SNSUN

I'm ill, and I'm due at work later. This is the only two hours I have to myself today - let's hope Saints make it worth it. Win today, and we're potentially only two more away from promotion!

Disgraceful behaviour. Why can't Saints fans and Pompey fans just hold hands and prance about gayly?

Just woke up, and I had a dream we were winning 6-0 at half time, which actually ended up as the final score. Mind you, we had a couple of our academy players in the line up, who were also the scorers, and we had a new signing playing called Charles Dickens.

WE know that, the live tables will tell us so, but the Skates will think we're morons because Reading sit top of the league. The live table will mean **** to them - they'll see it as it is currently. Commence rioting over whether or not we're actually top.

Sorry Adrian, but I'm in agreement. The nPC title would be a great trophy to win, and a delightful bonus, but at this stage of the season, with six to play, we should only be concerning ourselves with promotion. I want us and Reading to go up, and if you asked me now, I'm not fussed as to which order. If you offered me second, I'd take it. Perhaps my bottle is going in my old age! My point of view on this, is that the title will most likely be decided naturally anyway, when Reading come to SMS. The winner of that game will probably have the title sewn up. As for Reading's game today, I wasn't too fussed. What I really want is for Barnsley to avoid defeat today and Saints to win tomorrow, and we'd only need two more wins from 5 games to guarantee us promotion.

A couple of people at work suggested them too. I saw basic ones on sale at the pharmacy, but I see some sites on line that sell them too. I might have to have a try on those.

How did you quit? After years of threatening to give it up, I'm more determined that ever to give it up once and for all. Should I be buying up all that Nicorette stuff? e-Fags? Replacing fags with sweets? What works? I have tried cold turkey before - nigh on impossible!

I watched Hall Pass yesterday. That's my kind of humour, easy to watch and a bit gross out. I won't ruin it for anyone, but I laughed for ages at the scene where one of the lead characters takes a lady back to his hotel room. Good old Farrellys. 8/10

A teacher caning anyone nowadays would probably end up dead by the hand of his pupil. As for punishing kids, I don't have any yet, but as they're my kids, I'd like to be able to slap them if they were naughty, as my parents did to me. In fact it was my mum that dished out the punishments, using a slipper or flip flop. My dad rarely punished my sister or I, but just the threat of a spanking from him was enough to respect him - he was only called in to do it by my mother if we were REALLY naughty, like the time I spat soup into my sister's face. It was an accident.

Never has an article about someone so pretty featured a photo of someone that looks as if she's had her nose punched in repeatedly by a 6'6'' bouncer. (The Samantha Brick Article, not the OP's!) That she's married to a caveman says a lot about her looks too. I've seen fitter 60 year olds.

Both good ideas. But it's more a case of me WANTING her to get the lady shaves, so I can do my bikini area.

We only need one centre back, whichever league we're in, and Upson is not the answer. Fonte and Hooiveld have my trust, even if we were to get to the Prem, but one decent addition is all that's needed. First signing of the summer is dependant on what league we're in come August, but I reckon a central midfielder is a good shout.

I like him. He's a real try hard and has shown he can put the ball in the back of the net, albeit in League One. The problem I have with Lee is that he's a red card waiting to happen - and we need 11 players every game.

Billy Sharp for sure. The confidence dent of a missed penalty would be negated by the confidence boost of a scored one. Miss the next one, then I'd think about replacing him...

HTH

A razor, built for the purposes of shaving beards, not legs. No love, my razor is not for doing your legs, you have lady products to do that. I'm thinking of getting myself a cutthroat razor, that'd stop her shaving her legs with my damn razor.

3 films watched today, as I was still hungover from my stag and had nothing better to do! (500) Days of Summer - 5/10. I was pretty bored whilst watching this, but it's not bad. It's followable and decently acted. Zooey Deschanel, nice. Ali G Indahouse - 8/10. Most people I know think this is pretty stupid, but I find it entertaining, especially being a local boy to Staines. Ali G's best character, and the only film where he wasn't deliberately trying to wind up the Americans. Rhona Mitra, nice. Anger Management - 6/10. I used to have this on VHS but I never liked it, although watching it today it's not quite as bad as I remember it. I actually like Adam Sandler's films (again that must put me in the minority) but this is one of his weaker attempts. Heather Graham, nice.

Central Chambers was sweeeeeeeet!

I was on my stag do this weekend, and had my phone hidden by my mates, so I didn't have much to do with this fixture. Which, from the sounds of it, and the few minutes I watched on Sky+, is just as well. I said earlier last week that Blackpool were a good team, and so it was proved. If they finish in the play-offs, they'd be my bet to go up - and that's with or without us in them. ...and to Pompey. They'll be hoping they can ruin it for us. We have better players - we just have to overcome this confidence knock. We've blown 1 good lead at the top of the league this season, I hope we've learned from that. I don't care about winning the league, just promotion. West Ham need to better our results by 7. So if we only get 8 more points, West Ham need 15. I'm still confident.

FIlms I have watched today: Tamara Drewe: 5/10. Ok, it's a chick flick, but it was on my Sky+ thanks to the missus and I was doing some ironing so I thought I'd lady it up. It was ok, the acting wasn't bad, the storyline was weak but there were one or two chuckles to be had. Gemma Arterton scampily dressed probably sticks an extra mark on the final score though! The Running Man: 8/10. Granted it's so outdated now, but it's still a great storyline and gripping from start to finish. Some great lines for Arnie, I thought "I'll Be Back" was from another movie for some reason. This was the first 18 movie I ever watched (I think I was 14 at the time), and so it probably holds great memories for me, but it's a very good movie all the same. It's one of those movies that could be re-made. (as is the great Hollywood tradition to take good movies and remake them badly). Also of note, the premise of The Running Man was that it was set in 2019, after a worldwide crash of economy, could happen, and a shortage of oil, could happen. Eerie! Although they did still use cassettes and home videos in the film! (Oh, and I didn't know that Richard Dawson, the great American game show host that portrayed Damon Killian, was born in Gosport!)

Don't go turning their rooms into gyms or games rooms etc, if your family are anything like my family, they'll be back! I moved to Chiswick in '00, hopefully for good. That lasted 3 months. My sister has moved out on 4 different occassions, for varying amounts of time (she was even engaged for one of those), but sure enough she always came home. Now, I'm getting married and quite happy living with my missus, but we know that if anything happened to my job, we'd be skint and have to move back in with my folks - and my sister just last month moved out into her own place... and she already hates it and wants to move home. I'm not a fan of my mother, but it's a compliment to both my parents that we still think of their house as "home". ( Me less so, I'd like to add I've been living out of there for four years now and have NO intention to return!) Now they finally have the house to themselves, they've gone mental and created a mini zoo, containing dogs, parrots, fish and soon to be a gerbil or two. my sister and I think they're compensating for not having children around anymore - despite the both of us being around our 30's.

Bare legs. Jism works well as sun screen too, so I have my missus believing...

We win we win, we lose we lose. It's not season defining yet, but a win would be massive. Blackpool though are my danger team - I think they have a good attacking side although they lack consistancy - so it's about which Blackpool side turns up. We should have beaten them at SMS (Bloody Bart) but I can see a much stronger challenge coming from them at Bloomfield Road. I'm with others - I think a draw would be a very good result here, but we do have the edge to possibly win this. Lose? Not the end of the world, but it'd mean picking up a result in one of our other dodgy games, Palace or MBoro away.

Cracking story... and I'm sure he realises that had he supported a "big" team, he wouldn't have had this avenue for extra memorabilia from Saints fans! The more fans the merrier I say!