when he sacked our Nige. This all seems very different. NC had a Bloody Good plan. Tan seems to have Jet Lag. Feel sorry for the Cardiff fans, but then I guess Sunderland, Palace & Fulham will all sleep easier tonight. And I bet it is fun in the pubs of Swansea this evening...........

For Pap. You know you are getting old when..... Your Barber trims your eyebrows, nasal hair and uses the Trimmer on your ears..... Anyone seen or heard from Whitey lately?

And I thought the Apollo was in Victoria? Appalling reporting of dreadful news.

So miss-spelling makes you realise you are old then?

Living in this strange plastic city I empaphise with the thoughts in your post. Back before '93 when I came here IF I wanted to see a big name act I had to go through the hell of going up to Wembley or occassionally being lucky to get some tickets in Poopey (Genesis) or Bompey to see tours. My first gig here was Brian Adams (who actually puts on a rock show a close second to Bruce). I left home an hour before the show, stood up the front and it rocked. I was home again in 15 minutes. Over the years, thanks to mates, I have seen some amazing gigs, many from up front - Coldplay, Santana, an astonishing vocal performance by The Eagles, Sting, Hell even Head Banging by the speakers to Deep Purple and having Debbie Harry blow me a kiss (and many many more moments more so than Golfing stories!) and FFS even filmed the encore of Muse from on the stage. I have been lucky enough to have seen so many One off gigs HERE up close and personal. And then there is Glasto. Perhaps for you guys it is different. For us here every gig is a "rip off" attempt at a 5 Star event. It is all slick and perfect, but, like this City, the gigs actually have no real soul. (Perhaps the only TRUE shows seen I have seen with soul here were small pub affairs with Howard Jones Unplugged & The Christians Unplugged with about 300 people). In fact the only REAL gigs I see these days with energy & soul are The Zucchini's when I am home in Salisbury & they are playing down the pub. For us, Glasto is like an enema for the soul. It is Medieval. The trudging through the mud to catch The Wombles in concert before swimming down to discover Elbow via Duane Eddy. Do you have ANY idea how wonderful it is to be SMELLY for a few days? Eating complete sh1t and having a krap in a portaloo without a Bidet (or a slave to wipe your ass as some would imagine.) I looked at the Album of the Year thread. I'd never heard of a singe artist. Arcade Fire? Who the feck are they? We NEVER hear that kind of music here. For us, Glasto is about moments. Escaping the rain by getting into the Pussy Parlour and listening to a Ska band from Bristol that were brilliant but who's name I have no idea about. Walking into a tent to hear the entire crowd go beserk & sing along to a song I had never heard by a band I had never heard of - magical moments. Yes I understand Individual gigs are better, but for one long week myself, & Mrs D_P can escape this City with no Soul and find Reality amongst the Mud and weird fast food and not forgetting the joy of the Cider Bus and Mulled Cider for the late night acts. Long may it continue (as long as I have a mate with a Working Camper Van of course)

Look, I know they last won something without cheating financially back in the 1940's, but FFS since that time there have been a few fairly well publicised media articles relating to the Law of Contract and how it applies to Footballers. Mind you I suppose since the 1940's they haven't really had any that played for their club so it is unstandable