In fairness they were a bit - Crawley 0defence was surprisingly good but nothing much in attack (for either club). Pompey build up play was far too intricate - quick breaks would have been the order of the day but that was a tad difficult seeing as they were camped in our half most of the game staring at our back four.
Barnard stuck up front on his own doing his usual busy stuff but never looking likely to score
Does your kid not have personal liability insurance? You could make a claim under that for his personal negligence or alternatively just take him to court and sue the ass off him he must have a trust fund somewhere...
Perhaps its time for a cheeky bid for LaLa and Ricky - we need a few more British benchwarmers ourselves now unless we are planning to decamp permanently to the Netherlands