Whitey Grandad

Try one fifth. Or one tenth.

Because if they say that their giving you a lb how can you prove it?

Because in order to do so we would need a whole system of trading standard to support it.

When you drop a screw on the floor and it disappears without trace.

Could even be a unit captured by the Russians. Does the advert say “Only used once”?

We are a work in progress. The problem is that we have been that for some time and we haven’t made any progress.

Nowadays we get a car to take us up and meet us when we return. We used to use English Rose but they are no longer in operation so we now use Wessex Cars* of Winchester, wessexcars.com The journey up is just under £100 and they will meet you on your return for about £10 more. Compared with the cost of parking and fuel we find it well worth it. Plus if you arrive back after an overnight flight there is no driving to be done. It's a lot more relaxing. *other chauffeur taxi service are available.

Get your butler to do it for you.

I think we can afford one with a top.

Putting up a tent is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. Unzip the door, put up your pole, and slip into the old bag. Swiss Toni

Their best players seem to be loan players.

I read in The Times today that Real Madrid had exercised the option to use digital tickets but Liverpool FC declined. "Meanwhile, it has emerged Liverpool turned down the option of using digital tickets for the final in the belief that it would be open to abuse. Liverpool thought that the QR codes on offer would add another layer of complexity so requested paper tickets for their fans. Real Madrid chose to take up the digital option." And... "Real Madrid supporters have recalled similar stories to Liverpool fans over the treatment they received at the Champions League final on Saturday, dismissing the notion the issues were solely caused by fans of the Premier League club. Real fans have spoken of similar bottleneck problems when entering the Stade de France and corroborated tales that those jumping security barriers were young locals rather than ticket-holders from either club. Supporters also spoke of their horror after the game when some fans were targeted by thieves as they made their way out of the stadium. The French sports minister Amélie Oudéa-Castéra blamed the chaotic scenes on what she said were 40,000 Liverpool fans without tickets or with fake tickets. She doubled down on her argument on Monday. “The fact that the Real Madrid club has supervised the coming of its supporters to Paris to such an extent, by scheduling buses from the airport and organising everything from start to finish — which contrasted sharply with what the Liverpool club did, letting its supporters out in the wild — made a huge difference,” she said.

We gave up our tent and bought a caravan well over 30 years ago. For northern Europe it's like having a second home compared to a tent. You're off the ground away from the damp yet still have the open air just outside your door.

In the UK maybe it is. Down by the Mediterranean it can be very pleasant.

I could hear it clearly in Chandler's Ford and that's eight miles away.

There will be an investigation in due course after which those responsible will be exonerated one way or another, maybe even because they did nothing wrong. There’s no rush.

Who are ‘they’? What makes you say this? If you are trying to make a point, what is it?

That’s because he’s not a prem CB.

Now there’s a thought. 👹

Ounce bounce. Bounce rhymes with ounce. There aren’t many words that rhyme with kilogram.

In general I like dogs. I cannot stand yappy dogs.

I can’t see either of these teams being a threat next season.

Definitely should have been a penalty.

I’ve mentioned this before but how much of this was due to Ramadan?

That takes me back. Lbf, foot-poundals, British Thermal Units. What’s not to like?