Whitey Grandad

Yup, absolutely insane. Welcome to ripoff Britain.

It takes time to fit into a pattern of play and to 'gel' with an established team. Just look at Lee's runs into an offside position. When the whole team is looking for them it will be a different matter.

62 years 8 months (nearly). Born in Edmonton within kicking distance of White Hart Lane. Brought up as a beachboy near Harwich in Hi-de-Hi country in the 50s when my dad used to go to watch Alf Ramsey's Ipswich. Moved back to Enfield at 15. Three years at Cambridge studying engineering. My dad had been a very good amateur fullback so I started playing right back for my college. Went to watch Tottenham quite a few times in the 60s when Greaves and Gilzean were playing for them. Chose Hampshire when I started work, first Fareham and then Chandlers Ford where I am now. I used to play football at weekends so had no time for watching it. My wife's parents moved to Christchurch so I went to Bournemouth with my father-in-law, sadly missed. My daughter started to get interested in football during Italia 90 so I took her to some games with her friends, first Bournemouth but she wanted First Division so I took them to the Dell. We beat QPR 3-1 (I think) so she was hooked. If only we had lost my life would have been a lot less complicated. We gradually went to more games until I got two season tickets. This was during the Branfoot era so there were plenty available but we've had them ever since. First away game? I can't remember exactly but we went to a lot in those days. Gave up playing at 40, then refereed until about 8 years ago when my business needed all my attention. It's been fascinating reading all the mini bios and amazing how widespread our support is both in terms of age and distribution. One crowd holds thousands of different stories. Somebody should write a book.

It's very difficult to prove a negative.

And what was the score when Cork came on?

Pubs are too expensive, they have priced themselves out of business, especially food and soft drinks.

I don't think that's in his remit.

I'll settle for clean sheets from here on in.

It's never fair to criticise a player when we don't know what instructions he has received from the manager.

I thought that he would either get his £17m or take possession of the ground?

Well he was caught offside at least five times.

Good for him. I don't think we need him at the moment. Who would you drop for him?

He put in a shift today. Covered the whole pitch. A couple of mistakes and miscontrol but you could say that about most of them.

You could try A2B taxis, they have minibus thingies. 02380223450

No, it doesn't work like that. Also HMRC don't run the nation's budget, uncle George does that as we shall see on March 21st. So long as Vince Cable says it's ok.

But West Ham would have an extra game in hand?

Even Birch is blaming HMRC now: 'If HMRC had the infrastructure in place they would not rack up the arrears, so that is something they must look at.' Yeah, right, blame everybody except yourselves. How about 'If Portsmouth football Club paid its taxes on time like most businesses they would not rack up arrears'.

You left out 'let Chopra get inside him which led to the fantastic save from Kelvin'. We wouldn't have seen that if it weren't for Harding.

Or Piquionne, out on loan.

He's one of us, just with different views of the same situations.

Saints 3 Forest 2. ?

Before you ask:

That's a very fair summary, Sandwichsaint.

Mmmm... if Wimbledon can move to Milton Keynes, how much more of a stretch is it from Glasgow to Portsmouth? Or maybe somewhere with untapped potential, Celtic Warrington?

West Ham x Reading 31st March is going to be influential.