my first reaction would be steve williams, but I fear he would be wasted playing with players with only half his football intelligence and ability.
So seeing as we are in Div 3, I plump for Neil Ruddock.
same as these.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/oxfordshire/8357982.stm
Some sort of public humiliation. Paraded naked though the streets while being pelted with fruit.