SuperMikey

Buy me a pint and maybe i'll tell you.

For Pap:

You clearly weren't at the home games against Wigan, Sunderland or Reading last season then...

Cross my heart.

See you at the cider bus lads.

Clyne LB, Chambers RB.

99% of people on the planet are either ****s or ******s.

How you could put that c*nt in your team I will never know - I only put players in my squads that I like!

Same deal for my Gran, she's a Swedish citizen who's been living here for 50 years or so, got her British passport and citizenship a few years ago and had to give up her Swedish one.

If we fluke into Europe this season (unlikely, I know) he will stay. Luke'll leave eventually but not for a year or two at least.

I did enjoy the 15 minute lovemaking scene involving Tuco and Crazy 8 though.

That was a good show. Ah, I miss those days.

I'm not doing both ffs Brian.

5% off with proof that you have to wear a catheter.

Tickets are available for £49.99 (plus £2.49 booking fee) from http://www.supermikey.co.uk/supermikeyhumiliateshimself

1st-4th - I will suck my own d!ck in the middle of West Quay. 5th-8th - I will run naked into a care home and twerk on an elderly lady. 9th-12th - I will nod sagely and politely applaud the players at FT on the last day. 13th-20th - I will be mildly pensive for a couple of days and spend ages making a HCDAJFU list for the summer ahead.

Bought a flask into stadiums dozens of times, wasn't particularly clever to be drinking it pitchside but I imagine they'll let you off with a warning or something.

Viva Osvaldo would work.

Say hi to me Tokyos, my seat's in my location!

Got to win this one - no excuses! ---------------BORUC---------------- CLYNE----FONTE----LOVREN----SHAW ------WANYAMA----MORGAN--------- LALLANA------RAMIREZ----RODRIGUEZ --------------OSVALDO-------------- Palace will look to be compact at the back, so Gaston in the hole to try and provide that killer ball that we lacked against West Ham. It's imperative that one of Lallana, Rodriguez, Osvaldo or Lambert gets on the scoresheet - just to give them that confidence boost. I'm going for 3-0 Saints.

Look everyone, Guly's wearing rainbow laces! What a ghey!

Up to you! I like to bring in one or two younger players in the first season so they can settle properly by the time we're competing for silverware. Get Cork trained for RB too, he's very good there

I've got 3 key things I look for in players: Versatility, Fitness and Consistency. I'm a fan of Mourinho's 23-man squad edict as well, like to stick to that with a couple of versatile youngsters chucked in as well. Take my current squad for example: GOALKEEPERS Francesco Bardi, Paulo Gazzaniga DEFENDERS Nathaniel Clyne (RB, LB), Jack Cork (RB, DM, CM), Calum Chambers (RB), Billy Davies (LB), Luke Shaw (LB), Mamadou Sakho (CB, LB), Dejan Lovren (CB), Doria (CB), Aymen Abdennour (CB, LB), Bartosz Salamon (CB, DM, CM, AM) MIDFIELDERS Victor Wanyama (DM, CM), Morgan Schneiderlin (CM, DM), James Ward-Prowse (CM, AM), Adam Maher (AM, CM), Giacomo Bonaventura (RW, LW, AM, CM, ST), Adam Lallana (LW, RW, AM, CM), Gaston Ramirez (AM, LW, RW), Ashley Harris (AM, LW, RW, CM, ST), Viktor Fischer (LW, AM, ST) STRIKERS Pablo Osvaldo (ST, LW, RW), Rickie Lambert (ST, AM), Emmanuel Mayuka (ST, RW, LW) You can see I like my versatile players. Got Walcott (RW, LW, ST) coming in a month too to add more options up top. Signed up a handful of promising youngsters over the last couple of seasons as well to integrate into the first-team - Chambers, Ward-Prowse and Harris are the first batch to be getting game time and got a Croatian newgen striker banging in goals for Basel on loan so he'll probably get a look-in next year too. Barcelona f*cking got Jovetic at the last minute though which is annoying. Would've been my best player by a mile.