Wade Garrett

I'd keep him just for his goal celebration v Palace, where he honoured Kelvin. Very classy.

Anyone else getting really f*cking bored of all this bullsh*t now?

Like saying I'm flattered because Kelly Brook wants me to give her one.

Unbelievable! Would never happen these days.

His form was outstanding after he left Spurs.

What sort of football does FDBs teams play?

Top man Jimmy. The Piam Brown ward of Southampton General is an amazing place that looks after sick children. Sadly they couldn't save the daughter of friends of ours, but it wasn't through the want of trying.

The idea that an agent wouldn't tell his client about a more lucrative move (and more commission for himself) is laughable. As I have said before, it's a stitch up.

Was he? Or is this some sort of ruse. Old agent is the good guy, then gets his other client in at Saints. Sorry, I don't buy it.

Will you be buying a new orange shell suit? Would also come in handy for weddings/court appearances.

, I don't. Too coincidental, suggests a stitch up to me.

Pellegrini. Done a superb job at clubs in La Liga comparable in size to us. Really don't want Flores or AVB.

I don't know how it's going to turn out for Everton in the future, but his summary of us is difficult to argue with.

Do you still have to go to the bottom of your garden for a sh*t?

Neville Southall can't be discounted. He's looking particularly sharp these days.

If Les is serious about the barnet of the new manager, David Armstrong must be near the top of his list.

Simple then, Ron and the club tell Everton to f*ck off, and Ron signs a new contract. Doesn't matter to me who loses face behind the scenes, it would be best for the club and I reckon the supporters would be over the moon.

You might be getting him mixed up with Kenny Lynch.

Granted he's not young, but this might be a positive. Much less likely to be tempted elsewhere in a couple of years time. He has tons of European experience. Took 2 similar clubs in Villareal and Malaga into the last 4/8 of the Champions League. He wasn't good on the young player side at City, but that was probably more to do with club policy. He's obviously a good coach, has got players to over-achieve at smaller clubs. He also knows the Premier League well. Have I sold it to you?

What attributes do you think we're looking for Charlie?

The most iconic sportsperson ever. A true legend.

You missed out him getting Villareal to the Champions League semi-finals as well. Would be perfect for us.

Cant see it myself. Their new investor is worth less than Ms Liebherr. Can see this one ending in tears.

I can't understand Koeman. On one hand, he wants us to demonstrate ambition by not selling our top players every Summer. A fair point that resonates with a lot of supporters beaten down over the past couple of Summers. On the other, he's going to Everton and the first thing he'll do is oversee the sales of Stones and Lukaku. But it really isn't a great job. It's an average one, with a players budget (net spend £40m) the same or maybe marginally bigger than most of the league. It can only be about wages.

I respect that.