Lighthouse

If we’re including goals from a few years back in the table we don’t need a striker at all. Walcott scored 21 for Arsenal, that’s pretty much the same without spending a penny.

Property in the Med for the summer. Property on the Palm Jumeirah for winter Property in the French Alps for winter skiing and summer hiking Lamborghini Huracán A speed boat, nothing big and fancy that needs a crew etc. just something fun you can do some wakeboarding and waterskiing on. A hot Ukrainian woman Invest in a bunch of stuff. Give a chunk to charity, so I can w*nk about how good and righteous I am. Give a chunk to my family so they can do whatever they want.

Ask the scouts, and if they don’t have an answer then sack them.

If Fred Smith who had no prior connection to Saints was 30 and scored 7 goals last season, would you be clamouring to offer him a £100k+ contract?

Probably fill the car up with diesel.

We took action to ban the use of CFC gasses in products like deodorant and it seems to have had the desired effect. Likewise acid rain has been tackled by environmental restrictions on emissions of sulfur and other chemicals. These aren't things which just went away on their own because they were some eighties media fad, they required positive action.

What has lead you to believe that Bazunu, ABK, Lavia and Aribo are dire?

Because it’s a preseason friendly and we want to examine how our new team performs in a variety of different formations, and which ones best suit individual players.

Given that we’ve chosen our preseason routine, who we play against and which team we put out, I’ve no idea why people would be alarmed or disappointed by this. Is clearly all part of the preparation plan, it’s only been two months since we were playing regular football. It’s not as if we have 17 broken legs to recover from.

I’ve seen +47 in Dubai one afternoon and -37 in northern Finland, near Kittila. Neither was a particularly pleasant experience. I like nice low thirties during the day on a beach holiday and low twenties the rest of the time.

If a ball isn’t dead when the WK has it safely in hand and runs the length of the wicket to knock over both stumps, then it never will be. Imagine that happening on the first ball of a test match and the openers just keep running for 5 days straight. Match drawn on 8,463-0 off 0.1 overs.

Stressful game politics. Anne Widdecombe is 23.

If we’re doing John Cleese quotes; that ball is dead, it has ceased to be, it is no more. Bereft of life, it has shuffled off the wicket of life and joined the choir invisible. It has passed on and if you hadn’t nailed it to the stumps it’d be pushing up the daisies.

Must have done. Gleason ran well beyond the wicket when McD took the bails off and he got to the non-strikers end well before Hartley (who gave him a petulant barge for good measure).

I had to watch it a couple of times to realise they actually got a bye off the free hit. McDermott running the length of the wicket to plough everything down.

The first Hampshire game I remember watching properly was the 2012 final. Miller was slapping it all over the place and it came down to 11 off the last two balls. I can still remember Bumble saying, "foot behind the line young man," in reference to a then very green Chris Wood. You have to say the mental resilience of this team is quite astonishing. Night and day from Saints. To turn it around after the first four games like that and win what, 12 out of 13, including QF, SF and F is something in itself but the manner of some of the victories... just wow. That game in Taunton and the final today, the oponents looked like they were absolutely coasting to a win but the consistently excellent bowling and fielding just ground them down with no let up. That and we absolutely smashed the Northern group winners. Unreal T20 season.

F**k me, what an end to a game of cricket. A no ball, of all the times to pick one.

Not looking good, need something massive from the middle order.

I was talking about the revolver, you Wally.

Stonking! Who saw this coming after the first four group games?

I don’t think 190 will be enough on this wicket but it’s something to defend.

Do you mean to say that obese smokers in their fifties, sitting in direct sun all afternoon, drinking alcohol and not touching a drop of water or sun cream might have some problems?

A Calippo goes in quite nicely but I find a Magnum a bit of a struggle.

I fear you may be wasting your time.

As if by magic, a complete non-statement which offers absolutely no insight or opinion at all into anything.